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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids that shriek?

285 replies

Turkishangora · 27/06/2021 12:53

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 17:28

Well I'm referencing my experience which has been in my house. I'm not sure we can curtail natural exuberance whatever our good intentions. There are different things in life that can upset a range of people but you cannot adjust your behaviour all the time. One of the girls in my DDs friendship group cannot curtail it so there isn't much you can do about it.

ViciousJackdaw · 27/06/2021 17:28

@Goldenbear

'Lazy parenting'?? No just not micro managing parent! That's the way my DD and her friends tend to expres their feelings of happiness, I wouldn't curtail that as it is momentary and actually lovely to see that level of joy over not much, there's an innocence to it which I think is beautiful.
That's nice. Personally, I find it fucking annoying.
BojackHorsewoman · 27/06/2021 17:28

And this is much better preparation for adult and school life where "sorry teacher, I'm just expressing myself" or "sorry I'm not coming for interview as it isn't how I express myself" obviously won't work out so well.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 17:32

ViciousJackdaw, really original opinion you have there.

There's not a problem with school and last time I checked 9/10 year olds don't go to work in this country so interview preparation a long way off.

Yaykyay · 27/06/2021 17:34

@Goldenbear

'Lazy parenting'?? No just not micro managing parent! That's the way my DD and her friends tend to expres their feelings of happiness, I wouldn't curtail that as it is momentary and actually lovely to see that level of joy over not much, there's an innocence to it which I think is beautiful.
Sounds like you're one of the parents op is talking about.
BojackHorsewoman · 27/06/2021 17:34

I did say "preparation for school and adult life". For clarity, this did not mean that I believed that 9/10 year olds were starting work right now.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 17:37

Some great detective work there, I literally posted the fact that I don't think it is the end of the world or even unacceptable that children shriek occasionally. I have never come across children shrieking morning/noon and night but it seems the OP has say perhaps I don't really have a right to comment.

thecognoscenti · 27/06/2021 17:38

YANBU. Additional needs aside it's horrible. Not every kid who shrieks has SEN. Some just have parents who can't be bothered to stop them and don't care that other people (some of whom might have additional needs themselves) are being disturbed.

ViciousJackdaw · 27/06/2021 17:40

@Goldenbear I'm sorry, are you trying to be sarcastic there? It's just that finding the juvenile screech to be earsplitting isn't really an original opinion. Many people cannot abide it, as you will have already discovered. It has nothing to do with 'curtailing joy' and everything to do with the fact that high pitched squeals, screams and screeches are painful.

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 17:41

"There are different things in life that can upset a range of people but you cannot adjust your behaviour all the time."

Yes but you can show consideration for other people and not do things that you can easily not do when you know that doing them distresses others. I guarantee that there are things that my severely learning disabled teenage son might do if I always let him fully express himself that you wouldn't like being done around you.

qualitygirl · 27/06/2021 17:42

@Turkishangora some kids are just loud. My DS is ridiculously loud...I am CONSTANTLY telling him to pipe down. I have had his hearing tested, given him pep talks, tried reward charts, constantly saying inside voice please etc etc. Not a lot I can do unless you are suggesting I beat it out of him or sedate him??neither of which I will do of course. Hmm

singsingbluesilver · 27/06/2021 17:44

We have shriekers living close by. It does not help when their father chases them around the garden encouraging the shrieking. My two didn't shriek - and we didn't wind them up until they did. There are fewer noises worse.

godmum56 · 27/06/2021 17:47

[quote qualitygirl]@Turkishangora some kids are just loud. My DS is ridiculously loud...I am CONSTANTLY telling him to pipe down. I have had his hearing tested, given him pep talks, tried reward charts, constantly saying inside voice please etc etc. Not a lot I can do unless you are suggesting I beat it out of him or sedate him??neither of which I will do of course. Hmm[/quote]
singing? teaching him voice control? Because throughout life "just loud" is not going to cut it.

