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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids that shriek?

285 replies

Turkishangora · 27/06/2021 12:53

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

OP posts:
3scape · 27/06/2021 13:26

Of course it's all your hard work. Well done you. Star have an award.

UhtredRagnarson · 27/06/2021 13:26

What I’d rather know is why some people let their child honk/press/blow a noisy toy whilst going round the supermarket. I have to hold myself back from taking it off the child myself sometimes. Why?? WHY? Just don’t give it to them. Keep it for your own house!

ChickenFeed30 · 27/06/2021 13:28

My twins (now 8) used to scream in the garden. I found it hideous and felt sorry for the neighbours. Eventually it stopped after sending them indoors for 10-15 mins every time they screamed. It took time and persistence. Telling them to stop had no impact, but time out inside did.

TheSaucepanMan · 27/06/2021 13:30

Christ every single time someone makes an observation that irritates them out come the sensory/autistic comments. Not every child has adhd or autism some are just loud gobshites.

godmum56 · 27/06/2021 13:31

I feel your pain. One of my neighbours has kids and it zseems that the parents have split up. They are nice kids (I have met them with their dad) The kids are either in the house/garden with Dad or in the house/garden with Mum when they are there. Borth parents not there at the same time. When Dad is there there is plenty of child noise but no screaming. If they do scream its stopped by Dad. When Mum is there they scream and she screams back at them not to scream. I accept that she may have her issues but they are not my issues. its obvs not the kids fault but it really sets my teeth on edge.

MissMissTorrance · 27/06/2021 13:31

Dd's friend (10) is a shrieker and I've had to tell DD she is not allowed to invite her into the house anymore as she frightens our dog and makes me feel very anxious.
I've also stopped inviting this particular friend on trips out to the park/shops with us as it's just too much.
I've asked her to quieten down a bit, as has my DD ( who isn't a shrieker) but a couple of minutes later she's at it again.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2021 13:31

@UhtredRagnarson

What I’d rather know is why some people let their child honk/press/blow a noisy toy whilst going round the supermarket. I have to hold myself back from taking it off the child myself sometimes. Why?? WHY? Just don’t give it to them. Keep it for your own house!
You probably should've stated that you're not talking about kids with additional needs.

I assume you are but as you can see from the thread, some posters won't.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2021 13:32

*assume you aren't

mbosnz · 27/06/2021 13:34

My youngest has always been louder than the average bear. I will either say, 'lower your voice', or make a hushing motion with my hand, and then I ignore any sulks that ensue. She's completely neurotypical, just at that age where they're completely oblivious of their surroundings, and I'm hypervigilant and hate shouting.

Although I'm sure our long suffering neighbours would think I indulge her rather too much!

GlassOnTheLawn · 27/06/2021 13:35

Many kids shriek with excitement and emotion when playing, because they haven’t been taught not to. I bring mine indoors the minute they get shrieky! They know screaming and shrieking is for emergencies only. Playing and laughing and calling to each other across the garden is fine; screaming and screeching isn’t.

My friend’s 3 year old has autism and shrieks a lot. He’s always shrieked it’s just more noticeable now as he’s non-verbal. The shrieking is him trying to communicate I think. We try to interpret his needs but it’s not always possible especially with other kids around and often he shrieks for no obvious reason, as if the sound comforts him. Tbh I’ve sort of got immune to his shrieking and tune it out, so has his mum but I’m not sure about their neighbours! None of her other kids shriek. No idea what to advise her and I’m not sure if she’s actually aware how loud he is.

UhtredRagnarson · 27/06/2021 13:36

You probably should've stated that you're not talking about kids with additional needs.

I assume you are but as you can see from the thread, some posters won't.

Yep. Although I’m not sure what additional needs require having to repeatedly blow a whistle or run around shooting a toy gun that makes machine gun noises.

FlaminEckVera · 27/06/2021 13:37

@TheSaucepanMan

Christ every single time someone makes an observation that irritates them out come the sensory/autistic comments. Not every child has adhd or autism some are just loud gobshites.

What they said... ^ And it's not 'judgemental' to comment negatively on loud screechy children, and state how irritating they are.

You can see who the people are on here who have loud, screechy disruptive children (and who do nothing about their behaviour.) But their children are just 'spirited' dontcha know?

So just how DARE anyone say anything about how super annoying and badly behaved they are?! How DARE they? Hmm

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2021 13:38

@UhtredRagnarson

You probably should've stated that you're not talking about kids with additional needs.

