To save a bit of the meal for my own DD?

[FathersDayMeal]

I am going to my dads tomorrow to cook a meal for me, my DF and sibling for Father’s Day. I’m a single parent and my own DD (aged almost 7) will be with my ExH for the day (as is right).

I have paid for everything to do with the meal and will be cooking it in my slow cooker tonight. The only thing I will do at my DFs is cook the vegetables and finish off the meat in his oven to crisp it and warm it up. The only ingredients my DF or sibling will provide is the condiments like mustard, and the plates it’ll be eaten off, that’s it.

When arranging the meal I said I was happy to pay for it all but I would like to save a bit of meat and vegetables for DD – it should be my weekend with her and I always do us a roast dinner, ExH will not feed her (I provide for her on his weekends as well) so she will have the roast when she comes home. I thought this was a fair compromise, my DD eats very little so there will still be loads for my DF and sibling.

My DF is fine with this but my sibling thinks that because DD won’t be at the meal she shouldn’t get any. They think ExH should feed her which I agree with but the only time ExH ever feeds DD is if they go passed a mcdonalds on the way to or from somewhere - there’s a big park about 15 miles from us he likes to take DD to and they go on the way back from there as there isn’t a mcdonalds in our town), never any other time apart from maybe a sandwich – he has her for 1 overnight EOW and I send meals for him to reheat for DD otherwise he gives her a ham sandwich and not much else.

So AIBU to expect some of the meal I am paying for and cooking to be given to my DD?

Or is my Sibling right and I should make her a seperate meal when she comes back from ExHs?

YANBU - Save some food
YABU - Make something else later

Oh my god. How is this a question? How miserly and greedy is your sibling! I can't believe there are people like this out there! Don't even get me started on your ex not feeding his own child.

Just stumbled upon this thread and I must say I'm lost for words!! Just WTAF .

@FathersDayMeal - do you mind popping back and providing an update? I really hope you just set aside a plate of the food YOU'D bought and cooked.

Your sibling sounds like a spoilt idiot! Also, your ex sound like a waster!

YANBU but your sibling is right in that your ex should be providing your daughter food when she is at his. Are you sure that's not all they meant, not that they object to you saving some as such?

Bet your sib was counting on leftovers. Save some for DD, and let your sib tend to their own anxieties. You are providing the meal, and do not need to justify this at all. IF they were paying a full half, even more so, 2/3 (since there are two of them and one of you), I might feel that they had some say, but were being selfish twits.

There was really no need to even mention it to your sibling. It wouldn't have occurred to me to even think it needs discussing. I'd just put some aside and that's that. Your sibling is being very odd for having an opinion on it. It's none of their business. They should just be grateful you're cooking for them. Your daughter's dad sounds a bit useless.

Your XP should be feeding your daughter when he has her. That's the issue here.

She must spend her time with him being starving, other than your lunchboxes from home or whatever. That's not right. And you're OK with that?

I can see why your siblings are WTF about it but of course you should save some food for her because she might not get fed otherwise.

As harsh as it is, your sibling needs to eat less and get over themselves. Imagine depriving a child over a few spoonfuls of food. How utterly pathetic.

Your ex also sounds like a piece of work but you’re aware of that and I feel awful for you that you have to step up so much because he’s so useless.

You’re doing nothing wrong.

Take whatever you want for your daughter from the food YOU bought and prepared, Don’t ask permission from people who didn’t buy or prepare it. And for goodness sakes tell your ex he either feeds his daughter properly himself or she doesn’t go there anymore and if he wants to get the authorities involved you’ll happily tell them about his neglect (because it is) of her needs. Grow a pair

I am sorry - I do not understand. Are you saying your little girl’s Aunty or Uncle is grudging their niece a bit of food?

If this is real - I mean - words entirely fail me.

But then again I have my suspicions about this thread.

🤷‍♀️ call me a cynic.

You just do what you want as you're providing and cooking. I dont know why you even mentioned it to your sibling!

@NavigationCentral

But then again I have my suspicions about this thread.

🤷‍♀️ call me a cynic.

A - It's none of your sibling's business, anxiety or no anxiety.

B - I'm not sure that it is right to send your DD to spend time with someone who will not feed her!

@FathersDayMeal

Sibling eats a lot and has anxiety issues so probably worries there won't be enough for everyone but I bought a piece of meat that in theory should feed 8 and DD eats less than a quarter of what I do so I only need to feed 3 people really with the meat.

"My DF is fine with this but my sibling thinks that because DD won’t be at the meal she shouldn’t get any."

Your sibling needs to get some help with their anxiety issues and stop trying to make everyone else dance to their tune. I mean, really - they're essentially happy to take the food out of a 7 year old's mouth here.

Wtf - who are the 2%??!

@CrankyFrankie

Wtf - who are the 2%??!

They probably voted YABU for the ridiculousness of the situation, and the OP asking if she can feed her own daughter with food she’s bought and cooked.

@UpSlyDown

YANBU but also your ex sounds like an arsehole and needs to feed his own child properly.

This. The whole thing is so strange. Maybe your sibling is more making a point about your ex?

OP hasn’t been back since page 1 and this is still going…? (Yes I realise I am bumping the thread…)

Your sibling should express nothing but gratitude for the portion you give them.

Surely it's up to you to do what you want with food you are paying for and will be cooking? How has your sister even got an opinion on this? None of her business, and I hope she's grateful for the free, cooked meal.

This whole thing is bizarre.

1. I am confused why you provide meals for your DD when she's with her father!

1. Why on earth would your sibling be bothered about you giving a small piece of meat and veg (that you paid for!) to your own child.

1. What made you think you needed to ask permission or even bring it up?

I felt like it to be honest haha. This whole thing is odd!

both your sibling and your ex are awful.

YANBU.
It’s none of your siblings business. Yes, your daughters father should be doing a bit more parenting here but that’s not your sisters business to be meddling in.