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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be saddened but unsurprised by Britney Spears' testimony?

348 replies

plodalong12 · 24/06/2021 11:31

Listening to this and hearing Britney talk about the control of her father reminded me of watching the documentary Amy and I feel the same sort of Mitch Winehouse/Amy Winehouse vibe and we all know how that ended.

Someone is either too mentally ill to be in control of their own life or they are deemed well enough to be a judge on The X Factor, do a four-year Vegas live show followed immediately by a world tour. It can't be both.

"I haven't done anything in the world to deserve this treatment. It's not okay to force me to do anything I don't want to do"

OP posts:
Member984815 · 24/06/2021 11:35

She sounded so in control giving that testimony and not at all like her insta vids

ChainJane · 24/06/2021 11:37

I don't think the Winehouse comparison is fair. Her father was involved in her life more than one might normally expect, but it seemed like he was doing it for the right reasons.

In the Spears case it feels like the father is in it for the money and he is putting his comfort above his daughter's.

romdowa · 24/06/2021 11:40

It frightens me that an adult can have such court ordered control over another adult and I often wonder Brittany was a man, would this arrangement have ever been made in the first place.

Pedalpushers · 24/06/2021 11:42

Forcing her on stage when ill, giving her lithium which is a hardcore drug with serious side effects when there's no medical records to support doing so, forcing her into a rehab institution when she refused to follow orders, refusing to allow her to remove her IUD...and not only is she paying them huge amounts for all of this, these abusers can object to ending the conservatorship and their word will carry more weight than hers. The legal system that allows this to happen is corrupt to its very core.

FlowerArranger · 24/06/2021 11:43

It frightens me that an adult can have such court ordered control over another adult and I often wonder Brittany was a man, would this arrangement have ever been made in the first place

I was going to say this. It's totally absurd and horrific that something like this is even possible, particularly since it has gone on so long.

Ohmygoshandfolly · 24/06/2021 11:46

I can’t see the Winehouse comparison personally. I think Mitch doted on Amy and wanted the best for her, he tried and failed to protect her and I can’t imagine how difficult that is as a parent.

I feel sorry for Britney, it’s surely illegal to force birth control on any woman.

plodalong12 · 24/06/2021 11:49

@ChainJane Perhaps it was unfair to make that comparison, and I didn't mean in no way it was the same sort of level of control. I do remember Amy clearly not wanting to do something/perform and her father insisting on it even when she was breaking down almost to tears. But it's not on the same level, nowhere near, you're right.

OP posts:
BronwenFrideswide · 24/06/2021 11:51

It's state enforced control of an adult, it's horrifying. Britney is an adult if she chooses to make bad decisions that's her right to do so.

This is really concerning and in a so-called liberal, progressive, free democracy which holds itself up as a beacon and example for the rest f the world to follow.

Mrgrinch · 24/06/2021 11:52

I really hope she is granted her freedom.

Passthewinebottle · 24/06/2021 11:53

I was shocked to hear about her having had an IUD put in, & now cannot have it removed without her conservators consent. Vile beyond belief.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 24/06/2021 11:57

I’m really torn on this. I don’t think the public can have an opinion without access to her medical history; which understandably won’t be released.

My mother had bipolar. She had very bad meltdowns, would be stabilised in a psychiatric institution and then released on Lithium… and she’d tell anyone who would listen, competently and coherently; that she was being drugged by force and made to have therapy. It was what kept her stable. She’d take herself off the meds, and then end up having another psychotic episode. She wasn’t forced on birth control but it went to court a few times and as one of four kids; I wish she had of been.

I’m not saying that Britney has this - I have no idea - but it’s not uncommon behaviour amongst people with BPD.

Maybe her dad is an absolute arsehole, and maybe she should be totally released, but I don’t think we can make that call. I hope the judge can.

Ellpellwood · 24/06/2021 11:58

I genuinely don't understand how these things work but it seems insane that she would basically have to be assessed out of her father's control when he should never have been able to do half of this shit in the first place. She's only asking for a different conservator as well!

BastardGoDarkly · 24/06/2021 12:01

I dont see how shes so different than any other 'star' thats had mental health crisis, there's literally loads.

Shes more than capable of managing her own life and money.

I really hope the powers that be give her her life back.

Demelza82 · 24/06/2021 12:03

@Ohmygoshandfolly

I can’t see the Winehouse comparison personally. I think Mitch doted on Amy and wanted the best for her, he tried and failed to protect her and I can’t imagine how difficult that is as a parent.

