3 Year Old going downstairs alone.

[blaisealex]

DS 3, for the past two mornings, has ventured downstairs alone when he wakes up.

I'm just wondering how old your DC were when they started going downstairs alone?

I'm not happy about it. We don't allow DS to use the stairs unsupervised nor be downstairs or upstairs by himself. But he's creeping downstairs first thing when he wakes up and we don't hear him. Prior to this he would come to our room and wake us up. He is no longer doing this.

I'm not sure what I can do to stop him? Of course, I can tell him not to but whether he listens or not is another matter. I can't set an alarm to wake before him because he doesn't wake at a set time. He could wake at any time. He can now open all the stair gates so those don't work anymore.

I should add, he is only just turned three. By a few weeks.

Am I being too protective or am I right that this is a definite no no?

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

Put a baby gate at the top of the stairs. I now allow my 9yo in the TV room before we get up ( flat, no stairs), but that's because he'll literally just sit and watch TV. The 13yo has never done it.

Wait, what?? 😂😂😂 Nine and THIRTEEN????????

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

Put a baby gate at the top of the stairs. I now allow my 9yo in the TV room before we get up ( flat, no stairs), but that's because he'll literally just sit and watch TV. The 13yo has never done it.

You now allow your 9yo to enter a different room whilst your asleep?

We use this little things off Amazon that stops little ones getting out of rooms. We put it on our little girls door too and it is a lifesaver. I’m a light sleeper but I’m so worried about her leaving her room and me not hearing her it saves alot of anxiety. She’s 2

My daughter would do this at around the same age, and a bit younger. The one thing we did do was put one of those hook and eye type locks on the kitchen door up the top, to avoid her leaving the freezer open or juggling knives.

We would leave her a snack and a glass of water next to an appealing toy and she would crack on. It certainly wasn't what we wanted initially, but we soon discovered that she would do it anyway, and was actually quite sensible for her age so we just child proofed the process.

I haven't read all the suggestions but what about a bell on the gate!!! Old fashioned but any noise will alert you . My 2.5 year old climbs gates but luckily he comes on to us at the crack of dawn!
Couldn't you set up something in his room that would be more interesting to play, noisy like a child keyboard ..would definitely wake you up!!

We always turn the cooker off at the plug if that is something you can do. Mine started turning the hob on when I wasn't looking so we only turn the mains on when cooking as a precaution.

I think mine both went downstairs at that age and watch a DVD or play for a bit. It's what I, my brother, my sister and my nieces and nephews had done at that age and, tbh, it never occurred to me to set up some Mission Impossible style security system.

Definitely too young, we have a very mature 3.5 year old goes up and down the three flights of stairs in our townhouse alone but only to retrieve things from her bed or go and say hi to daddy upstairs. I’d definitely look at getting a stair gate that cannot be opened. We used to have this one as it was an awkward space, there’s no way a little one could open it!

www.argos.co.uk/product/2994767?istCompanyId=a74d8886-5df9-4baa-b776-166b3bf9111c&istFeedId=30f62ea9-9626-4cac-97c8-9ff3921f8558&istItemId=iwrwtqaii&istBid=t&&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157%7Cacid:629-618-1342%7Ccid:9563523546%7Cagid:102230971670%7Ctid:aud-641224041017:pla-888485635627%7Ccrid:423314715593%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:976230926456474497%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:%7Cmt:%7Cloc:1006826&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=9563523546&utm_term=2994767&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=102230971670&utm_custom2=629-618-1342&gclid=CjwKCAjwoNuGBhA8EiwAFxomAxYKsblVn40ut3bKt699lerP_1YGniRYcF-zYjOc6NbJmumpkh-9yBoCFuQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

You can get alarms for doors that go off when they open. That should wake you when he opens the door.

Plus I would be reiterating "no going downstairs without Mummy". If that was my kid at that age, they'd have several warnings and if they still did it, I'd show them a favourite toy at bedtime and say "if you go downstairs without Mummy then Mummy will take this toy away".

Or, "if you go downstairs without Mummy, then Mummy will be very cross".

Lot's of praise when he doesn't do it. So like "Daddy, did you know? X listened really carefully and stayed upstairs when Mummy asked them to. Here's a sticker on your chart because you stayed upstairs nicely".

"Mummy likes it when X stays upstairs". Lots and lots of mentioning it to get it in his head.

