To be upset what WFH has done to DH

[cappuccinoandcats]

All staff in the office where DH works are clearing their desks one morning this week. The office is going to be hotdesking and I'm praying he goes to the office for at least two days a week.
He's making all sorts of excuses. Type 2 diabetes, stairs due his bad knees etc. I'm not buying these excuses. He is currently renovating and removing plaster at the weekends, so he CAN do stairs and carry heavy loads !
He doesn't want to work with unvaccinated. He's had both jabs and I've explained the risk is miniscule.
I just want him out of the house sometime during the working week. AIBU

[khakiandcoral]

Again, I don't agree with hogging the living room and everybody living on tip toes. Separate room is more than a reasonable solution.

That said, how hard is it to do your chores out of office hours? No need to push everything back to the weekend, it's really a poor excuse.

Can’t have the music on whilst cleaning
Headphones?

They have to be more involved in childcare because the DW is off with friends or at the gym etc…
Surely week time is the perfect time for time, why does it have to be pushed to the weekend?
You expect someone to work full time and have more chores at the weekend because their work in the house is disturbing the leisure time of the other? Seriously?

I am reading the point of view, and I stand by it, some of the excuses are pathetic. Most of us had to work full time AND homeschool AND take care of house and life during lockdowns. You all have to make reasonable compromise and adjustments so it works for everybody.

Apart from the poster whose bedroom is already set up in the living room and can't magic any more space, expecting to have sole use of the house during the day is just as ridiculous as expecting sole use of the living room, even if at least it's done to pay the bills.

[khakiandcoral]

The best staff don’t walk out of the door, because the best staff aren’t the ones arguing the virtues of WFH.

that's debatable.

You can't generalise because it's simply not true!

[Conchitastrawberry]

Yanbu, as much as I love my husband him being at home all day, every day would drive us both bonkers. He needs to get back out there.

[Mumgonenuts2020]

It has made me realise over the last couple of years since having the children, I remember when we were looking after the children and working in a office. I temped on and off for a few years, now I am at home due to Covid I am not earning and keep saying at Interviews, I can come in every day from 9.30 until 2.30 every day!! Tick all the boxes and keep getting automated messages, Thanks but no thanks!! I would love a job where I can go to the office a few days per week, Hot desking will be the new way of working, if it is Laptops and printer and you just have to plug them in, in terms of stationery no one have much anymore, There will be a cleaner again probably where they will clean desks every night!! it will be likely to be regular meetings and then system work at home, think of it like the Kids with Home Learning Dilemas!! if he is worried about dirty mugs etc, then take a plastic cup with a lid on from home and take it in, wash it before coming home just like a water Bottle!! 😄😄

[Kidsgrownup]

Big responsibility earning to pay the mortgage etc. You both need o sort it out so he can work comfortably.

[KeepingTrack]

@khakiandcoral 🤣🤣 yawn

You might right dear.

[KeepingTrack]

Btw @khakiandcoral we are nit in lockdown anymore.
Some people are still wfh but a lot are told to go back to the office, at least part time.
In the next few months, wfh will not be the automatic ‘this is how things are because there is no other choice’.

One we are out if that phase, THEN the need to bend over backwards and especially to ask one partner to bend over backwards for the others are GONE.

Time to have discussion on what is and isn’t possible, what sort if compromise can be reached FROM BOTH PARTIES. And to stop assuming that wfh is the default position.

This starts by listening to what other people are doing, what’s sort of issues they have WO automatically dismissing their issues as inconsequential. Just because it fits your agenda.

[timeisnotaline]

@khakiandcoral

The best staff don’t walk out of the door, because the best staff aren’t the ones arguing the virtues of WFH.

that's debatable.

You can't generalise because it's simply not true!

Bahaa I must have had good employers. No one would ever have made the best staff argue re wfh because they aren’t running a military academy and that’s not how you get the best out of people. The best staff work effectively across office and home all hours of the week and weekend as things come up.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

The best staff work effectively across office and home all hours of the week and weekend as things come up.

Good employers don't expect staff to work all hours and at the weekends if this is outside their working hours!

[thesevenhillsofhome]

Supermarkets never closed. All shops re-opened a while ago, restaurants etc.
So office staff need to get back too

[Thewarrenerswife]

Don’t be so naive. People get sacked up and down the country every day of the week, by very progressive and professional environments. Trust me, bad attitudes do not cut it in any company for long.

I am totally gleeful that they are both still unemployed… and in contradiction to timeisnotaline notion that everyone sacked will find employment elsewhere and employers who sack will repent at their leisure 😂

We have employees who have been with us for over 25years. We offer a good working environment and care greatly for our employees. So what do I do that enables me to sack employees to readily - it’s simple, I run my own business. I pay managers to manage - that’s what we do in the private sector. It’s only the frivolity of the public sector that would pay a manager a higher amount, only to tie their hands from managing with red tape.

[khakiandcoral]

@thesevenhillsofhome

Supermarkets never closed. All shops re-opened a while ago, restaurants etc.
So office staff need to get back too

They don't need to do anything, the comparison with other businesses and industries is completely irrelevant.

I can feel some jealousy that some workers are able to work efficiently and happily from home, and for many it's for the long term - again, businesses who have sold or moved from their offices won't need anyone on site anymore, there is no site left .

Forcing people to come in the office for the sake of it is a complete waste of time and resources. We are lucky many companies have moved on from this. Anyone is welcome to change job if they want to WFH, instead of resenting those who do.

Even if some posters are trying very hard to convince themselves it's reasonable to kick a full-time worker out of the house so they can watch day time tv in peace! It really is not...

