Best/worst/untraceable revenge

[namechangeforwrongdoing]

Just tell me the best (worst?) but most untraceable acts of revenge/comeuppance that you've heard....Asking for a friend.....

[BraveBraveMouse]

When I had a bad cold I rubbed a used tissue on the keyboard of the office bully to infect her. Petty but satisfying to see a small degree of justice after her vile treatment of a lovely colleague.

[BoysTownGang]

Going back in time to my teenage schooldays, there was a girl in our group who was forever pinching food (mainly cake, chocolate) out of our lunchboxes. It got really maddening as it happened day after day. One of the other girls ground up some laxatives to a powder, and used this in icing sugar, to beautifully ice some buns - warning us not to eat the pink-iced ones…
Let’s just say that ‘M’ was absent from school the next day with an upset tummy😃

[Houseofvelour]

@elQuintoConyo

Still had keys to the flat.
Ex-bf went on a two week holiday.
Ex-gf went in one day one, rang the American speaking clock, left the phone off the hook for two weeks.

Not me. Friend in the late-80s.

That's pure evil genius!

[Seesawmummadaw]

If you do a search there was a really great revenge thread on here a few years ago op.

My only revenge story was I got happy, successful and hot (maybe not hot but…).

[Teenagehorrorbag]

@Touma I think that's a little unkind. I met DH on holiday too and only learned later that he dumped his ex for me when we all got home. Obviously settled/co-habiting/married couples etc are different but if you are young and not living together then - well - people do move on.

I agree with a PP that dairy products would be great revenge. Years ago a BF spilt a pint of milk in his car and it stank for months and months!

When very young and daft I found out a BF had been seeing a so-called friend behind my back. She was in a steady relationship too - so I sent her BF a very romantic valentines card to make her jealous. Only occurred to me afterwards that she probably never even saw it, we all lived with our parents in those days......

[NSA2103]

Reported adulterous ex-wife to DWP for benefit fraud, c/w evidence. The look on her face was a picture. All she could say was "I'm gonna set my mum on you!"

Then I drew a line, and now live well and happy.

[porkincider]

My sister was in an abusive relationship for years. Really nasty stuff, he put her in hospital once and she was genuinely terrified of being in the house alone for several months after she finally plucked up the courage to leave and move to a new town. First day at her new job and she came out to find her car with ‘cheating whore’ scrawled all over it in lipstick. Someone took photos and it ended up all over local FB pages and in a local newspaper, everyone commenting saying she got what she deserved, hahaha what a bitch etc. It was just awful.

[ilovesooty]

I've only committed one act of revenge which took me months to plan and execute, but I know I wasn't in a good place mentally at the time.

I think acts of revenge are pretty pointless and people are better served by moving on and making the best of their lives going forward.

[princessandthedragon]

A friend of mine went away on a holiday with her in-laws. Her mil’s partner had been horrible to her for years - lots of put-downs (often dressed up as ‘jokes’) in front of other family members at get togethers. He even slapped her across the top of her head once as he greeted her. He was a lot older than the mil and thought his age gave him senior position in the family and to do as he liked. Other people made excuses for him all the time and my friend was an easy target because she’s quiet. Whilst on away with them on the trip my friend took great delight in using his shaving brush to give the inside of the toilet rim a good clean.

[porkincider]

Sorry, that’s probably a bit of a downer on a lighthearted thread. It’s just what always springs to mind when people mention revenge.

I’ve fantasised about doing all sorts to my neighbour who has an absolute vendetta against me. Mostly killing her tree which she is obsessed with even though it’s pushing up the foundation of both her house and my garden wall. I don’t think I’d ever be brave enough to actually do it though, or if I did I’d inevitably end up getting caught and look like a complete loon.

[GuildfordGal]

I think it's supposed to be a light-hearted thread but I really hope that some of these are only idle fantasies (not quite the right word really) as some are actually quite disturbing and unpleasant to read.

The best revenge is living well

100%

[Taikoo]

Glitter bombs. Can buy online and are untraceable.

[SteppinOutwithMyBaby]

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I have only read a couple of Martin Amis books, and didn't particularly like them. He always came across as rather mean-spirited and articles I read about him did nothing to change this opinion. I can well believe the superior attitude.