"Remember, we don't go downstairs by ourselves, do we?" etc etc

@otterbaby

Can you put some sort of lock on the stairgate so he can't open them? Like these.

I would think that's too young to be unsupervised downstairs.

I haven’t rttt, but want to highlight that you should not be doing something like this in case of fire or other nighttime emergency.

Does he have his bedroom door closed? If so try turning the door handles round so instead of pulling down to open door, you have to push the handle up, no good though if he has to get up to the toilet overnight though. Most 3 year old can't manage to push door handle up and pull the door towards them at the same time. Worked for my mum and dad with 3 of us all close in age.

Our 4 year old has just started going downstairs on their own, before that I would let them play on their kids kindle in bed with me so I could get a bit more sleep before having to go down. I agree with you OP just 3 is too young to be left to their own devices for a significant amount of time.

I was wondering if he was waking up early as the sun was coming in through his curtains.

Mine are a bit older now, but no. I wouldn't have let them downstairs unsupervised at that age... Saying that, I'd happily let them trundle back UPstairs during the day to play in their rooms or whatever... But there are more hazards downstairs for sure.

Are you not hearing him when he gets up and goes downstairs? Could you attach a little bell to his door that rings when it opens? Or change the stairgate to a new design?

@Sirecho . That's what we did when my children were small. We lived in a council maisonette with concrete stairs and wouldn't have liked them to have a fall on them .

What about door locks ? Then you Could lock each door downstairs and he’ll get annoyed and bored and come back up? It is a worry about the stairs but is he quite confident on them? If he fell would you hear could you sleep with your bedroom door open?

On a different note I’m surprised people never leave there children alone ...I’m happy to hoover upstairs while my two year old is downstairs and I have stair gates closed. I’ve made everything as safe as I can and just stick the tv on. I also leave him in my bed with an iPad while I go down in the morning to make coffee and bring it back upstairs.

Don’t put a lock on the gates he will just try and climb over them.

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Weirdly I’m up at 5 just about every day. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out you pick an early time, wander down to the lounge and snooze until you hear your kid pottering about.

😂really ? I can’t believe you do this that is so OTT no way would I get up before my child just so I could be downstairs to supervise when they wake up.

My DD had an unopenable staircase across her bedroom door till she was 3.5. My bedroom is a floor higher than hers, so I didn't want her sleepwalking down the stairs at night.

I would leave her by herself at around 3 during the day, but would trap her in her room if I needed a nap. She had a potty in her room during that time in case she needed a wee. I had a baby monitor on as well, so could hear any crying or strange sounds.

She has always been a risk averse child, scared of the stairs or anything vaguely dangerous. She had a little friend who would pull things out, climb in furniture, and general cause chaos. I don't think she was allowed anywhere unsupervised for a lot longer.

So depends on the nature of the child and the way the house is set up.

Agree with suggestions for some kind of alarm that goes off if there is movement.

You can get mats that set off an alarm if anyone walks over them. You could put one just outside his bedroom door.

Pressure door mat alarm from Amazon are about £15. We used them in dementia unit I worked in.

Agree with a bell or something, just as a little indicator.

He sounds like mine though, luckily I sleep lightly but he can be up and about at random times of the morning and has been known to head downstairs first thing. Stressful!

Not sure all the suggestions to "just tell him" are especially helpful, am sure OP has tried that.

Baby monitor in his /your room with volumne up and a bell on door

But keep saying don’t go downstairs

Stay in bed and call for me or come to to my room

I said before a gro clock but you need to be tough with it

What time does he wake - you say it varies

What about tying a piece of string to his door handle and the other end around your finger so that when his door opens you'll know straightaway and can jump into action?

Do you have a baby monitor in his room? Turn it up loud you will hear him getting out of bed or opening his door. I also think the bell or set of chimes is a great idea. Hang them on the stair gate after you head to bed, you will hear that. Also a gro clock is absolutely magic to keep them in bed until a set time especially at that age. Make a big deal of it, setting it up, read the book and give a reward for staying in bed. The trick is to set the clock to the earliest time to begin with then push it out by 5 minutes every few days until you are at the time you want to get up. Reward him for staying in his bed until the sun comes up. Alternatively Maybe some new special toys and books in his room that are not allowed out of the room would help him stay in there.