3 Year Old going downstairs alone.

[blaisealex]

DS 3, for the past two mornings, has ventured downstairs alone when he wakes up.

I'm just wondering how old your DC were when they started going downstairs alone?

I'm not happy about it. We don't allow DS to use the stairs unsupervised nor be downstairs or upstairs by himself. But he's creeping downstairs first thing when he wakes up and we don't hear him. Prior to this he would come to our room and wake us up. He is no longer doing this.

I'm not sure what I can do to stop him? Of course, I can tell him not to but whether he listens or not is another matter. I can't set an alarm to wake before him because he doesn't wake at a set time. He could wake at any time. He can now open all the stair gates so those don't work anymore.

I should add, he is only just turned three. By a few weeks.

Am I being too protective or am I right that this is a definite no no?

I don’t supervise my 3yo on the stairs either, but 3yos and staircases can all be different so I’m not surprised that some people feel they need to continue to supervise. I stopped supervising about a year ago when he was just over 2yo, no way could I have done so earlier, but I know people who don’t feel they need to supervise their 18mo. So it’s a your mileage may vary thing

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Am I the only one thinking the OP just needs to get up earlier? Seems a rather simple low-tech solution. I mean FFs, get up get him sorted with a snack and tv then snooze while he’s somewhat supervised in the same room with him.

I mean it worked with my puppy, surely it would work with a small child.

Bloody hell, give this person a 🏅. I get up at 5 or 6am with my youngest ones. Have done this with them all. Easy and straightforward solution.

Yes, I like to supervise my 3 Year Old on the stairs. He is perfectly capable of going up and down unaided. But I do like to make sure I'm near by so I can tell him to make sure he's holding the bannister and to be careful. Not sure if it makes a difference but I grew up in a Bungalow and have only had stairs since growing up and moving out so I've always been very cautious around stairs! A combination of not being used to stairs and my own clumsiness means I've taken about three tumbles myself! Also, I'm not going to set my alarm and wake up at 5 or 6 every day. Some days DS will sleep until 8:30 other days he will rise at 6:30. But I'm not setting an alarm to be up at 6 on the off chance that it's a 6:30 day when I could potentially have slept until 8:30!

My youngest was 10 months..which was a day after he learned to walk.

About 7/8 I allowed mine. Absolutely no chance a 3 year old should be allowed unsupervised downstairs. I changed my stair gate to one they couldn't open. Had one on their door and one on top and bottom of stairs

Not sure if anyone has mentioned already but an easy solution is a chime operated PIR sensor or if you want to get fancy you can get an Alexa motion sensor which plugs in like a nightlight and can be set to trigger an alarm to wake you if he walks past it.

You can buy taller stair gates that he possibly wouldn't be able to reach to open? I also have heard of people turning door handles upside down in toddlers rooms although that doesn't sit right with me in case of an emergency? If doing that I would have a baby monitor set up so he could call for you once awake..?

I cannot understand the above suggestions of leaving small chokeable foods available, like dry cereal or raisins - this is much more of a risk than the actual stairs in my opinion.

As for his opening the cupboards, I found locks that needed a magnet to open them very good - the magnet was kept out of sight and out of reach.

My daughter went downstairs by herself. She was VERY sensible. She would take a drink from the fridge and turn the TV on. She’d just chill.

First I knew our DD at 3 could open the stair gate (and it wasn't a standard one, we'd built a wooden one with a door mechanism in it that you needed the square bar thingy to open) was when she woke me up one Sunday holding a 6 pint of milk as she couldn't open the tamper proof lid inside..... The bar went on a higher hook!

Locking the stair gate is utterly moronic - what if you had a fire?

This is extreme, but my parents had to do it for my sister...install a screened door with a simple hook-and-eye latch near the top of the door. In case of fire, you can easily flip the latch opened, but he can't reach it.

We have a wind chime on our sons door so when he opens the door it jingles and we know he's escaping the bedroom for whatever reason he's decided. You could try that. Luckily our son only just figured out how to open the stair gates last month and he's 4 and a half plus as soon as he's up he wants cuddles in our bed so we've not had this problem but I can understand how worrying it is

I appreciate they're not cheap and probably unnecessary at 3yrs old, but what about one of those baby monitors that has a pad under the mattress, so when he's out of bed it'll sound in your room?

When DC was a toddler, we put catches at the top of the doors to the kitchen, bathroom, living room etc, so if they got out of their bedroom they could only access our bedroom. The catches just flipped in and out very easily so were not a fire risk, but stopped them from opening doors. (they did not open wide enough to trap fingers either).

I taught my toddlers to slide downstairs on their tummies, feet first.

You need an Ollie the Owl Groclock Toddler Sleep Trainer. Reward him for following the rules. He's got to learn to follow the rules and it will help him with time too.

I have a baby monitor in my 4 year olds room there's no way she's getting out without me knowing about it but I am a light sleeper
You could put something in his room that makes a noise when he passes it or something? Like one of those musical mats on the floor next to the bed

Depends on the child I suppose but personally, I wouldn't and never have, allowed any of my four kids (one set of twins) downstairs alone at three years of age. My Dad and his twin managed to start a fire when they were this age. My poor Dad was facially scarred for life. True story so I'm just probably being overly paranoid.

Well I watched a documentary on Apple TV yesterday where a couple in Japan sent their three year old out alone in Tokyo to cross busy roads and a railway line in order to buy sushi. Apparently it's a tradition to send children of this age out for their first errand.

I’d suggest getting a groclock or something similar. Set it to “sunl early, and tell DS that when he wakes up, if the clock is sunny, bring it to you to swap for a prize.

Presumably, he’ll start to get excited when he wakes up and sees it, and will come straight into your room, forgetting about downstairs completely

• set it to “sun” early

3 is definitely old enough to use the stair unsupervised ffs! But then I never had stair gates- o think they’re dangerous precisely because kids don’t learn to use the stairs safely. Going downstairs unsupervised is another matter. I always co-slept with line so didn’t have this problem.

For a special needs child we put a chain on the outside of his door. It opens a few inches for him but he can't leave.

Get up earlier?