Somewhat outing, but here we go.
I work with an older colleague, in a secondary school setting. She is renowned for not getting things gone on time, and then blaming other staff for it. She's made me cry before, but as she is much senior to me, there is nothing I could do.
Fire alarm, students outside, form tutors need to go and take the registers. I've just gone out as requested, for crowd control.
Students are now in their nice, neat form lines. I, plus several other members of staff who came out to help crowd control, am standing at the front. Colleague walks up to me, thrusts a clipboard at me, and utters the immortal line...
"Go and do something useful and take the register"
No-one else in the group is so directed.
I head off to the form group, to find a very bemused form teacher, who has already taken the register. Still, I complete it again, and hand it back.
Several hours later, during lunch, older colleague walks out in front of me. She's wearing a pencil skirt with a long split up the back. Only it has twisted, and you can see her bum.
I had 2 seconds to tell her.
But I didn't.
She walked out across the school.