Kids that shriek?

[Turkishangora]

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

This thread is so incredibly thoughtless to parents who have DC with SEN/disabilities.

I'm lucky that DS (3) doesn't shriek, but I don't think it's my 'superior' parenting.

For many NT kids, you might be able to stop the shrieking through immense persistence, but there are far more kids with SEN out there than many folk seem to think.

Unless you're well acquainted with both the neurological status of the kids and the parenting style of the parents (I.e. you actually know them/socialise with them) then I'd let it slide.

Admittedly it's probably annoying, but have a bit of compassion for the many parents of kids with additional needs you'll have upset with your post.

There is a big difference between normal playing and excitement noises and screeching and shrieking. I have no issue with hearing kids playing outside and even sometimes shouting to each other, but constant ear splitting shrieking is horrible and they should be told not to if they do not have SN that cause this behaviour. It’s not about discouraging play or breaking their spirit, it’s about teaching your kids what is acceptable in public and to be considerate of other people - they need to understand this as a life skill.

No-one is talking about suppressing joy, just stopping ear splitting shrieks that shred your nerves whether they are from your own kids or others. Nothing is better than children’s laughter. Screams and shrieks are just unpleasant and SN issues aside, they should be reined in FFS.

@loopyapp

Let me pause in my day of absent parebtibg to applaud you on successfully repressing your children's happiness to cobforn to your ideal.

Punishing them for being happy and excited and conditioning them to restrain outward representation of their emotions sounds like a well balanced and child focused parenting method.

Personally I think I'll stick to allowing them small blocks of outside play during more neighbour friendly hours and not giving them a complex about how annoying they are when they're happy.

Literally cannot imagine anything sadder than a few kids playing in a pool or with a ball.. Quietly .. How utterly fecking joyless..

Oh and despite their noisy enjoyment of play they can sit respectfully in a restaurant, walk around a supermarket calmly or manage public transport without shrieking.. Funny how allowing them to express themselves appropriately means they can employ restraint when needed..

There’s a huge difference between exuberant play and shrieking. If you don’t teach your kids boundaries or how to be respectful of other people then I feel sorry for them. They’re going to grow up and be the person in the group that everyone is always sick of. If you live out in the middle of nowhere let the kids scream but if you have neighbours then I feel sorry for them. People working nights/twilight shifts obviously get no consideration from you.

"Admittedly it's probably annoying, but have a bit of compassion for the many parents of kids with additional needs you'll have upset with your post."

Remember there are some children with additional needs who find the sound of screeching and shrieking very distressing. This is why at ds's special school shrieking by those who have control over it, is discouraged including in the playground.

[quote Mumdiva99]@WorraLiberty drama llama? Hmmm I'm not the one having a strop over kids playing. I'm telling you all to take a chill pill and leave them be.[/quote]
Perhaps if you turn the drama down a tad, you can concentrate on reading the actual thread. Then you'd realise there was no need for your work of fiction?

You are being unreasonable to think it's always down to parenting, not unreasonable to find it annoying.

[quote candyflossss]**@XioXio* @WorraLiberty*

who says she was never told to stop? she is one of the loudest people I have ever met. she is told to turn it down all the time. she does for a few minutes and then it's like it goes out of the window. she is just very loud, she always says sorry when she is told to stop. I dont think she means to.

I love when other people on here tell others how to parent as if the thought of simply telling her to stop never occurred to my mum who btw, is a fabulous parent and my sisters loudness is no reflection on her at all - my sister is lovely actually and well behaved generally. she is just very vocal![/quote]
who says she was never told to stop?

I dunno but it certainly wasn't me...

@Rabbitheadlights

YABVU ... Some kids shriek my DS is autistic and has sensory processing disorder shrieking is one of the things he does to self regulate. You have no idea of other people's circumstances keep your opinions to yourself and watch for the ledge on that pedastal I suspect you will fall with an almighty bump when one of your perfectly well behaved children mess up.

No need to be bitter and bitchy. OP, I can't bear shrieking kids either!

@WorraLiberty was certainly implied.

anyway, wasnt to get into a debate but you both quoted my comment and I'm just saying it isnt anything to do with my mums parenting as we were all brought up the same and very much to do with my sisters character - she is very vocal at times.

My 3 year olds natural speaking voice is REALLY loud. Drives me insane as I am very intolerant of loud noises. My 6 year old operates at a normal volume. Other than to remind her to speak in a normal voice not sure what else one is meant to do? Thankfully she doesn't shriek but she is loud

I have neighbours with 3 primary age children, can hardly hear them when they are outside. Next door to them are 2 children (one primary, one secondary) who alternate between shrieking and shouting all bloody day. The dad comes outside and basically shouts every single bloody word he says.
I actually know them, there’s no SN, they are generally very inconsiderate people anyway. Their neighbour told me it also is the same in the house and she can hear it through the walls from 6am, so should be pleased I don’t live next to them.

