To be massively offended by this?

[jonesome]

Family holiday with my partner and our kids for the first time (live in the US so can travel to another state for trips).

He has 3 kids, I have 2. We have separate hotel rooms on the same hotel complex.

Completely unexpectedly we got 3 hours without the any of kids yesterday after the stars aligned.

Told him to text me as soon as he got his kids settled at their activity.

Obviously quite excited for some alone time.

Almost three hours later I'd heard nothing from him. Then 10 mins before the kids were all returning, he text to ask where I fancied meeting with the kids for dinner later.

When I asked what he'd been up to he said he'd had a lovely 3 hours. Hot tub, went for a nice walk, read his book.

We went on to have a perfectly lovely evening together with the kids but no mention of the fact he just disappeared during our 'free' time and didn't contact me.

Am I being unreasonable to be super offended? Can't decide whether it's worth saying something to him or if I'm being high maintenance.

sorry but it sounds like your handy as you have DC and they can entertain each other. Even after 20yrs if me and my other half got a few hours without kids we woul make the most of it together.

I do think what you said could be misinterpreted. I do find it strange that he didn't try his luck all the same though - I know my partner must definitely would have at that stage of our relationship. Was there any chance either set of kids might of decided to return to your rooms? He might feel, when he is with his kids, they have to be his focus. Part time dad guilt or something.

Surely you would voice those concerns to a partner though? You wouldn't just wait in your room, alone, for an emergency to occur?

I suspect he went back to his room, put the TV on, lay on the bed then fell asleep. Then was too embarrassed to tell you, and is trying to style it out by pretending he had a jolly time on his own.

[quote SleepingStandingUp]@jonesome did you sit in your room for 3 hours waiting for him?[/quote]
No, I went off and sunbathed and read a bit too (in a different area to where he was).

I didn't message him though because instinctively something felt off.

I was right. I raised it with him this morning and most of the assumptions here were correct and ultimately we have split up. He wasn't really feeling it.

Thankfully this resort is huge and I'm ok with having time with my kids and the holiday is nearly over.

It was all very amicable but not quite how I wanted this trip to go!

At least you have an answer. Be kind to yourself. Do something as a nice treat with your kids before you return home?

Often that little voice in your head that thinks something is a bit off is correct! Shame but no reflection on you. Onwards and upwards - hope you have a good rest of your holiday.

Sorry Op
I hope you enjoy the rest of your time away.

Sorry to hear that op - he is entitled to end the relationship but only a complete arse wipe would wait until you'd gone on holiday together to do it

Sorry to hear that OP. Glad he has told you the truth at least. Hope you are ok and not too upset. Try and enjoy your holiday still xx

Wow
What a prince eh - behave like a selfish twat then break up on HOLIDAY!!!
Sorry you're sad but you're well rid

Probably wanted some alone time. I would if saddled with 5 kids.

You are on holiday and he wanted some time to himself, simples.

Not a big deal, end of story.

People, you might want to read the update before jumping in to say your piece.

Sorry it turned out you were right, OP. Hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday.

@jonesome

OP I am so sorry.. I never realised he had engineered avoiding you..

Sorry again 🌸

He's a massive twat because he would gave known his feelings before you went on holiday

Bit of a ahock. Hope you're ok. Xx

What a bellend he is and what a lucky escape for you! Anyone who forces a confrontation like this instead of being up front is someone you can easily wave goodbye to - he's a coward.

Unfortunate for the kids though
One minute with the other family
The next - nope, you can’t see them again.

Bit of twat OP.

Better to know.

Try and relax and enjoy the last few days.

Mind yourself.

I literally cannot believe he did this whilst you were all on holiday together.. shocking

Exactly how stupid are some men married to women on this thread that they wouldn’t be able to interpret what OP meant as “let’s spend some time together and have sex?” In light of OP’s last update makes me a bit worried for those relationships tbh.

@jonesome sorry he turned out to be a knob. Hope it hasn’t soured the rest of your holiday too much.

@JackieTheFart

Exactly how stupid are some men married to women on this thread that they wouldn’t be able to interpret what OP meant as “let’s spend some time together and have sex?” In light of OP’s last update makes me a bit worried for those relationships tbh.

@jonesome sorry he turned out to be a knob. Hope it hasn’t soured the rest of your holiday too much.

Exactly. And he did hence why he didn't contact her.

But some will blame the OP no matter what they have said or done. The joys of Mumsnet!

Wow... that's horrible, I'm sorry it turned out that way OP 🙁

@jonesome Blimey, that was a quick break up! Just like that!

You are better off without him though, and you don't seem TOO bothered. Maybe on some level, you knew it wasn't working...

Take some time out for you and your children now. Don't replace him ASAP like some women do.

Unfortunately, some women have this 'any man is better than no man' thing going on, and as soon as one man goes out the back door, one comes in the front. Hugely unfair on the children. and a toxic and unhealthy way to live your life.

Good luck to you.