Kids that shriek?

[Turkishangora]

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

It is just terrible parenting in my opinion. Sensory problems or not it can be nipped in the bud

@loopyapp

Have another read of my post and try again.

I live in a very close knit street and I know all my neighbours very well. I did say they get small blocks of outdoor play during neighbor friendly time.

I also clearly stated that they manage public spaces just fine without any carrying on because they are permitted healthy outlets of their emotions without being told they're an inconvenience!

I feel enormously sorry for any child that is repeatedly told to "be quiet" and admonished to their room or denied privilages because keeping up appearances is more important to their highly strung and rigid parents.

And again, you are suggesting those who don’t want to put up with shrieking and screaming are crushing their children’s spirits and trying to keep up appearances with their robot children but that wasn’t what OP and many others are trying to say. Laughter, giggles and yells of excitement are delightful and I could listen to them all day long. Screeching is like fingernails down a blackboard, so while I want my children to be happy, they learned that screeching isn’t okay, in the same way that biting, hitting and destructive behaviour isn’t. I’m not sure why you have gone straight to insinuating that you want your children to be happier than other parents do?

I do find that one person's interpretation of shrieking can be different to another's. My child giggling, literally giggling, enrages my neighbour hugely. We only let her out there for a few (separate) hours a day during weekends. It just isn't worth the aggro.

YABU. You don't what's wrong with a child. I'm delighted your kids are perfect little Saints and enjoy the smugness but You don't know how your own are going turn out in 10 or 15 years into the future.

@vivainsomnia

I feel enormously sorry for any child that is repeatedly told to "be quiet" I never told my kids to keep quiet but to take it down one or two levels.

I also taught them that their joy, happiness and fun are not more worthy than anyone else, ie. that consideration for others go a long way.

The selfishness of some people is unbelievable.

The lack of ability to actually read everything I said or decision to cherry pick what suits you adequately makes my point.

I clearly stated, three times now, that my children are considerate of their neighbours by adhering to the play schedule we agreed on that minimises interruption of the adult neighbours without need to nag happy children to "take it down one or two levels".

That said I would rather a load of uptight strangers online think I'm selfish than my children paranoid about having fun!!!

@MissMissTorrance

Dd's friend (10) is a shrieker and I've had to tell DD she is not allowed to invite her into the house anymore as she frightens our dog and makes me feel very anxious. I've also stopped inviting this particular friend on trips out to the park/shops with us as it's just too much. I've asked her to quieten down a bit, as has my DD ( who isn't a shrieker) but a couple of minutes later she's at it again.

Sensory conditions aside, that really isn't normal at 10 years old! They'll be starting senior school next year.

I can't bear it.

Sadly, there are too many lazy parents around.

The ones who pretend that "kids need to have fun" and its not possible to enjoy yourself without shrieking.

Most of us manage to have children enjoying garden, parks, anything without ridiculous amount of noise though. It's not just adults who are bothered, it's other children too! Parks, beaches, playgrounds, parties.. all full of children having fun, only a couple shrieking and smug lazy parents thinking everybody else is enjoying the show.

Pretending that the only choices are silent repressed bored children or feral ones is ridiculous.

You are not doing your children any favour whatsoever when you don't bother to set up a few easy rules.

Same parents who want their little darlings to "express themselves" and let them jump on people's furniture, scribble on walls... Lazy parenting at its best.

you can repeatedly tell a child to be quiet/keep the level down all you want - if they are loud then they are naturally loud. like I said my sister is generally well behaved in all other aspects, does well in school and is charming (albeit a little cheeky at times!) but she does operate a good decimal above the rest of our family.

that's nothing to do with lazy parenting - she gets told all the time, asked to come in when shes getting too much. she remembers to keep it down for all of a few minutes and then gets excited all over again. in comparison me and my other sister are a lot more shy in real life than she is.

I would hate if she was constantly punished though for being who she is. I acknowledge some people really cannot tolerate it but I think some people genuinely are just a lot louder.

vivainsomnia, I would have been tempted to hang over the fence and shriek full volume at the mother. And at the kids every time they did. It might have given them a moment of pause and it would certainly have been therapeutic for you.

