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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Aibu to think this is too full on?

469 replies

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 04:12

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

OP posts:
LonginesPrime · 24/06/2021 11:09

then went on to say how he hates waking up alone and misses having someone to hold

This is possibly the most transparent attempt at lovebombing I've ever heard of - he's certainly not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?

And I agree with MadamBatty that he'll be playing a numbers game and, erm, "romancing" as many women as he can from his old Facebook contacts to see what sticks.

DarlingWithoutYou · 24/06/2021 11:11

What a mentalist. Block and move on. Far far away!

He's clearly a Love Bomber.

ConradKnightSocks · 24/06/2021 11:12

Yes, too full on! He sounds terrifying, thank fuck he doesn't know exactly where you live - DO NOT TELL HIM. Run for the hills, OP.

TedMullins · 24/06/2021 11:13

Oh my god, he sounds like a serial killer. Block him immediately

Herecomesspring1 · 24/06/2021 11:13

Have you replied to his message this morning? If not, maybe don't.

ApolloandDaphne · 24/06/2021 11:13

Please don't tell him your address. He sounds terrifying.

Chocaholic9 · 24/06/2021 11:15

Omg. Run!

knittingaddict · 24/06/2021 11:15

[quote DrManhattan]@knittingaddict
I'm calling this BS now[/quote]
Indeed. No one is that oblivious to a whole flotilla of red flags..

CupOfTPlease · 24/06/2021 11:16

Please do not respond to him anymore. Stay safe x

TellingBone · 24/06/2021 11:16

@Luckystars1

Hi everyone,

Just read through the replies.

Just posting an update I woke up to a message earlier saying ‘morning beautiful, I hope you slept well or was you all up night thinking about me?’ then went on to say how he hates waking up alone and misses having someone to hold.

He doesn’t know where exactly where I live but he knows which area.

And what is your intention, having read these replies?
Wheresthebeach · 24/06/2021 11:20

Jesus OP - bonkers level of crazy. Run like the wind. Tell him to go away, block him on all social media. No being 'nice' about it.

Grrrpredictivetex · 24/06/2021 11:21

OP you don't seem to be putting up any resistance to these bizarre messages.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 24/06/2021 11:22

He's reached this level of terrifying batshittery in two days? TWO DAYS?!

Fuck me backwards, there's more red flags here than a communist rally. If you really must, reply with something like "This is way too over the top, please don't contact me again" but either way block him on every platform.

I have a friend who would totally fall for this because, bless her, she's desperate for someone to love her and has therefore ricocheted from one appallingly abusive relationship to another, despite what anyone says to her or tries to warn her about.

Frankly I'm just waiting for the phone call to say that one of them has killed her.

HOkieCOkie · 24/06/2021 11:23

Omg that’s way way to much, I’d be blocking his number. But then I don’t do relationships.

knittingaddict · 24/06/2021 11:23

Oh looks who's back.

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 11:25

There is another few comments he has made that I forgot to mention. scaffolding has gone up on the house because the Landlord is having a new roof done. I told him that the scaffolders were here and he put ‘I bet they’re not as good looking as me’. So he clearly thinks highly of himself.

He asked me about my DDs dad and how long I’ve been single, I didn’t give much away as I didn’t think it was his business but he said to me ‘you don’t need any one else now anyway, you’ve got me’

He also been saying ‘you need a man about the house’ so yes I think he does want somewhere to live as he keeps mentioning the moving in thing

I don’t know why I have been giving him my time to even respond.

OP posts:
Lbnc2021 · 24/06/2021 11:25

Just block him ffs, why is that so difficult

aiwblam · 24/06/2021 11:26

Fucking hell

You need to get rid of him, as carefully as you can - I am not sure how you would word something to someone so obsessive.

1Endeavour2 · 24/06/2021 11:26

Agree with everyone else. Possibly paedophile in waiting. Do not send any more messages to him ever as this will encourage him to keep trying.
I've worked with paedophiles. They smell a vulnerable woman from afar and you've sent the wrong signals.

Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 11:27

Definitely not BS! I’m stopping all contact. Think maybe it was nice to have compliments etc as I’ve been single since DD was born but I understand this is too much and won’t end well if I let it go on any further

OP posts:
Luckystars1 · 24/06/2021 11:29

Everybody is right about the self esteem issue, I’ve never really had a healthy stable relationship, I allow men to walk all over me.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 24/06/2021 11:29

@Henio

Fucking hell 😳
Exactly this🤣
ChargingBuck · 24/06/2021 11:32

@HideousKinky

The phrase "I know how to spoil a woman" alone makes me shudder. He sounds really creepy
Totally, Kinky. That phrase alone is enough to throw ANY man in the sea.

The revolting & unnerving assumption that HE, this Special Man You'd Be Lucky To Get, knows what any woman wants because (to him) well - they're all the same really, aren't they?

Any man deploying this terminology has a Madonna/Whore complex, & needs to fuck right off.

MegaClutterSlut · 24/06/2021 11:33

Yes its way too full on. Its actually really creepy and it sounds like he is the type of bloke who can turn into a bit of a stalker. Protect you and your daughter and RUN LIKE FUCK

Drinkingallthewine · 24/06/2021 11:35

I’m betting his ex partner has moved on with someone else and he’s on a mission to find someone to play happy families with just to get back at her.

I'm betting she's fled or has a restraining order on him.

He's someone who needs two things immediately - a roof over his head and a docile woman he can dominate.

Right now he's telling you whatever he thinks will get his foot in your door. Every bit of that is fake. The moment you tell him you aren't interested in him, or you tell him that you are dating someone else, you'll get a barrage of hostility abuse for wasting his time.

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