To be upset what WFH has done to DH

[cappuccinoandcats]

All staff in the office where DH works are clearing their desks one morning this week. The office is going to be hotdesking and I'm praying he goes to the office for at least two days a week.
He's making all sorts of excuses. Type 2 diabetes, stairs due his bad knees etc. I'm not buying these excuses. He is currently renovating and removing plaster at the weekends, so he CAN do stairs and carry heavy loads !
He doesn't want to work with unvaccinated. He's had both jabs and I've explained the risk is miniscule.
I just want him out of the house sometime during the working week. AIBU

I think it's ludicrous to have hot desking at this time!

The virus is still spreading people are still getting ill so his employers should be ensuring as safe a work environment for their employees as possible

As for his wfh - he is unreasonable to expect peace and quiet throughout the summer holidays with a teen and another adult about! At the very least he needs to minimise the impact on others and maybe wear ear plugs?

I think it's ludicrous to have hot desking at this time!

not really, it makes sense. Reduced office space, workers not coming back full time, so sharing the work place on different days.

It should also mean ensuring no crap or personal stuff is lying around the office and desks are easily cleaned every night.

Summernightsdream has basically said most of what I would say.

OP why are you round the house all the time? Even if you are unemployed at the moment (which is what it's called when you have a non disabled teenager at school all day and no job), are you not out and about? Seeing friends, exercising, going to shops/libraries, volunteering, doing educational courses etc?

Think there needs to be compromise here. You can't make him return to an office job against his will unless you are willing to go and do that yourself. You need to make it work at home, and take turns for the living room. The 15 year old can go hang out in parks like all the other teenagers, what do they want to be at home under your watchful eye for

@PinkSparklyPussyCat
The cheek of them insisting you work from home and then reminding you about confidentiality.

CF's IMO

Do you expect their son to be out from dawn till dusk as well loveisland or is it just a punishment for the feckless unemployed amongst us?

I am with the OP on this.
DH working in room off kitchen.
He used to work abroad, so I raised DC alone and was used to my own space.He is now crisscrossing the kitchen on way to loo, whistling and playing music, long loud phone calls, asking questions about packages arriving, making snacks.
I feel it would take a powerful exorcism to get him out of the house now.
Single biggest downside of the pandemic for me.
I wish I married an astronaut, unless someone tells me that they can WFH now!

He isn't the only one OP our HR is battling to get workers back.People feel they have proven that they can do their job from home and just dont want to come back. In reality communication is breaking down. People are misreading the 'tone' of the correspondence. Where as you could just pop in the next office to confirm something you now have to wait for a while to some one to finish what they are doing, read your email, then get back to you, IF they get back to you with out chasing them.

We had a guy responding to work emails and contacting clients whilst walking round Chester zoo with his kids. HIs wife uploaded pictures on SM.

Nightmare.

I get it just be annoying having him home. Dh pissed me right off when he was wfh - I totally get it!

BUT if he is scared of working with unvaccinateds then I think you should be more sympathetic. Especially if they’re hot desking. That’s germy AF!
Perhaps he will feel better about it once more people are jabbed! Xx

Where as you could just pop in the next office to confirm something you now have to wait for a while to some one to finish what they are doing, read your email, then get back to you

Surely you’d wait until they’re finished doing what they’re working on or arrange a time for a catch up/meeting/call rather than just interrupting them?

He isn't the only one OP our HR is battling to get workers back.People feel they have proven that they can do their job from home and just dont want to come back.

The current government advice is still to WFH anyway.

Where as you could just pop in the next office to confirm something you now have to wait for a while to some one to finish what they are doing, read your email, then get back to you and this is why WFH is so much more efficient for some of us...

@MaMelon

Where as you could just pop in the next office to confirm something you now have to wait for a while to some one to finish what they are doing, read your email, then get back to you

Surely you’d wait until they’re finished doing what they’re working on or arrange a time for a catch up/meeting/call rather than just interrupting them?

No trust me, the best thing about wfh is that you don’t get interrupted.

The amount of people who think it’s acceptable to March over and demand something and demand it now. People like this though are just bad at time management 😉 but that doesn’t mean to say I have to rearrange my time to compensate.

