To save a bit of the meal for my own DD?

[FathersDayMeal]

I am going to my dads tomorrow to cook a meal for me, my DF and sibling for Father’s Day. I’m a single parent and my own DD (aged almost 7) will be with my ExH for the day (as is right).

I have paid for everything to do with the meal and will be cooking it in my slow cooker tonight. The only thing I will do at my DFs is cook the vegetables and finish off the meat in his oven to crisp it and warm it up. The only ingredients my DF or sibling will provide is the condiments like mustard, and the plates it’ll be eaten off, that’s it.

When arranging the meal I said I was happy to pay for it all but I would like to save a bit of meat and vegetables for DD – it should be my weekend with her and I always do us a roast dinner, ExH will not feed her (I provide for her on his weekends as well) so she will have the roast when she comes home. I thought this was a fair compromise, my DD eats very little so there will still be loads for my DF and sibling.

My DF is fine with this but my sibling thinks that because DD won’t be at the meal she shouldn’t get any. They think ExH should feed her which I agree with but the only time ExH ever feeds DD is if they go passed a mcdonalds on the way to or from somewhere - there’s a big park about 15 miles from us he likes to take DD to and they go on the way back from there as there isn’t a mcdonalds in our town), never any other time apart from maybe a sandwich – he has her for 1 overnight EOW and I send meals for him to reheat for DD otherwise he gives her a ham sandwich and not much else.

So AIBU to expect some of the meal I am paying for and cooking to be given to my DD?

Or is my Sibling right and I should make her a seperate meal when she comes back from ExHs?

YANBU - Save some food
YABU - Make something else later

Sod your sibling and his 'anxiety issues'. Feed your DD and let sibling stuff his anxiety up his bum.

Sorry, no patience with these so-called issues.

@nimbuscloud

Words fail me Your sibling is an arsehole So is your ex

Yeah, this!

I understand cooking for your dad for Father's Day but surely your sibling is only a guest at that meal (even if they live with your DD) and has no say.

I sense your sibling is male. Maybe.
I sense you have underlying anxiety issues too. Possibly.
Your ex is a lazy dad. Most definitely.

Nothing to do with your sibling.

Your sibling is a dick, as is your ex. They are both selfish snd crap

Anxiety?! If he/she is anxious about there not being enough food they could :

• do the cooking
• bring lots of side dishes
• eat a massive huge breakfast to be sure
• bring a baguette with butter

Why are you running around catering for all the men in your life?

Does having a penis preclude them from cooking meals?

This is one of the most batshit posts I’ve read in recent times and I really hope it’s a wind up. Surely no-one would want their daughter growing up thinking their role in life is to facilitate the bone idleness of lazy men?

OP, this isn’t the 19th century!

You are not being unreasonable at all. It is a lovely thing you are doing for your father and others, and it’s totally reasonable to keep some of the meal aside for your DD. Aside from the fact that she likes roast, this saves you cooking a second meal tonight, because you’ll probably we worn out. You’re a lovely daughter and mum

Who is unreasonable, as you are doubtless aware, is your ex DH, not being willing or able to feed his own child.

Fucking hell. Who begrudges their niece some dinner?

Your siblings are very strange.

I highly doubt this would even be a conversation in most family's. I would just dish my dc a plate to warm when I get home and none of my siblings would think anything of it.

@UpSlyDown

YANBU but also your ex sounds like an arsehole and needs to feed his own child properly.

Agreed.

It's really odd your sister would have an issue with this. You've paid for it and cooked it and it's definitely not up to her if you keep some for your child. Just save some food and don't worry about it! But tbf your ex sounds a bit pants. Surely he can cook something for his child? Not just today, I mean anytime he has her. Even just a pizza or something?

Don’t understand why you’d even mention this to your dad and sibling. You’re cooking the food at your home, just keep some for your dd, no need to mention to anyone. Your sibling is right that your ex is useless.

I think it's unanimous about keeping food for your DD

Can we move onto the more important bit where your DDs dad doesn't feed her? I mean wtaf.
Why not, Does he live on a park bench or something?

Exactly this. I think you sound like a people pleaser and a doormat with no backbone. Perhaps you need to do some work on your self esteem and assertiveness.

Not even sure why you would even discuss this with sibling. Non issue. Cut off a bit before you go, job done.

Your ex is bloody useless. Yanbu at all - save some leftovers for your dc!

Why are they being so petty?? It’s just about sharing a meal with a child! Can anything be more beautiful than that????

God what a weird post. Why would anyone object to this, why would you even discuss it with your sibling - all very stranger

This really a a non-issue....unless there’s sone kind of backstory

I think you hit the nail on the head she is terrified of not having enough for her.
Most addicts don't like sharing their fix- foods being Dsis fix.

Don’t discuss it any further, just set some aside.

I mean don’t discuss it with them - discuss here all you like!

Sibling needs to fuck off and be told it isn’t “siblings day”

So your dad and sibling think you should provide for them and not your daughter? It wouldn't even be a question. You're making it, you feed who you want with it.

Ahhh... Mcdonalds the go to home of the deadbeat father.

(Disclaimer: I have nothing against Mcdonalds and eat there myself sometimes with DH and kids, its just funny every half assed part time father I knows only go to is automatically Mcdonalds like they would be lost without it lol)