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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks this is disgusting

409 replies

ScottsThots · 19/06/2021 14:11

Feel free to absolutely let me have it but me out please.
We live in a house with a downstairs toilet/bathroom which is the absolute bane of my existence 🙄
I'm 33 weeks pregnant so I feel like I need to have a wee basically every half hour these days. I've been managing going downstairs every night when I wake up for the past few months but I've reached the end of my tether. I just can't do it anymore 😭😭 My back aches, my bump is in the way, I'm exhausted and nauseated and I'm just ready to have baby already 😑
I need multiple trips to the toilet and I just can handle going downstairs that many times in one night.

So yes I have bought myself a little travel potty with a lid which I use. 🙈🙈🙈
It's out on the landing so not in our bedroom and I empty it and clean it first thing in the morning I swear!

It's made such a difference to me but DH thinks it's absolutely disgusting.
I know he has every right to think that but what would you do in my shoes 😅 AIBU?

I also nearly tripped on the stairs a few times because I'm half asleep going down them.
We're currently house hunting and definitely won't be making the same mistake going for downstairs loo.

OP posts:
Twocanplay · 19/06/2021 22:25

Not something I would do but its your choice!

nimbuscloud · 20/06/2021 00:42

How can you squat over a potty with the back ache so bad you can’t go downstairs?

MrsFlinch · 20/06/2021 02:04

In my experience any house that has a downstairs bathroom also has a very steep narrow staircase. And the bathroom is usually located at the back of the house next to the kitchen so not just a case of nipping down the stairs to the downstairs loo (not bathroom) which is usually at the bottom of the stairs next to the front door in modern houses.
My granny had bedpans in the bedroom for this very reason!

Also I know when I need the loo during the night, I navigate my way to the toilet with my eyes closed, pee, wipe, straight back to bed. No switching light on, closing doors, flushing or washing hands. I know that might horrify some of you but I’d be wide awake And wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep if I did.
If I had to navigate the stairs with a pregnancy bump and bladder as well, Several times a night I’d be fucked as I wouldn’t bloody sleep.

I’d also not be sleeping on the sofa at that stage in pregnancy. You need to rest properly.
Theres nothing wrong with using whatever means necessary to ease your discomfort as safely as possible.

Lilymossflower · 20/06/2021 02:06

I used to piss in a cup and pour it down the sink when I was pregnant cause the sink was closer than the bathroom. Do what you need to do and and any man can keep bloody well quiet cause they don't know the joys of growing a fully formed fucking human Inside them

Geauxtigers · 20/06/2021 02:14

Pee yourself in the bed because it's too dangerous for you to go downstairs and see which option he would prefer...

Geauxtigers · 20/06/2021 02:16

Also sometimes when I'm drunk I pee in the sink, or outside just cos. I know! I'm a perverted asshole!!

Lovenahla · 20/06/2021 02:21

Not disgusting

StardewMelons · 20/06/2021 02:23

To all the people who say its "Gross", maybe think about the many people, wether elderly or disabled, who really do need to use a commode (basically a chair potty with a lid). Are they gross? People need to get a grip.

Geauxtigers · 20/06/2021 03:11

I don't even wash my hands after each wee. Always do after a poo, but honestly people need to get a grip. Maybe the fact I rarely get sick is because my immune system has built up as I don't always kill off all the good bacteria by religiously hand washing after each toilet trip. Maybe if there was a v young child or a vulnerable adult in the house I would think differently. But at the moment I'm v happy to not wash my hands and piss in a potty

FierceBarrie · 20/06/2021 03:20

@StardewMelons

To all the people who say its "Gross", maybe think about the many people, wether elderly or disabled, who really do need to use a commode (basically a chair potty with a lid). Are they gross? People need to get a grip.
Apparently it’s not acceptable at all to make this comparison.
Pinkychilla · 20/06/2021 04:41

I was in the same situation getting up 3 times a night and I actually slipped and slid down the stairs and had to go and get baby checked (all was OK luckily) and I really hurt my coccyx which took over a year not to hurt when I sat down! So I think your being very sensible it's not worth the risk and your husband is being very unreasonable! It's OK for the man isn't it?! He should be more supportive and understanding pregnancy is tough!

VettiyaIruken · 20/06/2021 08:09

Your back is hurting, you're aching, you're struggling to get downstairs safely so you squat right down and use a potty on the landing.

You are going to hurt yourself.