Lavenderandwisteria

I'd expect the 15 year old to go to school from 8.30 to 3.15pm.

And in the summer holidays he only needs to piss off to the park if he wants to see his friends, and even then only til 5.30 when the working day ends . Otherwise I'd expect he'll probably be quietly doing whatever teenagers do in their bedroom all the bloody time that makes it smell so bad. I certainly wouldnt expect him to be hanging out with his mother constantly.

@FatSams

Also, if your son is 15 surely he is at school during your DHs working hours? And where do you go if he has friends round?

At 15yo, he is probably at home having finished his GCSE?

But anyway it’s not JUST about today or this week. It’s about the whole organisation, the lack of privacy and the fact you can never have time on your own doing your own things.

Calling the GP or a counsellor? I’ve ended up ‘hidding’ in my car because there isn’t a place in the house that feels private enough.
I can’t listen to music, the one I like but DH doesn’t, because he spends most of his time on meetings. I can’t relax in the living room because he is there working.
And the biggest issue for me is that it has been done with the assumption I am happy with it long term, not just for lockdowns. He never stopped to ask if I was happy with the new arrangement. He never stopped to ask himself if this was an issue for me.

So yes, I can see how @cappuccinoandcats is getting pissed off about it.

Maybe he wants you out the house 🤣

He sounds lazy and comfortable. If he has been vaccinated and isn't vulnerable there's no excuse. Time for him to stop commandeering your space.

I can’t listen to music, the one I like but DH doesn’t

Headphones are a fabulous invention created for exactly this purpose

PixieLaLa exactly!

I don't get why OP gets to have first dibs on it lol.

@SallyCinnabon No trust me, the best thing about wfh is that you don’t get interrupted

Oh I’m with totally with you! I love wfh for that very reason - I am so much more productive and focused without the constant interruptions and inane chat masquerading as ‘collaboration’. I was just responding to @Scrambledcustard who seemed to suggest interrupting colleagues was more acceptable than waiting for them to finish what they’re working on before responding to her emails.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Lavenderandwisteria

I'd expect the 15 year old to go to school from 8.30 to 3.15pm.

And in the summer holidays he only needs to piss off to the park if he wants to see his friends, and even then only til 5.30 when the working day ends . Otherwise I'd expect he'll probably be quietly doing whatever teenagers do in their bedroom all the bloody time that makes it smell so bad. I certainly wouldnt expect him to be hanging out with his mother constantly.

You also wouldn’t expect him to be on the Xbox playing with friends in the living room Or. Having friends around etc… Nope meeting friends is only allowed at the park, even. If it’s raining/they want play the Xbox together/they want to hang around comfortably

I can see plenty of reasons why a teen would find those rules a pain tbh.

Time for him to stop commandeering your space.

Seriously? Wtf?! Why is it "her space"?

He lives there and has every bit as much right to use that space as her. Her relaxing limits his ability to work. His working limits her ability to relax.

He could work elsewhere (the office). She could relax elsewhere (the gym, the bedroom, the garden, a nice cafe, a friends house, the library).

The point is they need to compromise and take turns with that space.

If it’s raining/they want play the Xbox together/they want to hang around comfortably

He has friends who also have houses presumably. So really only needs to host them all at his maybe once a week.

Spending time at home isn’t ‘hanging out with your mother’.

It’s just being at home.

And if their big important dads are all WFH?

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I can’t listen to music, the one I like but DH doesn’t

Headphones are a fabulous invention created for exactly this purpose

MaBe I don’t want headphones? I mean I don’t even have headphones!

Why should it me making all the allowances?
No one asked me if the set up was ok for me. During the lockdown etc.. fair enough.
But as a LT arrangement, I believe this should be discussed. Incl the fact it has a negative impact on me (just like the OP)

[quote billy1966]@PinkSparklyPussyCat
The cheek of them insisting you work from home and then reminding you about confidentiality.

CF's IMO[/quote]
My point is they don't take circumstances into account! If they expect us to work from home they have to realise privacy isn't always possible as other people are there. It can't be helped if DH hears my side of the conversation!