I feel sorry for Britney, it’s surely illegal to force birth control on any woman.

We all have short memories don't we? Mitch was constantly putting himself on TV chatshows divulging personal information about Amy at the time and using them to flog his own shitty music. Her mother was weak as piss as well. That said I do think they cared about Amy and that's why it's completely different to the Britney situation
Chailatteplease · 24/06/2021 12:12

@TakeYourFinalPosition

I’m really torn on this. I don’t think the public can have an opinion without access to her medical history; which understandably won’t be released.

My mother had bipolar. She had very bad meltdowns, would be stabilised in a psychiatric institution and then released on Lithium… and she’d tell anyone who would listen, competently and coherently; that she was being drugged by force and made to have therapy. It was what kept her stable. She’d take herself off the meds, and then end up having another psychotic episode. She wasn’t forced on birth control but it went to court a few times and as one of four kids; I wish she had of been.

I’m not saying that Britney has this - I have no idea - but it’s not uncommon behaviour amongst people with BPD.

Maybe her dad is an absolute arsehole, and maybe she should be totally released, but I don’t think we can make that call. I hope the judge can.

BPD and bipolar are too different conditions.
Chailatteplease · 24/06/2021 12:12

*two 🤦‍♀️

pooroldtiredmummy · 24/06/2021 12:15

The Britney testimony is shocking.

@Demelza82 I think it's really horrible of you to call Amy's mum 'weak as piss' when she is disabled and has MS, which is well-documented in the press.

She wrote a book after Amy's death where she shared that she did loads to try to help Amy, including went to Al-Anon. She didn't speak about Amy in the media because her ex-husband was all over the show and she didn't think that was helpful to add to it.

theemmadilemma · 24/06/2021 12:20

I'm so pleased she's now had her say, that it is now confirmed how abhorrent what has been happening to her. I hope something is done and fast. It is without a doubt hoffic abuse.

TurquoiseLemur · 24/06/2021 12:22

@ChainJane

I don't think the Winehouse comparison is fair. Her father was involved in her life more than one might normally expect, but it seemed like he was doing it for the right reasons.

In the Spears case it feels like the father is in it for the money and he is putting his comfort above his daughter's.

Didn't Mitch Winehouse, following the separation with Amy's mother, move away (only to another part of London) and more or less lose contact with his children? Out of choice, not necessity.

He only came back on the scene much later, when it was obvious that his daughter was a talented singer and that she could get a good record deal.

Awalkintime · 24/06/2021 12:25

I think psychiatry is abusive and that all the labels - bipolar, PBD is all crap and they're all labels for women who have suffered trauma. They're doped up and the trauma never dealt with.

There is a new book by Dr Jessica Taylor called Sexy by Psycho which is all about how psychiatrists label women as mentally unwell when they are not.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 24/06/2021 12:27

@Chailatteplease Sorry about that. It's been a while - my mum died when I was 12 - and back then bipolar was shortened to BPD. I forget that typically BPD now refers to Borderline Personality Disorder instead. My mistake.

Hopefully that doesn't negate the entire post.

BarbarianMum · 24/06/2021 12:29

You think that all bipolar disorder is the result of abuse @Awalkintime? Is there any research to support that?

thereisnohelp · 24/06/2021 12:31

@Awalkintime

I think psychiatry is abusive and that all the labels - bipolar, PBD is all crap and they're all labels for women who have suffered trauma. They're doped up and the trauma never dealt with.

There is a new book by Dr Jessica Taylor called Sexy by Psycho which is all about how psychiatrists label women as mentally unwell when they are not.

THIS! I've been saying this for years and years. What appears mental illness is often (not always) mental injury. The way people talk about psychiatric diagnoses as if they are actual quantifiable things is a testament to the power of psychiatry. The man who started the DSM was obsessed with categorising. Even a trauma expert (may have been Kluft?) stated that the DSM was simply a list of descriptions but now people think these 'illnesses' actually exist!
thereisnohelp · 24/06/2021 12:33

I would like to add that I am not denying the symptoms or the lived experience or distress doesn't exist, just the way we are framing it is often perpetuating an abusive dynamic.

WildWestWanda · 24/06/2021 12:33

@Awalkintime as someone with bipolar disorder I couldn’t disagree more.

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