Kingsley Amis, I absolutely loved. I found his books laugh out loud funny. I read a couple of biographies and his memoirs, and in someways he sounded like a rather sad bod - stayed with his wife Elizabeth Jane Howard, even when he grew to loathe her, because the only alternative was to live by himself. Ultimately he lived with his first wife and her new family in a sort of boarding situation.

[Kokeshi123]

I think discreetly spilled milk is a good once, as there's no way to prove it wasn't an accident.

[Kokeshi123]

I’ve fantasised about doing all sorts to my neighbour who has an absolute vendetta against me. Mostly killing her tree which she is obsessed with

I'm sorry, I'm sure this is an awful situation but you make me do a big snort laugh here!

[Pinkypink]

I am (not) sleeping next to my dd who is recovering from emergency appendicitis surgery. This thread, in particular the daffodil and @FanFckingTastic poo suggestion are making my weep from laughter

[Constantcrayfish]

Mine is a specific situation which won’t apply to most but I was in a relationship on and off for years with a man who was a shit to me. We also worked together.

When we finally broke up, I told some of our other colleagues who only knew him professionally rather than personally about some of his bad behaviour. I regretted it almost immediately as it just made me look like a bit of a cow, however ‘wronged’ I was.

After that I just lived my best life as much as possible. He got married and had a child. I was civil and briefly congratulated him on both events. But did absolutely no more. He has been absolutely desperate ever since for me to absolve him of all his sins so he can feel OK about it by being friendly to him and I just won’t. Frankly I am well past caring but I know it will bug him forever and that’s fine with me. I’m not rude to him, I just don’t interact in the way he wants me to. At social events I will reply to a hello and then politely move away to speak to someone else etc.

Since we broke up, I’ve married another colleague (one he was always deeply professionally insecure about), had a happy marriage (I know his has been difficult), left my job, done different things and now work at a far more senior level than him (his career has totally stagnated). I’m no model but I’m quite a bit younger than him and age is not being kind to him whereas I’ve grown far more confident about my looks. He lives a deeply unhealthy lifestyle and I eat well and have found a love of exercise.

I don’t kid myself that I’m on his mind very much, but I feel immense satisfaction every time I do see him and realise that my refusal to grant him performative forgiveness remains a thorn in his side. I’m also aware of various bitter comments to mutual friends over the years that suggest he is very alive to the things that have gone well for me.

[MinnieJackson]

My mum shoved prawns through the heating vents in her cheating ex's car.
When my aunty moved to a rented farm the fox hunters and hounds turned up and she let all their tyres down.

[Newestname001]

@Constantcrayfish

Sounds like the personification of "a life well lived is the sweetest revenge". 🌹

[miltonj]

@Ylvamoon

Having a greasy & expensive takeaway delivers to their address - payment in cash / by card upon arrival.
(Just ensure your number is withheld when ordering!
or cheap payg phone)

Not fair on the drivers who could get in trouble for this and could possibility lose their job.

[redtshirt50]

My ex looooved his coffee machine and it was worth around £700

when we broke up (I went through his phone and found out he was a cheating, lying scumbag) it was at my house. He asked for it back and I told him I'd thrown it in the bin in a fit of rage about all the horrible things he'd done.

He believed me and tried to make me pay for it but I refused so he eventually let it go.

Really, it was sat on my kitchen counter perfectly fine.

I considered selling it, but then I decided to keep it.

I still have it and use it to make my coffee every morning and I swear the coffee it makes tastes better than any other coffee I have.

The sweet taste of revenge!

[Penners99]

Vile neighbours, planted Japanese Knotweed in their garden the night before we moved out. They didn’t notice for over a year, cost them a fortune to get it removed.

[miltonj]

No one has to stay in a relationship with anyone. Yes it's shitty of people to cheat but some of these ideas are worse than the crime. A lot of them are illegal, they're definitely abusive snd nothing gives anyone the right to, or justifies, breaking snd entry, vandalism, Doxxing people or forcing someone to consume your bodily fluids. I know a lot of this is lighthearted but a lot isn't and it's disturbing, inhumane and pathetic.

[SusieQ5604]

In a small town near mine, the wife superglued her cheating husband's penis opening shut. He had to be taken to the hospital to get opened back up again.