I don't mind children squealing with delight or shrieking with fun but I really object to constant screaming.
I have neighbours whose two delightful, junior age children scream... all the time... constantly.
Only respite is during school hours.
Neighbours feel the same. We daren't say anything for fear of nastiness.
Interesting that the children are outside yet both back doors are shut and no adult outside.
Even their poor dog is outside, all the time, just barking and whining.
Pisses me off and our neighbours.

And no... no SEN.

YABU, we are not all the same! Some children are more animated than others, that's personality. My DD and her friends who are 9/10 tend to shriek quite a bit when together, her 14 year old brother finds it amusing and irritating but unless it is ridiculous I don't think it should be controlled.

iwantadog, have you tried whispering games with your 3yo? You can download various volume monitoring apps, too, with fun graphics where you can show her how loud your voice and her sibling's and her own are and let her play around with finding a level.

Is she struggling with her hearing at all? Or is she struggling to be heard through family conversations? Shouting children often seem to come from talkative families where they struggle to get a word in. As the youngest, she might be strategising the shouting just to get her share of airtime. She's old enough to ask, I'd say.

You'll never have to worry about her not speaking up for herself, though!

IMO there is a world of difference between happy excited fun, which can be a bit noisy and shrieking.

Shrieking is something else entirely and it's about being just noisy.

Laughi g and having great fun doesn't involve non stop shrieking in my experience.

I have no problem with one but the other is intolerable and goes through me.

'Lazy parenting'?? No just not micro managing parent! That's the way my DD and her friends tend to expres their feelings of happiness, I wouldn't curtail that as it is momentary and actually lovely to see that level of joy over not much, there's an innocence to it which I think is beautiful.

Yanbu op.

My cousin's kids come visit during the day sometimes when I'm working because my nan is off work and we live together.

They're shriekers and it's made working from home unbearable but I'm just not in a position to go back into the office.

Also the sound of shrieking kids makes my ovaries shrivel.

see? Didn't take long about the "expressing themselves" bollocks .

They ALL express themselves. Shrieking and screaming is really not necessary. It's hardly a sign of happiness either, it sounds too hysterical to be healthy.

But lazy parents can't be bothered, it's a shame.

I don't get it - what's the catch and joke about 'expressing themselves'. Yes, I like my children to express themselves and not in a fashion that I decide.

Far from 'lazy parent', I actually think it's harder on a parent to advocate this type of parenting as it is mocked quite a bit and uptight parents tend to hate that you don't control your children in every aspect of their lives.

My DD and her friends are most certainly happy when this happens as it is expression of joy that can't be articulated with words, the joy is beyond words. I'm sure they will grow out of it but in the mean time yes, they are expressing who they are.

What about the upset it causes other children?

lol it’s clear on here which parents have the shriekers !! How ridiculous to say it’s breaking their spirit by not allowing them to shriek like banshees annoying everyone around them? Playing and laughter is lovely, sn aside there is zero need for shrieking snd squealing!

Expressing yourself is wonderful, until it encroaches on other people to an unacceptable extent. So, children giggling, squealing occasionally, chattering, sometimes crying because they're upset, all those normal noises are what you expect living with or near children. But screaming as if you have been stabbed is not what people expect to hear for a significant portion of the day with children nearby. Of course SEN is different or someone screaming because they're genuinely terrified. But when children include full blown screaming as part of their daily playtime, it is inconsiderate parenting not to even attempt to encourage them to rein it in. That isn't proactive parenting. And parents who don't allow it aren't controlling "everything their DC does" or "uptight". There are many aspects of play parents obviously don't have any involvement with, but when it becomes dangerous (eg jumping on someone's head) or bothers most other people who happen to be in the vicinity, yes, for me, then it's time to get involved.

All of the kids shrieking aren't autistic, have tourettes or other neuro divesity. Sorry but they just aren't.

So yes that might be your individual circumstances, but come on they aren't the circumstances of every child.