You've got several more weeks to go and you'll be lucky to not fall or be unable to get up from a squat. Not to mention your back is going to suffer more from squatting than from walking a flight of stairs.

You need to get something higher.

sauceyorange · 20/06/2021 08:18

@Geauxtigers

I don't even wash my hands after each wee. Always do after a poo, but honestly people need to get a grip. Maybe the fact I rarely get sick is because my immune system has built up as I don't always kill off all the good bacteria by religiously hand washing after each toilet trip. Maybe if there was a v young child or a vulnerable adult in the house I would think differently. But at the moment I'm v happy to not wash my hands and piss in a potty
This is why we are constantly having norocirus outbreaks. You still have bacteria on your hands after a wee. Just because you're not getting sick... other people will be
OrangeSharked · 20/06/2021 09:47

There's a massive difference between an elderly or disabled person using an appropriate medical aid because they cannot get to the toilet and a woman squatting down over a child's travel potty on the landing because she doesn't want to walk to the toilet in the night.

I'm sorry but I really don't see the difference between squatting over a child's travel potty and pissing in a bottle.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 20/06/2021 10:00

When I was pregnant I moved to a house where the one and only toilet was in the basement. I really knew nothing!!! On the bright side it was the perfect opportunity to pop a few slices of mandarin orange cheesecake (huge cravings!!) in the microwave to defrost, wee, then return upstairs with my bounty. Often later repeated. 😉 I was so lucky I didn't have a stupid man around judging me. 😁😁

Pinklittle · 20/06/2021 10:09

I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant, downstairs bathroom with steep stairs, it's a bloody nightmare! You just gotta do what you gotta do, whatever you are most comfortable with has to be the best. I personally haven't gone down this route as I'm up that blinking much now there is no way a potty would contain all the wees haha! Good luck OP xx

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 20/06/2021 10:09

@Youdoyoutoday

When your DH develops a huge lump pressing on his bladder, then he gets to have an opinion and even then, not so much!
Prostate enlargement/cancer cause pretty much the same. I'm not aware of any of the older men I've known in my life opting to piss in a bottle and leave it on the landing/floor until morning because they've got back pain or are a bit unsteady on their feet after the third time they've had to get up by 2am.
ancientgran · 20/06/2021 10:18

@Youmakemewannashout

And did you know that your dishcloth probably has more germs in it than your toilet?
I guess that depends on how often and how well you clean your toilet and your dishcloth.
ancientgran · 20/06/2021 10:21

@Clymenecly Your user name is a bit inappropriate

Why? Because I'm a gran? This might come as a surprise but you are a mum if you are a gran.

StardewMelons · 20/06/2021 12:06

@OrangeSharked Forget the circumstance as to 'why' OP is using this potty. People commenting on how gross the action is, how gross weeing in a potty is, pretty hurtful to people reading who has no choice imo.

roobicoobi · 20/06/2021 12:17

@StardewMelons

To all the people who say its "Gross", maybe think about the many people, wether elderly or disabled, who really do need to use a commode (basically a chair potty with a lid). Are they gross? People need to get a grip.

No. Of course not. Pudding in a potty and leaving it in the landing because you cba going to the toilet is not the same use using a commode, as you say, with a lid, because you cannot get to the toilet.

Comparing pregnancy with disability is nasty.

roobicoobi · 20/06/2021 12:20

In my experience any house that has a downstairs bathroom also has a very steep narrow staircase. And the bathroom is usually located at the back of the house next to the kitchen

Your experience is minimal.

I live in an ex council 50s house with a bathroom opposite the bottom of the stairs. Stairs are normal, not narrow or steep.

Tossblanket · 20/06/2021 12:22

Hahaha,

Here's a little secret. I've been redoing upstairs bathroom and we're at the 1 year point due to work and childcare.

So this is exactly what we did, folding bivvy toilet with a bag and cat litter in bedroom.

Because neither of us can be arsed going downstairs in the middle of the night 😂

Need to finish this bathroom off really lol.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 20/06/2021 12:30

It is gross. But so is a lot of things concerning pregnancy, labour, birth and parenting. He might as well get used to it.

StardewMelons · 20/06/2021 12:44

@roobicoobi I didn't mention my thoughts on 'WHY' OP does use a potty. My point entirely is people commenting on how "gross" the action of using a potty is, IMO is very insensitive to people who have no choice due to disability etc.......Nasty.

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