Aibu to think this is too full on?

[Luckystars1]

Hi,

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend, who met as a group of us a few times and texted a bit but nothing happened between us, I never met him alone but it was clear he liked me, it was very brief and short lived though. we lost contact anyway and in that time he met somebody else and got engaged.

Fast forward to now he sent me a friend request on Facebook and sent me a message saying long time no speak. He explained that he’s no longer with his partner, went into detail about their nasty breakup etc and started being rude about her which I thought was inappropriate as I’d not seen him in years and I didn’t know her.

Then out of no where he put to me ‘you’re the one that got away’ ‘I always wanted you, you know I did’. We texted back and forth a bit and this is where it went from 0 to 100.

I told him I now have a 2 year old DD. He near enough straight away said ‘I’ll come up this week and meet her’ and he keeps asking about seeing me everyday. He says ‘come and see your man’

He told me he’s got cats and I said I’d love a cat if my Landlord would allow one he said ‘I’ll buy you a kitten if you’re allowed a pet’
He’s then gone on to say he’s got a caravan holiday booked at the seaside that he had booked in with his ex but he’s said me and DD can come with him ‘if we are lucky’. I didn’t say anything back to this and the next day he brought it up when I never agreed. ‘don’t forget you’re both coming away with me in October’

He also says things like ‘tell you’re landlord I’m moving in, I’ll get my bags packed’ I’d love to wake up to you every morning’ ‘you’d be lucky to have me, I’d always go out my way to put a smile on your face’ ‘I know how to spoil a woman’

Also I mentioned about a fishing lake near mine as he said he likes fishing and he put ‘you’re really making me want to marry you’

He said last night ‘he’s not stopped smiling since he messaged me and that he can’t stop thinking about me and it’s the happiest he’s felt in a long time. He put last night ‘I hope you’re thinking about me before you go to bed’

Aibu to think this is too full on? I’ve not seen him in 6 years and even then he barely knew me as we only spoke briefly and we’ve texted for only 2 days and he is saying all this among other things.

He's a man who is looking for somewhere to live with some sex thrown in, at the very least. At the worst, he's way too interested in the fact you have a child.

Text him one last time and tell him he's moving way too fast and you're really not interested. Then block him everywhere possible.

Oh goodness, just realised I’ve posted that reply in my normal account! Didn’t want too put on this account for privacy so I made the other account. Thank you all for your replies, he is so creepy.

Just report your post and ask it to be deleted.

I mean like both your posts... at 13.22 and 13.25.

Report them and ask admin to remove them.

Errr block OP!?

@Evielucy2019

Oh goodness, just realised I’ve posted that reply in my normal account! Didn’t want too put on this account for privacy so I made the other account. Thank you all for your replies, he is so creepy.

I’m very confused.

You posted earlier this week about an ex getting in touch who you were previously in a long-term relationship with. He has a girlfriend now and wants to meet up with you behind her back.

Are these two separate men?

Or is it the same guy and he does indeed have a girlfriend?

[quote Luckystars1]@2bazookas yes didn’t think about that at first. He did say ‘I actually find it really attractive that you’re a mother, it can put some guys off but it doesn’t me’[/quote]
OH PASS THE SICK BUCKET!!!

He is a dyed-in-the-wool wrong'un OP.

Note the casual allusion to how much BETTER he is than all those other men. It's a form of negging, trying to make you feel you're not really a good enough prospect for these fictitious "other men".

As to finding motherhood attractive, FFS, it's not as if billions of women have ever given birth is it? - Oh how special you are! Just ... so long as you understand not quite special enough to attract any man who isn't Dickwad, you get it?

I said upthread this man has a Madonna/Whore complex.

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK

Ewww CREEPY MC CREEP. I would say sorry you’re coming on far too strong and I’m not looking for a relationship or anything serious right now and am happy by myself. His response to being knocked back will tell you all you need to know about him…

@VodselForDinner

Yes, two seperate men! The guy this post is about I haven’t seen in years and we were never close.

@Luckystars1

I’m not sure where he is living, he did say his ex had moved on and living in a different part of UK now. Not sure why he felt the need to tell me that!

Because men like this are constantly shooting themselves in the foot, & once you have wised up to "the script" (see Lundy Bancroft book, my post upthread), you too will recognise the pattern & see how much they unintentionally reveal about themselves.

I'm hazarding that the Ex finally put on her running shoes, & didn't stop until she had a few hundred miles between her & Dickwad.

He just wants sex

Please keep your 2 year old child away from this man

Op, you seem young.

You have either have or have been tempted to meet up with an ex who admitted he had a girlfriend and asked you to keep the meet up quiet.

Now you are still sat recieving messages and haven't blocked this man, continuing letting him to message. Which he will continue to do.

You seem very sweet, but don't seem to be able to make good decisions. Or at least it takes a while and there's red flags, way before you take action.

Don't meet the other man. Block this one. We all get lonely. Especially as a single parent But stop interacting with these men who aren't worth your time.

I’d run a million miles!

@Ladylokidoki

Yes you’re right. I’m 23. Worth mentioning as well as I didn’t before, he is older than me, turning 28 next month.

Thank you

So have you blocked him yet or moved him in yet?

He sounds weird OP and I'd run a mile, block and stay away.

Hopefully you’ve blocked him by now, sounds thick as mince.

Ok so I’ve just gone back into the chat. Didn’t reply to his previous messages. I am trying to think of what to say before I block.

He’s sent this message ‘you will see me won’t you? If not I’ll have to put your flowers in the bin’

Oh dear!

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

Be careful, this ones got stalker written all over him. Id be lying through my teeth at this stage, oh me and DDs dad are giving it another go, he's moving back in, blah blah blah, I'm not on my own basically.

Yeah, I'd steer him right off. Creepy would-be cock-lodger with major control issues going on a 'charm' offensive - he won't enjoy rejection, but may back the fuck off if he thinks there's another man around.

You need to ring-fence this fucktard.

He can donate his flowers to a hospital.

Block him - he thinks you’re desperate and is ‘gracing’ you with his wonderfulness 🙄 It’s all crap. Men like this aren’t genuine. Their conversations consist of corny chat-up lines. There’s no depth at all. He’ll be persistent in the hope you see that as ‘how much he likes you’. Really it’s just bullying and trying to make you do what he wants.

He’s picked you because he thinks you’re weak and gullible. Show him you’re not. His attention isn’t real attention. You could be anybody to him. It’s a hard thing to get your head round but some people are just like that - fake and empty.

Hold out for something real, not a manipulative fake who just wants somewhere to live and shags on demand.

Either just block him or say

'I am sorry but this is making me uncomfortable. Please do not contact me again'

Then block. It takes less than a minute, but you don't seem to be willing to do this.

You know his behaviour is odd, because you asked here. Why is it you are finding it so difficult to cut him off?

As for what to say to him now, say you’ve decided to give it another try with your ex (any ex - just make something up). Drop in some more detail if you have a chance, preferably about moving in with this ex in the hope this creepy faker won’t come looking for your current house. Tell him your ex is in another city - plan what to say. Say it, keep it pleasant but formal and then don’t speak to the creep again.

"You are steamrollering me into a relationship I don't want. Please stop contacting me."
And block.

He’s bonkers. Block and run