PurBal · 27/06/2021 17:47

I agree OP. My mum complained about her neighbours shrieking kids and I genuinely thought she was being oversensitive. I told her that they're just being kids. Then I stayed for a few weeks when I was moving house earlier this year. They'd come back from school and shriek so loudly I'd be on work calls and my colleagues could hear them even with double glazing. You couldn't use the garden at the weekend because it was relentless. That said, I don't think my mum is always that courteous. Neighbours can be irritating for all sorts of reasons.

godmum56 · 27/06/2021 17:49

@Goldenbear

Some great detective work there, I literally posted the fact that I don't think it is the end of the world or even unacceptable that children shriek occasionally. I have never come across children shrieking morning/noon and night but it seems the OP has say perhaps I don't really have a right to comment.
no you don't...its like don't knock it till you've tried it, only in this case its don't comment till you have experienced it.
WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 17:50

YANBU.

My garden is effectively unusable when one set of neighbours’ kids are in the garden. It’s constant screeching.

Even more annoyingly, the dad often chases them round as they scream!

WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 17:51

@singsingbluesilver

We have shriekers living close by. It does not help when their father chases them around the garden encouraging the shrieking. My two didn't shriek - and we didn't wind them up until they did. There are fewer noises worse.
@singsingbluesilver oh, maybe you live near me 😂
SuperCaliFragalistic · 27/06/2021 17:56

My friends kids (10 and 8) are just really really loud. Their normal voices are significantly louder than I am comfortable around. She watches me flinch when they scream in my face at the dinner table and doesn't care. She's not helping them in the long run to allow them to be so bloody anti-social.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 17:56

Is it as easy as that, I don't think so. I think it can be pretty harmless, especially if you are in your own home. There are scale of offensive things and people need to put it in perspective. Children aren't robots so I haven't programmed mine or indeed my DD's friends terms of expression. You cannot pre-empt these moments so what are you supposed to do. There are all sorts of behaviours I have seen in the general public that are far worse than the occasional shrieking but I have to accept it. I was at a farm play place yesterday and there was a particularly vicious Mum just been nasty with her mannerism and overly strict like she enjoyed dishing out her meanness- that offended me as it is not pleasant to be around but can I say anything? not really as really she was just a script, mean mum.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 17:56

Scrict not script

RickiTarr · 27/06/2021 17:57

Strict Grin

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 18:00

Oops, yes, that one.

Cherryberrybonbon · 27/06/2021 18:02

Lack of parenting LOL

It’s annoying as hell but my son who is 9 when he is over excited playing around in the garden will do this and I have to tell him he’s been annoying, he will stop when told but it doesn’t stop him losing control again if for instance he is squirted with a hose pipe etc…… it’s not a lack of parenting it’s kids enjoying themselves, I’m sure we’re on a post where all the mumsnetters kids are 100% perfect and never do anything wrong though so no doubt I will get the angry gang telling me I’m wrong Grin

Oblomov21 · 27/06/2021 18:06

I hate it. We have a caravan in Dorset and occasionally I hear girls, and it always is girls, shrieking from the swings / playground area, at the top of the field. I have twice considered walking up there and asking them not to!

vivainsomnia · 27/06/2021 18:09

I don't get it - what's the catch and joke about 'expressing themselves'. Yes, I like my children to express themselves and not in a fashion that I decide
So if my teenage kids decided to put rap music out loud in the garden, right next to your kids bedroom, and that woke them up 15 minutes after they'd gone to sleep, startled and they did this every evening, for 10 minutes oy every 20 minutes, waking up your kids every time, you obviously would be fine with me saying that listening and singing loudly to music when they are home from work makes them happy as it is their way to express themselves and you're just a kill joy if you can't just live with it?

The problem with people like you is that they will go on about their kids rights, however much it annoys others, but the moment the tables are turn, they are first ones to scream blue murder.

It is just self-centered attitude and believing that their needs should always everyone's else.

It's not even lazy parenting as it is for some but the genuine belief that only their kids matter and everyone else should put up with stress and anxiety as long as their kids are happy!