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Best/worst/untraceable revenge

479 replies

namechangeforwrongdoing · 22/06/2021 21:12

Just tell me the best (worst?) but most untraceable acts of revenge/comeuppance that you've heard....Asking for a friend.....Wink

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 22:49

I think some of the silly little ones, like moving the car around the corner and changing the height in his profile, are probably more likely to succeed and be enduring than the big, obvious ones. They're just like Mr Twitt and the walking stick!!

Keepemguessing · 22/06/2021 22:50

A friend put her ex's details on Gumtree saying he was selling a goat.

He had phone calls for months.

WorraLiberty · 22/06/2021 22:50

@DeathByWalkies I agree

Unless the ex is the delivery driver or restaurant owner, I can't see how that's revenge at all?

Just a mild inconvenience of opening the door and saying 'Sorry, I didn't order that mate'.

Kona84 · 22/06/2021 22:51

@Rebootheplanet it’s easy to create a fake email. You just got to hotmail/ gmail -whatever email provider you want to use and then set up an email address in a fake name.
I had one for reporting my neighbours to their letting agency for parties that went on until 4am on weekdays.

JudgeJ · 22/06/2021 22:51

An unpleasant person in College made nasty remarks to people, unsettling them. Some of the other men got into the roof space above his room and ran invisible threads down into his room, while he was out they fastened these to various objects. When he came back fairly drunk he fell into bed but was kept awake by strange sounds and the sight of objects moving in his room. He was hysterical by the morning.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 22:52

Yes, I definitely agree with DeathByWalkies.

Much better to get them hassled by pervs looking for their jollies in their spare time - or just the collective result of hundreds of people bothering them for a few minutes at a time - rather than making innocent people running decent, honest businesses suffer big-time.

ClairKingston · 22/06/2021 22:52


I read a revenge story in a magazine once.

The guy was apparently awful and liked everything in the house to be just so. The last row they had was because she didn't hang his clothes in 'colour order' in his wardrobe.

He ended up telling her 'she wasn't even fit to iron his shirts', so before she left, she pissed in a jug and filled his steam iron up 🤣🤣

My favourite!

readytosell · 22/06/2021 22:53


The best revenge is living well

ILoveYourLittleHat · 22/06/2021 22:54


I can’t take the credit for the idea as I got it from MN, but I bought up all the domain names for his business. Best £100 I ever spent.

Oh I wonder if this was me under a very old name?!
If you want to take it even further, you could make the shittiest, 90s-animated-gif-filled, Geocities style website in misspelt Comic Sans for his business, complete with inadvertent bad reviews...
SteppinOutwithMyBaby · 22/06/2021 22:54

Kingsley Amis – the Booker Prize winning writer – was apparently not the most faithful of husbands. Not long after he had had the book "One for Englishman" published, his family went for a holiday somewhere sunny. He fell asleep in the sun and got sunburnt. Meanwhile, his wife had written “1 Fat Englishman – I fuck anything“ in blockout on his back and photographed it for posterity.

ThatOtherPoster · 22/06/2021 22:55

I’d like to hear stories where people have had revenge taken on them. Was it terrible? Did you respect your ex (or whoever) more afterwards?

StrandedStarfish · 22/06/2021 22:56

Removed the hard drive from Tosser’s computer and left it on the shelf by his desk. Tosser’s hard drive had his business accounts on as well as emails to his new love. Replaced it temporarily with our friend Peter”s hard drive which consisted of rants to the local paper about the city’s football team and their dismal performance in the league that year. Tosser spent hundreds trying to recover his lost accounts.

LadyGAgain · 22/06/2021 22:56

Hahahahahahahahaha @ILoveYourLittleHat AMAZING GrinGrinGrin

randomkey123 · 22/06/2021 22:57

When an old work colleague got rather unkindly dumped after her ex cheated on her, she went and bought dozens of pairs of thongs from Primark...... all in a very small size. She then used his spare key and hid them all over the house...... inside old coat pockets, shoes, drawers, cupboards, inside saucepans, mugs, all stuff at the back of cupboards. Under rugs, down the sofa, between the bed and mattress. Behind radiators. Everywhere. Even in the garden shed inside the watering can and lawn mower. And his tool boxes.

Apparently it sent the new girlfriend absolutely batshit as she was finding them for months Grin

goddessofmischief · 22/06/2021 22:59

I have gone for several options in my time.
Carefully placed screws behind car wheels, Swilling an external hard drive in the sink. Many more. However, the absolute fear afterwards has never been worth the act, nor made any real difference. I've never carried out any act of revenge without sheer provocation or long endured abuse. But it's just not worth it. Didn't even give me a moment of relief or feeling like I'd one upped anyone. It really is better to just cut the problem person dead and be happier for it. Arseholes are inevitable. Let them arsehole themselves off away from you.

Rosewood017 · 22/06/2021 22:59

Fill all their keyholes with superglue.

randomkey123 · 22/06/2021 22:59

@ILoveYourLittleHat that's absolute genius.

shas19 · 22/06/2021 23:01

Car key holes with superglue and paint strip message on car

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 22/06/2021 23:01

A friend put her ex's details on Gumtree saying he was selling a goat.

He had phone calls for months.

Somewhat off-topic, but we had a friend at uni (let's call him 'Rob') who had some very silly but innocent in-joke about goats with his housemates. They went out for a meal and, when offered the menu, Rob asked, poker-faced, "Have you got any goat?!" hoping for a silly laugh at the bemused waiter's anticipated "I'm afraid not, Sir" before going on to order something normal from the menu.

Unfortunately for Rob, this phrase must have triggered some sort of underground 'code', to which the waiter was privy but not Rob, as he started making Rob some quite unseemly propositions and insistently offering to put him in contact with all manner of very 'interesting' friends and acquaintances of his Grin

Rebootheplanet · 22/06/2021 23:02

Kona84. Thanks. Can it be traced back to you though?

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 22/06/2021 23:03

The Has Been and Meg show? Ask Charlie!

StrandedStarfish · 22/06/2021 23:04

1st H really annoyed me one evening before I went out to work a night shift. I put ‘wives with knives’ on the TV and took all the remotes to work with me.

I also once changed his Facebook to ‘pirate English’ and when he showed me it said it was just plain English to me

edwinbear · 22/06/2021 23:05

ILoveYourLittleHat it must have been! It’s such a genius and unique idea surely it can only have been posted once! So thank you - it was/is absolutely perfect. He’s still frothing at the mouth because he can’t work out who else would want to buy 5 permutations ‘’ Grin. I’m loving the idea of actually using it for a website as well!

FanFckingTastic · 22/06/2021 23:08

Poo is always good for revenge. A poo in the post is a good one - beautifully wrapped of course, so that there is the excitement of opening a lovely surprise before the big, rather stinky reveal. Just a little poo smeared on the inside of a door handle (car, house, wherever really) is also good. Not enough for you to see it but just enough so that it gets on the fingers, and then everwhere else that's been touched, before they realize. A smear of poo on the toothbrush, a sprinkling of poo in the hairbrush.... I think the best one is decent size poo tucked inside a shoe so that when the foot is pushed in it gets a lovely squishy welcome. You can really have fun with the poo-theme.

Kintsugi16 · 22/06/2021 23:08

Smear dog shit under their car door handle

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