DH thinks this is disgusting

[ScottsThots]

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

Living with someone who wants to pee in a potty and leave it standing all night is nothing like watching someone in Labour or changing a babies nappy. There’s nothing to suggest OPs dh is being unreasonable he just doesn’t want to step over an open bowl of piss on his landing every morning.

open bowl of piss
Travel potty WITH A LID.

Can’t help with why you think her DH is having to step over it each day, there’s nothing in the OP to suggest she’s placed it bang in the middle with an obstacle course around it, but she seems fairly bright so just possibly it’s off to one side.

My husband used to help me get off the bed and to the potty every night and empty it out when I'd gone (I did have pelvic girdle pain though but I'm sure he'd have done it anyway).

I think you're being perfectly reasonable!

Good grief. I’m really quite astonished at all the ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ types on here, including your DH.
‘Stagnant piss’? ‘Grim’? It’s just a bit of wee. Have these people never left an unflushed loo overnight so as not to wake up sleeping kids or whatever?
It’s not as if she’s dropping turds on the hall carpet because she’s too lazy to walk downstairs!
I don’t know how your husband is going to cope with a new baby (and the inevitable shit tsunami from arse to neck that happens from time to time), but you sound very sensible and practical, OP, so I’m sure you’ll manage just fine while he faints clean away clutching his pearls

With a lid is better (I’d missed that), but I still honestly would hate dh doing that so wouldn’t do it to him. It’s not unusual to expect people to pee in the bathroom, with the door shut, then flush and wash their hands.

It is absolutely fine and he needs to get over himself. You do whatever is safe and convenient for you.

if he thinks a bit of stale wee is disgusting what the fuck is he gonna do while you are in labour?
there will be sick, poo, blood, possibly meconium in the amniotic fluid squirting out of you...plus you'll be in pain, screaming & swearing...

he'll wish for just a bowl of innocent urine at night!

It's not disgusting in the slightest. It's perfectly fine for camping, so why not at home?

As a child I stayed with my grandparents who had a pot on the landing for nighttime, as they only had an outside toilet.

Tell him to grow up and stop being such a knob.

I would honestly consider moving downstairs if you’re not coping at 33 weeks. Post birth you may find it much harder to get to the loo, and will be bleeding heavily and usually carrying a mini person

It’s not unusual to expect people to pee in the bathroom, with the door shut, then flush and wash their hands.

The bathroom is downstairs & the OP is having to negotiate them 3-4 times at night.

I have a downstairs loo (3 flights of stairs down) and used it throughout pregnancy including when I had SPD. It really wasn’t a big deal. It is really important to stay active in the last few weeks as it helps with recovery. Unless you have a specific medical condition that means you have been advised not to take stairs, it is something you should try to do. I had a c section and was up and about in a day which I think was helped by staying active. I should also say that I am not at all fit.

@iklboo The bathroom is downstairs & the OP is having to negotiate them 3-4 times at night. well yes, she isn’t the first person to live with a downstairs loo.. It’s not something I find even remotely attractive as a solution to her problem. As I said I’d sleep downstairs if I really couldn’t manage the stairs as it’s going to be months including post birth.

Practical advice @ScottsThots - have you tried picking up your bump while on the loo after you’ve finished peeing? More comes out. I read this on a Reddit pregnancy advice forum and it was a game changer, reduced my number of loo visits hugely!

Does he not know that for over 99% of human history nobody had a flush toilet in or near their home?

Even just 50 years ago thousands of home still had no inside toilet.

People have used chamber pots for 99% of the time we've lived in houses!

Tell him to grow up.

LOL, wait til you start pushing his baby out of your body along with the contents of your rectum.

@Mammyloveswine nailed it

I think when he had to go through 9 months of pregnancy then his opinion counts...

Wait until DH encounters a poonami from the baby!!

Only then he will understand what disgusting really means. As for cleaning it up, he really won't know where to start. Baby can literally be coated from head to toe in shit.

Totally normal OP. I did the same!
Now we're older DH does this (men's travel bottle) as older men get fed up with needing a wee 4 times a night too... Tell your DH he will get a pass to not go downstairs in the night when he's older

How is he going to cope with the baby weeing on him?

It's fine!
He will get over it.
I've got 3 kids and I wee weed in a bucket during DS2 clingy stage
( I was working full time and co sleeping... was easier than waking him up )

What's disgusting is his thinking that this is more disgusting than you falling down the stairs. He really needs to think more before trying to lay shame on you!

@ILoveAnOwl

I once weed in an empty ice cream tub in my friend's kitchen when pregnant. There was only one loo in the house. Someone was having a shower. I was DESPERATE. So I crouched in his kitchen, prayed that noone else would come in and did a wee in an ice cream tub. And I nearly filled it.

The above is disgusting (but was also entirely necessary). What you're doing is totally fine!

Good for you

We've only got 1 bathroom and it's far from bedroom. I need a weeusyally twice in the night
So I put puppy pad down and use an external Uri Al device I got off Amazon. It is used standing up.you have to hold white firmly but it's great, I soak with water and Toilet Duck after use.

Tell him it's either potty or you wake him up EVERY time you go so he can support you up and down the stairs

OP, Ha, if he thinks this is disgusting, parenting will hit him hard 😂 soon you’ll both get very familiar with other human’s bodily fluids 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

If he thinks a pot of wee is disgusting he is in for a big surprise with both childbirth and the little bundle of joy that poos, wees and spews that results from it.

Also I was in horrific pain when walking the final month and a half of pregnancy, and I think if my toilet were downstairs in our house I'd have had to sleep downstairs (travel loo would not have occurred to me! Smart!)