Kids that shriek?

[Turkishangora]

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

I don't mind it too much in the garden from time to time but despise screeching kids in pubs and restaurants. My kids can squeal if we have the hosepipe out or something but only for a few minutes and they soon calm down. No way would I let them just screech out there all day.

Expressing themselves=only my kids matter. Only ever said by the parents of NT children. Parents of children with sn know they have to do some parenting.

@Goldenbear

Is it as easy as that, I don't think so. I think it can be pretty harmless, especially if you are in your own home. There are scale of offensive things and people need to put it in perspective. Children aren't robots so I haven't programmed mine or indeed my DD's friends terms of expression. You cannot pre-empt these moments so what are you supposed to do. There are all sorts of behaviours I have seen in the general public that are far worse than the occasional shrieking but I have to accept it. I was at a farm play place yesterday and there was a particularly vicious Mum just been nasty with her mannerism and overly strict like she enjoyed dishing out her meanness- that offended me as it is not pleasant to be around but can I say anything? not really as really she was just a script, mean mum.

Is anything about parenting easy? And the in your own home thing? Fine take them in doors, shut the doors and windows and let them scream all day if you want. I don't think anybody on here is criticising the occasional tantrum, the occasional scream. But if your child/children are neuro typical and you can't stop them making neighbours lives a nightmare then yes lazy incompetent parenting.

Oh God I used to live next door to shrieking kids. Bloody nightmare. Shit parenting in my view and it shows a complete lack of respect for your neighbours. Nobody expects kids to play quietly but ear piercing screams are something else..

I absolutely hate screaming. We've just been away camping for the weekend and kids were screaming a lot. My kids have never screamed because if they did, I'd stop the game and say that I won't carry on playing or you'll have to come in etc if you make that noise. Hence they stopped a bit quick.

@TheSaucepanMan

Christ every single time someone makes an observation that irritates them out come the sensory/autistic comments. Not every child has adhd or autism some are just loud gobshites.

It is not saying that all kids who shriek have SN, it's saying that some of us, despite our best efforts in parenting, can feel judged by parents who do not understand the difficulties we face. I do not see SN as an excuse for bad behaviour and am a strict parent. However, when the children are excited/scared/overwhelmed they can become loud and it can take a while for that to settle, (with intervention) I do not wish to be judged as a terrible parent by smug, uneducated in SN people in these instances. Yes, there are weak parents out there but we just want to say that have some understanding that not all children are the same. Sometimes we respond to posts like this as a reminder that we are not all on the same playing field. Some people just love to judge others.

@JellyTumble

YANBU. It’s a lack of parenting.

What nonsense. My children are loud an the 5 year old will shriek from time to time mainly when excited does not mean I don't parent them tho.

Next door do that.His dm tells him to get away from the house and to do it at our end as it's so loud and annoys her.😊

I agree with Cherryberrybonbon and I actually the tolerance over the pandemic has become worse. Those WFH, I am doing the same but appreciate that life cannot stand still just because I am now wfh. A woman on my friend's street who doesn't have children and is wfh comes out of her house and objects to the noise of children walking home from school- it's ridiculous!

My 3 year olds natural speaking voice is REALLY loud. Drives me insane as I am very intolerant of loud noises

My 6 year old has a very loud voice and I’m always reminding her to turn the volume down (she’ll shout in my ear if I don’t). It’s like she doesn’t register how loud she is. It’s embarrassing in the garden as the neighbours get a running commentary/stream of consciousness type narrative of what we’re doing. I’m quite relieved when the man goes in his shed and starts woodwork as nobody can hear her over the sound of his power tools!

She doesn’t shriek though just talks constantly!

Have this issue with my neighbours grandkids. They are 3 and 6. Both shriek and scream at the tops of their voices for hours at a time. It is pure hell

My son really didn’t shriek, but then he never got anything out of the first time he tried.

Same for tantrums.

The level of negotiation he has developed to get what he wants without shrieking or tantrums has driven me up to the wall for years though.

They definitely do it more now and I don't know why. My classroom is on the edge of the playground and it is impossible to introduce my afternoon lessons some days as because of staggered lunches there are classes out for play until 2pm. Some children literally scream the whole of playtime and even when told not to they start up again almost immediately. It is almost like they don't realise they are doing it.

I really hope I can close my windows next year!

I have a teenager that plays hip hop on his record player so I'm well aware of the noises teenagers make vivainsomnia but I understand he wants to play his music, I did the same as a teenager, occasionally got told to turn it down. We don't have neighbours on one side of our house where my son's room is. That said, I would tell him to turn it down/off if he was being unreasonable. I just don't think shrieking with excitement at a normal time of the day, occasionally, is hugely offensive. We have to also teach children about tolerance, they are going to have a very unhappy life if they think that the world has to revolve around their preferences. I would argue that that is poor parenting and encourages a self centred outlook.

We were camping a few weeks ago with my18 year old and 10 year and kids were shrieking outside until gone half 10. It annoyed my 10 year old so much, he laughingly asked if we could go to an adult only campsite next time!

How do you decide if a child has SN before judging the family? I have no idea if my neighbour's child has a hidden disability because if so it will be hidden. But having 2 boys with SN myself I probably have a much higher threshold for imperfection than most.

There’s a massive difference from the odd shriek, and kids enjoying themselves from constant shrieking. That is bad parenting to allow that.

I just don't think shrieking with excitement at a normal time of the day, occasionally, is hugely offensive
People who complain about kids shrieking do not refer to those who do it occasionally, as in as so one off as when introduced to a new pet, or being shown a new garden toy.

We are talking of kids who will shriek when chased, or jumping on the trampoline, or play fighting. That is when it goes in just about every time they are out in the garden because it's normality for them and that's because their parents haven't told them any different.

That can be because the parents are lazy and just can't be bothered to discipline, too happy to get rid of their kids in the garden whilst they enjoy some quiet time inside. Or because that level of strident noise doesn't bother them, usually because they themselves are loud, shouting and sadly even shrieking too.

Yes but who decides what is the threshold. Equally, it is so arrogant to declare, with absolute conviction, what constitutes a good/bad parent. I don't think it is great parenting to be obsessed with rules and discipline, it is unimaginative and IMO lazy but I do realise that is just my opinion.

A lot of the time you won't know if children have special needs or not so how can you judge?
My DD2 who has ASD used to scream during a melt down and I did feel for our neighbours but there was literally nothing I could do about it.
She has got better as she's got older. I can see why it would be annoying but most of the time you don't know the circumstances.

You are just describing a difference in character there and this comes back to intolerance again.

Mine shrieks. Drives me utterly insane. Painfully ear piercing loud shriek.

My other also talks at full volume with a megaphone all the time. Also drives me utterly insane.

Short gagging them I've run out of ideas.

My twins were louder than any of my other children. They used to get progressively louder as the day went on. There was no way that ‘telling them not to’ worked- it did not do a thing.

Don’t assume you’ve done something through your parenting, when it could just be your kids and your circumstances that have made it happen.

• Goldenbear

Yes but who decides what is the threshold. Equally, it is so arrogant to declare, with absolute conviction, what constitutes a good/bad parent. I don't think it is great parenting to be obsessed with rules and discipline, it is unimaginative and IMO lazy but I do realise that is just my opinion.*

This is so insightful @Goldenbear I love it

My daughter used to like shrieking, we used to bring her inside after a warning if she shrieked. I don’t understand parents helplessly saying how are we supposed to stop them screaming? I mean, the same as you would stop them throwing toys/climbing on furniture/smacking other children. You teach them it isn’t acceptable behaviour. Of course, if the child has special needs it’s a different situation.