Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids that shriek?

285 replies

Turkishangora · 27/06/2021 12:53

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

OP posts:
irresistibleoverwhelm · 27/06/2021 14:04

Yanbu OP — DD is 8 and it seems to be a real thing with girls around that age. I just can’t bear the shrieking and DD gets a good telling off if she does it (she still does though - and lots of her friends are worse). 😬

There are girls age 9 and 12 next door to my parents and they make DD look like a mouse in comparison - the constant loud shrieking in the garden could split your ears! I absolutely hate it and it’s so antisocial for their parents not to at least try to ask them to quieten down.

WorraLiberty · 27/06/2021 14:04

@candyflossss

just one of those things I think.

my two sisters have been brought up exactly the same (8 and 10) one of them has always been really loud and shrieks, the other is very quiet.

Is it just one of those things or was your shrieking sister never taught/made to stop?
cherrybonbons · 27/06/2021 14:14

The judgemental part when it comes from saying it's totally down to a lack of parenting.
Which is ridiculous.
Btw my daughter may or may not have autism. Her teacher says yes. Many others say no. She's hard work though. And shrieks. And it's difficult and sometimes I feel like crying. But please don't use my child shrieking as a way to pat yourself on the back for what a wonderful parent you are because your child doesn't shriek. Or what a terrible parent I am because my child does.

My son is quiet as anything by the way. I shall be claiming full parental credit for that.

NewLifeInTheSouth · 27/06/2021 14:16

I have one autistic DC who, when he's feeling overwhelmed, hates shrieking and a too-loud shriek can reduce him to tears

I feel like that too and I am neurotypical.

XioXio · 27/06/2021 14:16

@cherrybonbons

The judgemental part when it comes from saying it's totally down to a lack of parenting. Which is ridiculous. Btw my daughter may or may not have autism. Her teacher says yes. Many others say no. She's hard work though. And shrieks. And it's difficult and sometimes I feel like crying. But please don't use my child shrieking as a way to pat yourself on the back for what a wonderful parent you are because your child doesn't shriek. Or what a terrible parent I am because my child does.

My son is quiet as anything by the way. I shall be claiming full parental credit for that.

No, not judgemental. Did you read the thread before replying? Your child (probably) has sn. OP and other PP have quite clearly said the issue is with children without special needs.
UhtredRagnarson · 27/06/2021 14:17

I don’t think anyone is saying that not teaching your child not to shriek makes anyone a terrible parent. Terrible parents abuse and neglect their children. Forgetting to teach them about appropriate volumes isn’t anywhere near that.

Pinkandpink · 27/06/2021 14:18

Come on no one is talking about kids with disabilities. We are talking about kids shrieking , annoying high pitch screaming. Any sensible parent would bring their child in or tell them to stop it. Any parent who deliberately lets their kids do this are idiots

Pinkandpink · 27/06/2021 14:18

Oh and I have two and they would be told of for doing this when younger

SimonJT · 27/06/2021 14:19

Mine does, its an anxiety thing due to having attachment difficulties, he is also hearing impaired, so he doesn’t even get to listen to the full force of it.

Funnily enough good parenting does delete trauma.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 27/06/2021 14:22

Absolutely cannot stand kids shrieking.

somewheresorted · 27/06/2021 14:23

I know 2 shriekers that totally ruin the peace for everyone - in this case it comes from having a parent that is somewhat of a shrieker themselves and unable to discipline without shouty arguments. No surprise really…

PumpkinKlNG · 27/06/2021 14:23

How does the op know the child doesn’t have SN? My child has autism and none of my neighbours would know, I haven’t told them because it’s none of their business.

CrazyCatsAndKittens · 27/06/2021 14:24

My neighbor’s daughter is a shrieker. I just ignore it, same as I ignore another neighbor’s dog barking and another neighbor’s elderly mum who listens to the TV loud with the window open. It’s just life noises that you get living around other people. No point in getting wound up over it.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 27/06/2021 14:25

I can't even get on a bus though with my ASD son incase children are loud so tend to taxi everywhere and I think my tolerance of noise has gone as it seems so painful to the ears now.

UpSlyDown · 27/06/2021 14:26

YANBU but my DD (only a toddler) is going through a shrieking phase and it’s.killing.me. It hurts my ears I feel terrible for the neighbours and I have no patience. My eldest went through it and came out the other side (although does talk very loudly especially over the screaming toddler). I don’t think it’s acceptable once school age and I would always tell mine off for mindless screaming. However it’s hard nowadays you aren’t allowed to interrupt childrens creativity or tell them off for anything so…

chickenyhead · 27/06/2021 14:26

My eldest 2 don't shriek, never really have. They have their moments but are mostly reasonable.