I assume you are but as you can see from the thread, some posters won't.

Yep. Although I’m not sure what additional needs require having to repeatedly blow a whistle or run around shooting a toy gun that makes machine gun noises.

Some children with additional needs can go into utter meltdown mode if they can't leave the house with their favourite toy.

It can be like a sense of security for them.

UhtredRagnarson · 27/06/2021 13:41

No doubt. But I don’t think it applied to any of the children whose performances I have experienced.

XioXio · 27/06/2021 13:44

It really IS lack of parenting that lets a child shriek like OP describes.
(Obviously - in the absence of special needs)
(I mean I think it's obvious, but apparently it has to be spelt on on MN Hmm)

WhoWants2Know · 27/06/2021 13:51

I've tried to raise relatively quiet kids by keeping the volume low on tv/radio, using subtitles, and going into a room to speak to them rather than shouting across the house.

It's actually backfired a bit, as now we're all quite noise sensitive and shush each other if we can hear in the next room. 🤷‍♀️

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 13:52

Ds who has sn occasionally shrieks himself but gets distressed (hurts himself)when other children do it. If a child can't help it's just unfortunate but it is annoying when older children who do not have sn do it all the time and their parents think it is a normal part of playing especially when it is in a garden.

NotChristine · 27/06/2021 13:53

Definitely an increase in shrieking these days at a volume and pitch that seems to transcend the usual/expected level of happy play or excitement. My OH commented recently of the local feral kids little darlings ‘Are they trying to murder each other????’

Been an issue for a number of years now, but it definitely seems to be much worse this year. I put it down partly as a response to being allowed to socialise more freely this year, so excitement and volume is higher than usual, but I literally have been unable to hear myself think on some recent evenings at 9.30 when all I’d like to do is unwind in my garden. It’s not much to ask, and that sense of being part of a wider society even at a young age is being lost.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/06/2021 13:55

Yanbu OP.

Some children (many in fact) do not have any more of additional needs, they just aren't that well behaved.

I'd guess (and will be crucified on here for saying it, of course) that in any instance where you see children behaving badly, it is more likely they are NT than not.

billy1966 · 27/06/2021 13:58

@JellyTumble

YANBU. It’s a lack of parenting.
This.

Most children can be a bit load but consistent parenting reminding them to have consideration for others, particularly neighbours absolutely works.

It is really ignorant and rough to allow your children to scream in the garden and I certainly trained mine not to.

When friends would come on play dates and start screaming mine would sush them and ask them to dial it down.

Obviously children make noise in the garden but repeatedly screeching endlessly is unforgivable IMO.

CagneyNYPD · 27/06/2021 14:00

I was thinking about this very thing this morning. As I listened to the loud shrieking wafting from the garden belonging to a neighbour a few doors away. At 8am on a Sunday morning.

Our road is a real mix of families with school aged children and elderly residents who have lived here for 40/50 years. So lots of children's playing noises, trampolines, BBQs, lawn mower noises etc.

The neighbours in question moved in a few months ago. Young dc. Very, very shrieky with a dad who seems to encourage this really noisy type of play. Lots of chasing games up and down the road, all shouting at the top of their voices. All quite strange.

And yes, I am aware that some will call me a misery guts. But the fact remains that new neighbours have become the loudest family on the street very quickly, with very shrieky children. So yes, I am judging. So what?

candyflossss · 27/06/2021 14:02

just one of those things I think.

my two sisters have been brought up exactly the same (8 and 10) one of them has always been really loud and shrieks, the other is very quiet.

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 14:03

"I'd guess (and will be crucified on here for saying it, of course) that in any instance where you see children behaving badly, it is more likely they are NT than not."

Not necessarily because what some may describe as bad behaviours may be behaviours that are relatively prevalent in children with certain additional needs but unusual in those without. Eg a school aged child having a full on meltdown.

Nonmaquillee · 27/06/2021 14:04

None of my DC have ever shrieked unless in pain. I just couldn’t tolerate it at all.

XioXio · 27/06/2021 14:04

@candyflossss

just one of those things I think.

my two sisters have been brought up exactly the same (8 and 10) one of them has always been really loud and shrieks, the other is very quiet.

Not just one of those things. Sure some children might be more inclined to shriek than others but it doesn't mean it's acceptable. The shrieking sister should have been told to stop
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