Oh man. It's breaking their spirit to teach a NT child that prolonged screaming and screeching is not on? That's hilarious!

@Twinsmum2003

No-one is talking about suppressing joy, just stopping ear splitting shrieks that shred your nerves whether they are from your own kids or others. Nothing is better than children’s laughter. Screams and shrieks are just unpleasant and SN issues aside, they should be reined in FFS.

I know, I'd like to say I'm surprised that isn't painstakingly obvious but reading the replies, it seems that to a minority on this thread it isn't.

I can't imagine how home schooling went during lockdown, if reading and comprehension is that bad.

Still, bonus points for some of the creative writing in some of the replies.

@Spikeyball absolutely. My dd has SN and has always been very sensitive to loud noises - she would become very distressed if another child shrieked near her. Other parents who commented on how sensitive she was weren't wrong, but it would have been appreciated if they'd have also told their dc's to tone down the shrieking, rather than smiling indulgently

One of my dc teens shrieks a lot, she does have asd though. However it is disturbing and annoying. Trying to train her to not do it.,

YANBU I cannot stand it and mine doesn't do it

Have another read of my post and try again.

I live in a very close knit street and I know all my neighbours very well. I did say they get small blocks of outdoor play during neighbor friendly time.

I also clearly stated that they manage public spaces just fine without any carrying on because they are permitted healthy outlets of their emotions without being told they're an inconvenience!

I feel enormously sorry for any child that is repeatedly told to "be quiet" and admonished to their room or denied privilages because keeping up appearances is more important to their highly strung and rigid parents.

My niece and nephew, neuro-typical kids, shrieked constantly and I found it completely stressful, as did my kids (who were each one year younger than their cousins). Their parents never said boo to them about it, it wasn’t a priority to them. I think (when not SN) it’s nature and nurture.

I think it's actually got worse. If a child has a health issue that is the reason for the screaming, of course that is completely different. When I was younger and of course being a child myself, it was only toddlers that engaged in this behaviour. Nowadays I cannot count the amount of times I'm in cafe or restaurant and there is always, without fail a screaming child, but what is surprising is it's not toddlers. Im talking 8, 9 and 10 year olds who ( unless the children have health/spectrum issues) are usually well past this stage. Im sorry but I cannot stand that high- pitched screaming. I never let my own two away with it and glad to say my grandchild very rarely does it. Babies and toddlers scream and I do make allowances that at times it can be very difficult to calm children down.

Kids shrieking is very hard on the nerves,but the worse is by far their parents who don't care and think it's their right to do so.

Last year my nerves were tested so badly, kids in the garden, shrieking, screaming, fighting for hours on hands, no parent to be seen, I finally snapped and asked them to keep down. Firm voice but not shouting.

They ran inside the house and came the mother, a rare sight, who want on to tell me not to speak to her kids. I calmly said that it me very anxious to listen to her kids shrieking as it made my heart rate go up every time. She responded with a few F words the sane than some parents here have that their kids were entitled to have fun, be as loud as it makes them happy, and if I didn't like it, it was tough. I dreaded the nice days again, but amazingly, one day I came home from work and they were gone. A new family came, two kids, who also e joy the nice garden. They laugh, have fun, but don't scream and shout. They are lovely. Completely different experience.

YANBU.

As a parent with autism I can not cope with screeching. Just cannot cope with it. So there is zero tolerance for screeching in my family. All my children tried screeching but were taught not to, you know to be tolerant of other people.

I once went to the supermarket and there was a child there screeching. I could barely finish the shop and had to spend the rest of the day in my bed because of the sensory overload. I didn't know if the child had SN or not, it didn't particularly matter as the result to me was the same.

If you have a screecher, for whatever reason. I think it's only kind to be aware of the affect their behaviour has on others. So yes, you don't leave them to play out in the garden all day everyday if they're continually screaming!

I feel enormously sorry for any child that is repeatedly told to "be quiet"
I never told my kids to keep quiet but to take it down one or two levels.

I also taught them that their joy, happiness and fun are not more worthy than anyone else, ie. that consideration for others go a long way.

The selfishness of some people is unbelievable.

I’m a teacher (and I used to teach eyfs) so I’m essentially desensitised to children screaming in work hours. My classroom is right on the playground so I get a couple of hours of children screaming outside my windows while I’m trying to teach a bunch of ten year olds how to multiply fractions.
I can just about deal with it in work and then when I leave work I can’t even have the radio on in the car because I feel so “noised out”. The sound of children shrieking would probably finish me off.
I think it’s plain for anyone to see that there’s a difference between a child with SEN shrieking and one who is just being noisy.

Mine play loudly, which sometimes involves shrieking. It is what it is, tbh. One has ADHD, but the other doesn't, so can't even blame it on that!!