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AIBU?

Best/worst/untraceable revenge

479 replies

namechangeforwrongdoing · 22/06/2021 21:12

Just tell me the best (worst?) but most untraceable acts of revenge/comeuppance that you've heard....Asking for a friend.....Wink

OP posts:
HappyInChaos · 22/06/2021 23:09

Fed nail varnish remover to someones bonsai, several times in a month, taking great joy at watching the attempt to revie it as it slowly died.

I know someone who used the spare key they hadn't returned, went in to ex's house and removed the fuses from everything that required one, she was a genius!

Deathsquito · 22/06/2021 23:09

I’ve been on the receiving end of it. A boyfriend in college believed I had cheated (I hadn’t, he was just extremely possessive and jealous - wish 16 year old me had known what a red flag was!)

For the last year of college he was relentless. I’d find dead mice in my backpack, horrible rumours spread to everyone, I’d find water (I hope it was water) poured over my notes etc.

It did backfire thankfully, people saw him for the vindictive bitter bastard he was and he got in to a lot of trouble.

I’ve never bothered with it myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a lot of cathartic fun imagining a particularly juicy revenge for those who’ve hurt me. But at the end of the day, it does feel better to just smile and carry on.

Not that it should count really, but other people also seem to view you as the ‘righteous’ one if you just move on with your life.

SusannahSophia · 22/06/2021 23:09

This was actually a complete accident but when I was delivering my cheating exH’s beloved bike to the OW’s house, I hadn’t secured the bike rack securely to the car and it fell off, bike and all as I was driving. I don’t recommend this as it was bloody dangerous, but I was hysterically laughing at the crushed front wheel and bent frame. I left it locked up by their front door. I don’t think he ever believed it was an accident.

TheMoreThisReachesTheMainstrea · 22/06/2021 23:14

Something I heard, but never experienced

Someone at a place of work was being a dick. One day someone noticed that they put their car key in their desk. They had the key copied and spent the next few months moving the dick’s car in the car park, changing the radio station, changing the heat/air settings etc etc. The gaslighting stopped when he changed jobs

BakeOffRewatch · 22/06/2021 23:15

ACCUNTING BIUSNESS

Grin

@edwinbear @ILoveYourLittleHat

bogoffmda · 22/06/2021 23:16

My then DH had an affair, he left with OW (family friend). She was unhinged but basically signed me up to every catalogue, junk mail etc, got phone calls for my insurance query, double glazing, surveys etc.

She did to my land and mobile numbers - had to change both.

Her ultimate evil was reporting me and my parents for fraud to tax and benefits - that one still has repercussions today.

She was the OW, am not sure what she thought she was doing.

Reverse revenge - 3 years later and after she and EX had split up - I got my revenge without actually trying - she did something which caused her immense issues and I may have exacerbated the situation when I found out. Can not say what I did as completely outing but no one ever tell me that revenge is not sweet!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 23:20

I can't speak for Kingsley Amis, but we were at a family member's graduation ceremony where his son Martin and two other well-known, highly-regarded men were being awarded honorary degrees at the end.

Two of the three gentlemen gave very pleasant, brief, witty, gracious, self-deprecating speeches about what a privilege it was for them, and really added a positive vibe to the whole proceedings. The third one came on last and gave a bitter, awkward, rambling, tangential monologue (he sounded quite tired and emotional to me, but I may have entirely misconstrued that) about how honoured the uni should feel for a person of his immense stature to deign to accept their little bauble, or words strongly to that effect.

Of course, I'm most certainly not saying or giving any clues whatsoever as to which of the three men was Martin - just commenting that he was there on that day.

Lalliella · 22/06/2021 23:27

When I was a student a guy in the next kitchen used to come into our kitchen and do things like superglue our stuff to the worktops. He loved eggs so we got his eggs out of the fridge, hardboiled half of them, and blew out the insides of the other half and filled them with water (sealed with nail varnish and foundation), replaced them all then sat down to watch him make an omelette. Simple, harmless, but hilarious at the time.

CatsArePeople · 22/06/2021 23:28

not mine, but overheard. Colleague at work was stealing others' packed lunches. So another colleague made sandwitches with cat food.

SpiesRUs · 22/06/2021 23:29

A couple of years back friend of a friend advertised cheap Justin Bieber / Take That or some other really really popular tickets for sale on facebook / gumtree using her exes phone number. Apparently his phone went into meltdown and it took him a while to track down where the adverts were and get them taken down so he had calls for days on end.

SynchroSwimmer · 22/06/2021 23:33

There was the story in the news a decade or more back...
A husband who was proud of his extensive wine cellar, bottles accumulated over a period of time.

