To save a bit of the meal for my own DD?

[FathersDayMeal]

I am going to my dads tomorrow to cook a meal for me, my DF and sibling for Father’s Day. I’m a single parent and my own DD (aged almost 7) will be with my ExH for the day (as is right).

I have paid for everything to do with the meal and will be cooking it in my slow cooker tonight. The only thing I will do at my DFs is cook the vegetables and finish off the meat in his oven to crisp it and warm it up. The only ingredients my DF or sibling will provide is the condiments like mustard, and the plates it’ll be eaten off, that’s it.

When arranging the meal I said I was happy to pay for it all but I would like to save a bit of meat and vegetables for DD – it should be my weekend with her and I always do us a roast dinner, ExH will not feed her (I provide for her on his weekends as well) so she will have the roast when she comes home. I thought this was a fair compromise, my DD eats very little so there will still be loads for my DF and sibling.

My DF is fine with this but my sibling thinks that because DD won’t be at the meal she shouldn’t get any. They think ExH should feed her which I agree with but the only time ExH ever feeds DD is if they go passed a mcdonalds on the way to or from somewhere - there’s a big park about 15 miles from us he likes to take DD to and they go on the way back from there as there isn’t a mcdonalds in our town), never any other time apart from maybe a sandwich – he has her for 1 overnight EOW and I send meals for him to reheat for DD otherwise he gives her a ham sandwich and not much else.

So AIBU to expect some of the meal I am paying for and cooking to be given to my DD?

Or is my Sibling right and I should make her a seperate meal when she comes back from ExHs?

YANBU - Save some food
YABU - Make something else later

@MrsWhites

I don’t even understand why this is even a conversation? Of course you should keep some food for your child? What the fuck has it got to do with your siblings, I would suggest you tell them if they don’t like it to cook their own bloody dinner!

Couldn’t agree more ^

I'm sorry to hear you have two such wankers in your life.

Appalling that your ex doesn't feed your child. Should she be going somewhere she doesn't get fed properly?

And your sibling sounds like an utter shit. Eats a lot? Greedy fucker, you mean?

Playing Devil's advocate but maybe you are an incredible cook and your sibling is hoping to eat left overs?

Seriously though, you paid and cooked for the meal so do what you like. You don't need a reason to take the leftovers home.

If you've been cooking the meal in your slow cooker overnight, why not just take out a portion for your DD and put it in the fridge before you go ? It would save the silly argument with your sibling.

Surely unless the sibling is paying for and/or cooking the meal they don’t even get a say?
Even if they do it’s weird to begrudge your DC a meal. Nowt to do with them at all.

How odd

And your sibling sounds like an utter shit. Eats a lot? Greedy fucker, you mean?

I am a greedy fucker and eat a lot. I'd still rather go short than my DN not get a nice dinner because she is with deadbeat dad even if I had to go to the chippy afterwards

Bit unfair to tell OP to insist on the dad feeding his child. She can't force him to do anything.She has maybe resigned herself to feeding the DD good healthy food and knowing that she will snack on crap when she is at her dad's. OP is not in the wrong here.

How did it go today, @FathersDayMeal? Hope you were able to save your child some of your food and you had a good day? 🌹

OmG. Why are. You asking. Jst take a plate out before you go end off

I do hope you've told your sibling that s/he is catering next year?

How bloody misery is your sibling.

@nimbuscloud

Words fail me Your sibling is an arsehole So is your ex

Seconded!

Why did you even discuss the matter. Its your food your choice.

But late to the ‘party !’ But yes defo make her some - your sibling clearly hasn’t got children and the budget constraints- yes the father should cook get her food - but he isn’t going to so get the ‘spare dinner !’

Defo strange sibling

@MrsWhites

I don’t even understand why this is even a conversation? Of course you should keep some food for your child? What the fuck has it got to do with your siblings, I would suggest you tell them if they don’t like it to cook their own bloody dinner!

^This. Astonished that this is even a question you would need to consider.

Just take the meat already sliced up. Much easier. None of sibling's business and ex should be feeding his child anyway. x

Get the sibling to cook the father's day meal and you cook for your daughter. Sorted

You just tell her what's going to happen, not ask her! Sibling eats a lot does she? Is she overweight? Does she not care about anyone else's except her own stomach?

Your child’s dad needs to go on a few parenting and cooking courses.

Your siblings are weird just take what you want for your child.

Funny how the only person at the meal who adds nothing, neither food or venue, is the one who begrudges the cook saving some for his own niece.

Of course you should have put some aside to nourish your daughter. Tell bro when he provides food, cooks it and also the venue, he can be miserly and begrudging about sharing anything with his niece.

You paid for the meal so not your sibling's concern. Not sure why you need to ask permission from them to save some. Put DD's meal aside first.

Agree with others that it’s odd to ask permission to give your own food to your own child. Why is this a question?

Why have you even mentioned it to anyone I find this quite a strange post tbh

I hope you told your sibling to butt out and mind their own business - no idea why you even asked their opinion when they too were being fed by you!

YANBU - of course save some for your dd
But...... your exh should also be providing suitable meals for your daughter when he is with her. I would absolutely not send her with a packed lunch etc - Its his day with her, he should be ensuring she eats (and preferably not McDonalds!)