My third (AND FINAL) is a whole different story. From a very young age she has been contrary. I manage it as I did the other two, but I will not break her spirit or persecute her for her natural exuberance.

They have wildly different personalities and I love each one because of those very differences. I do not want 3 little automatons.

It is hard work and if she had been first, I wouldn't have had another. But as an adult she will be fiercely independent and strong. Can't wait for the teenage years.

Also I must add that children go through stages and parents try different methods of managing behaviour. With my eldest 2 we ignored tantrums and they quickly stopped. With my third, they escalated when blanked, to the point of the neighbours calling the police because the thought I was murdering her (longstanding neighbour issues, two sided).

What I am saying is that controlling an individual human being 24/7 is hard work and in their own home they are likely to let off the steam they hold in everywhere else they go.

This said, I wouldn't take mine to a restaurant etc unless I could guarantee good behaviour.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/06/2021 14:27

Children with SEN aside, I agree with OP. I don't mind the noise or the normal shouting/yelling that goes on with children playing. But the intentional screaming is just too much.

We recently returned from a camping trip to Disney World. Two sites over was a family group with two little girls who thought it the height of hilarity to have 'screaming contests'. They'd stand facing each other and take turns emitting ear piercing shrieks to (apparently) see who could scream the loudest. No one on that campsite batted an eyelash, in fact at one point they applauded and judged who was loudest! Eventually someone must have called the reception outpost because a CM was dispatched to ask them nicely to pipe down as they were disturbing other guests. To their credit the family did comply and other than normal play noise the two little girls were kept quiet.

purrswhileheeats · 27/06/2021 14:29

I have a friend who shrieks when she stays with me; I have to tell her to STFU. She's not autistic, just a selfish gobby cow Hmm

safariboot · 27/06/2021 14:29

YANBU. When I was their age if I had shrieked and screamed like that I would have been told off.

Though when I was that age or a little older it seemed like the done thing by other parents (though not my own) was to let children run around everywhere. "No running indoors" was the rule I was told but not others it seemed like.

Mumdiva99 · 27/06/2021 14:30

Omg....this is one of the few times I read MN and think WTAF!!! Kids are shrieking in the garden and there is outrage. Seriously. One person is moaning because the dad is out with the kids playing noisy games.

Do I live in an alternate universe. Don't we all want to encourage kids outdoors to play, let of steam and be kids.

Oh no....we should be supressing their natural exuberance. Control those children who are having fun. Stop the play. And god forbid if adults actually encourage it. Don't forget children should be seen and not heard......

XioXio · 27/06/2021 14:33

@Mumdiva99

Omg....this is one of the few times I read MN and think WTAF!!! Kids are shrieking in the garden and there is outrage. Seriously. One person is moaning because the dad is out with the kids playing noisy games.

Do I live in an alternate universe. Don't we all want to encourage kids outdoors to play, let of steam and be kids.

Oh no....we should be supressing their natural exuberance. Control those children who are having fun. Stop the play. And god forbid if adults actually encourage it. Don't forget children should be seen and not heard......

I can only assume you haven't been unfortunate enough to live next to shreikers and have only witnessed general children playing outdoors noise.
WorraLiberty · 27/06/2021 14:33

@Mumdiva99

Omg....this is one of the few times I read MN and think WTAF!!! Kids are shrieking in the garden and there is outrage. Seriously. One person is moaning because the dad is out with the kids playing noisy games.

Do I live in an alternate universe. Don't we all want to encourage kids outdoors to play, let of steam and be kids.

Oh no....we should be supressing their natural exuberance. Control those children who are having fun. Stop the play. And god forbid if adults actually encourage it. Don't forget children should be seen and not heard......

Own up. Who put 50 pence in the drama llama? 🙄🙄
Cam2020 · 27/06/2021 14:35

Mine is a shrieker when she gets excited and carried away.

There's a fine line between teaching a child what is acceptable and completely squashing their personalities. I usually use the mock shock/horror act in a jokey way to draw her attention to her noise levels and she stops. She's generally an obedient kid thpufh who wants to do the right thing, she just gets excited and carried away.

cabingirl · 27/06/2021 14:36

It's also a bit subjective - one person's happy children noise is another person's nightmare. And some people are much more sensitive to noise than others.

BojackHorsewoman · 27/06/2021 14:38

SEN aside, YANBU.

There is a secondary school beside my house and there is one child there (so obviously 11+) who shrieks as if she is being murdered. I don't know who is she or is there are any SEN, so no judgement etc, but my God, it's awful to have to listen to. It's when they're playing games at lunch or during PE and she's shouting for her teammates or whatever.

I have 6 & 3 year old and yes, they sometimes shout out or want to do silly screams for some reason, but I don't let them, because it's awful to listen to.