His ex wife distributed them, leaving them as doorstep deliveries next to the milk bottles - to every house in the village

romdowa · 22/06/2021 23:33

Removing fuses from plugs has always been my personal favourite form of revenge 🤣🤣🤣

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 23:34

Kintsugi16
Smear dog shit under their car door handle

I don't know why, but seeing your username juxtaposed with a mental image of your comment (I'm assuming that the poor old handle was worn, tired, cracked and really lacking its original, sparky joie de vivre?!) has reeeeally tickled me Grin

Cocopogo · 22/06/2021 23:37

I found he had an online dating profile, managed to guess his password and changed it to gay seeking men for ONS

NoProblem123 · 22/06/2021 23:37

Cleaned Hammy the Hamster out with his toothbrush.

Great thread !

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 23:40

This is so obviously not a true historical occurrence, but it's still hilarious if you haven't read it before (or even if you have)!

www.lachances.com/Humor/BadDay2.html

olidora63 · 22/06/2021 23:42

I pissed in a saucepan and accidentally dropped his watch in it as well…sadly the watch cost about £10000😂….he is now worth millions!!

CrazyForStew · 22/06/2021 23:44

My brother grated super strength laxatives into his flatmate's massive jar of coffee and mixed it all in. Bloke had the shits for weeks.

SecondCityShark · 22/06/2021 23:48

Mine's a bit specific but fuck it. I'm a writer, and the victim is also a writer. She's known in the industry for being a drunken, spiteful piece of work. An absolute diva.

Met her backstage at an event and she was VERY true to her reputation. I've literally never met anybody ruder. She literally stood bellowing 'AND WHO ARE YOU' at me in a really pointed and embarassing way. This was when my first book came out so I wasn't 'known' massively at that point and she made me feel about an inch tall, in front of tonnes of influential people.

Anyway, a couple of weeks later, as the fates would have it, a magazine asked me to review her latest book.

So I did. Oh yes I did. Wink

frazzledasarock · 22/06/2021 23:51

@SynchroSwimmer

There was the story in the news a decade or more back...
A husband who was proud of his extensive wine cellar, bottles accumulated over a period of time.

His ex wife distributed them, leaving them as doorstep deliveries next to the milk bottles - to every house in the village

Lady Sarah Graham Moon.

She didn’t do well in the divorce settlement following her revenge.
Hawkins001 · 22/06/2021 23:52

Omg at some of these

Thewiseoneincognito · 22/06/2021 23:57

Toothbrush, hair brush, tweezers around the toilet rim is classic

Scatter moth larvae on their carpet under sofa and bedding/towel cupboard

Buy a few dead mice or rats from pet food store and hide behind washer or oven, you can also place them maybe in their hardly ever used drawers or somewhere they wouldn’t go looking for a while, maybe even in their mattress? Create a tiny hole so it looks genuine 😉

touma · 23/06/2021 00:03

@Speakuptomakeyourselfheard

My DH and I met while on holiday. He'd been seeing a woman prior to the trip we met on, and went home and told her it was over, he'd met someone else and wanted to explore the new relationship. A few months on, I moved into his flat. Her revenge for dumping her - a box of books from a book club with titles such as 'How to Kill Your Lover', 'Cheats Won't Survive', and various other titles along a similar vein. Not content with that, she then sent him a card telling him that she had an STD and that he and I should get ourselves checked - it was all lies. She then ordered a taxi to come to the house to pick him up at 3am. She visited in the middle of the night and keyed his car. Then finally she came to the flat in the early hours of the morning, rang the bell and started shouting and screaming about what a cheat he was, until finally we had to call the police. Other than the 'keyed' car, we found her various forms of retribution funny, but I did feel sorry for her that she couldn't take him ending the relationship, as it wasn't like he cheated on her really, as he finished the relationship as soon as he got home from the holiday. I'm so glad he did, as we've now been together for 29 years!


Good for her.
He did cheat, and probably has again at some point in your 29 years together. You just don't know about it.
Because if he does it with you, he'll do it to you.
🥰
TheoMeo · 23/06/2021 00:06

I accidentally left a peeled hard boiled egg in a polythene bag at the bottom of a rucksack - spent weeks wondering what to do about the dead rat that must be under the floorboards. Egg had turned into a stinking blackish liquid - still enclosed in its bag.
So keep that in mind - easier than prawns in the curtains.

KimmyAndMe · 23/06/2021 00:12

I’m loving this thread. Any ideas more related to a business address rather than home? I don’t live with him and he now lives hours away. I don’t know his address so that’s not accessible to me. It’s been a while now but I owe him big time!

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