[MaMelon]

It’s only the frivolity of the public sector that would pay a manager a higher amount, only to tie their hands from managing with red tape

You lost the last sliver of remaining credibility you had with that nonsense.

[Thewarrenerswife]

@khakiandcoral

“ Forcing people to come in the office for the sake of it is a complete waste of time and resources. We are lucky many companies have moved on from this. Anyone is welcome to change job if they want to WFH, instead of resenting those who do”

I don’t think anyone is resentful. In fact many employees (those who like to get dressed before mid day and aren’t impartial to morning telly) want to get back to the office.

You are assuming that all roles can be done from home and or that all employees are capable of working from home. They’re not. The OP’s husband may well be one of these.

I think @KeepingTrack has hit the nail on the head, in that the next 6 months will see a big shift. Many employers left in the back foot with extended lockdowns etc will gain some confidence in drawing staff back into the workplace - if they feel it’s required.

We have continued operating throughout the pandemic, so had our bumps in the road at the very beginning. But speaking to other businesses who locked down or turned everything over to working remotely, there is a frustration with getting employees back where they need them.

[timeisnotaline]

@Thewarrenerswife

Don’t be so naive. People get sacked up and down the country every day of the week, by very progressive and professional environments. Trust me, bad attitudes do not cut it in any company for long.

I am totally gleeful that they are both still unemployed… and in contradiction to timeisnotaline notion that everyone sacked will find employment elsewhere and employers who sack will repent at their leisure 😂

We have employees who have been with us for over 25years. We offer a good working environment and care greatly for our employees. So what do I do that enables me to sack employees to readily - it’s simple, I run my own business. I pay managers to manage - that’s what we do in the private sector. It’s only the frivolity of the public sector that would pay a manager a higher amount, only to tie their hands from managing with red tape.

Not everyone. All the good employees. Of course they will find other jobs.

[DolphinFC]

What a horrible man!

Two awful things he's doing:

Spending time in his own home.
Earning money for the family.

Bastard!

[Bodynegative]

To all those saying the risk is minimal, its not as unlikely as you may think and I feel the OP's DH has a point. I've had both my vaccinations, my second was in April. I've been shielding for the last year and still hardly go anywhere yet I tested positive about 4 weeks ago after spending time with my grandchildren. I'm currently having difficulty with my breathing and am being monitored and hope I'll not have to go into hospital. I've managed to avoid it up to now. The only upside is that I'm profoundly grateful that I'd had my vaccine which I am sure prevented more serious issues or even death. However as the virus is spreading mainly among the young, he is probably more likely to get infected by his DS at home than in his office

[Shelddd]

@Bodynegative

To all those saying the risk is minimal, its not as unlikely as you may think and I feel the OP's DH has a point. I've had both my vaccinations, my second was in April. I've been shielding for the last year and still hardly go anywhere yet I tested positive about 4 weeks ago after spending time with my grandchildren. I'm currently having difficulty with my breathing and am being monitored and hope I'll not have to go into hospital. I've managed to avoid it up to now. The only upside is that I'm profoundly grateful that I'd had my vaccine which I am sure prevented more serious issues or even death. However as the virus is spreading mainly among the young, he is probably more likely to get infected by his DS at home than in his office

This is what is happening across the country. People are super super careful in the public (which they're already super unlikely to catch anything let alone covid from) and then they go see family (where they're highest risk) and are not careful at all and catch it from them. I blame the government personally, the restrictions and focus has been on preventing spread from strangers when that has never been any significant form of transmission.

Workplaces can be significant sources of transmission though, just really depends on nature of work and how many precautions they are taking.

[Shelddd]

Also wasn't trying to single you out. I'm also doing the same, pretty careful when out and about but then still seeing family and spending extended time with them which if I catch it, it'll definitely be from that.

[AgathaMystery]

@cappuccinoandcats

Because he works in the living room. No space anywhere else.
Because we have to be quiet when he's working.
I want my living room back.
DS (15) wants to have friends round in summer but can't if DH is WFH.

SAME. I could have written this. Month 16 here of DH WFH in the living room. We have a wee office, he refuses to use it.

I need him to go to the office 2 days a week. I am out the house 3 weekdays min, WFH the other days/hrs. I need some time in my home.

[MangoBiscuit]

@AgathaMystery if you have a home office and he's refusing to use it, I would warn him, gently, that the living room is a shared space, and will be used as such, and then just crack on using it.

I would bloody love a tiny little home office, but sadly no room. Living room desk and a good pair of headphones for me.

[KittyMcV]

I hate and loathe the whole WFH culture. I think it exasperbates inequalities and causes problems in families. For some it works very well and for others it's a nightmare.

[SofiaMichelle]

Just catching up with this thread again.

I took it that OP was also WFH, but looks like I've imagined that?

If OP is unemployed (as PPs have said) then presumably things will be resolved when she's working again.

[thesevenhillsofhome]

My work has nothing to do with this. It's not being able to use our home as a home

[Abracadabra12345]

@KittyMcV

I hate and loathe the whole WFH culture. I think it exasperbates inequalities and causes problems in families. For some it works very well and for others it's a nightmare.

True.

Three of my nearest neighbours wfh so I hear the endless, booming Zoom calls whenever we’re in the garden throughout the day. These are new things. I don’t think they will be returning to wo from what they’ve said.

I have enormous sympathy for the OP. Wfh in a designated room away from the communal space is one thing. Manspreading in the living room day after day must be difficult. Don’t people value distance in their relationships? Isn’t that healthy?