Aibu how seriously should the schooltake this?

[a8mint]

This picture of Dd 15 was passed around the classroom with her name on. Dd is upset but the school are not treating it as a bullying incident just general 'off task' behaviour and she is yoo sensitive. I am not sure. I think the boobs make it bullying
Yabu - bullying incident
Yanbu-bullying incident

Yabu.

It is bullying. It's clearly not a nice, friendly pic and it has made your dd feel uncomfortable. Bullying.

IME bullying is a series of on going incidents targeted towards someone. Yes this shouldn’t have happened, and there should be a punishment based on the schools behaviour policy, but I wouldn’t say it’s bullying.

YABU and I think you’re not doing your daughter any favours by making a big deal of this. She needs to toughen up a bit. It’s a stupid stick drawing that doesn’t look like anyone in particular (if it had been drawn with a hooked nose, fat body, wonky teeth etc then that would be bullying). She should have just laughed it off.

This is bullying as presumably more than one person was involved. If someone quietly doodled and wasn't taking the piss then it wouldn't be bullying. Passing round a picture with the intention of making others laugh is designed to make your DD uncomfortable and thus = bullying.

School should NOT say your DD is over sensitive, that phrase is a big warning bell that school is shit at dealing with bullying.

I would escalate, in my school I never deal with class teachers, go to head of year and if still unhappy keep on.

All bullying starts with the first incident and waiting for it to happen again is an outdated approach. Harassment can be a single incident.

Your voting says both YABU and YANBU are for bullying?

But regardless of ‘classifying’ this: was it done deliberately to upset her? Yes? (Sounds like it) then it needs dealt with not dismissed. YANBU

You’ve put “bullying incident” for both voting options

Is this a one off thing?? If so that's not bullying. Bullying is several targeted incidents.

Is this a one off or part of a wider pattern of behaviour targeting your DD? If it's a one-off it's been dealt with fine. If it's part of a wider pattern the school needs to step up and do more.

@Russell19

Is this a one off thing?? If so that's not bullying. Bullying is several targeted incidents.

It was in the 80s.

These days good schools sort it BEFORE the damage is done.

Does no one remember being 15? It’s a silly incident that most 15 year olds would laugh off - or do the same thing back, and do a drawing of the culprit.

If it was targeting any of her physical features (or had stink lines off it or something) then I think that would be different. But what is she upset about, other than “they have drawn a stick girl and said it’s me”.

That’s just my opinion, but I remember being 15 in a rowdy classroom quite well. I think reporting the classmate for something so silly would go down badly, and wouldn’t do your daughter any favours.

@Tangled22

Does no one remember being 15? It’s a silly incident that most 15 year olds would laugh off - or do the same thing back, and do a drawing of the culprit.

If it was targeting any of her physical features (or had stink lines off it or something) then I think that would be different. But what is she upset about, other than “they have drawn a stick girl and said it’s me”.

That’s just my opinion, but I remember being 15 in a rowdy classroom quite well. I think reporting the classmate for something so silly would go down badly, and wouldn’t do your daughter any favours.

It had big tits.

To posters who refer to how it was in their school - presumably 25+ years ago - is this all you want for your daughters? The same shit we had to put up with?

The world should have moved forwards. I don't want my kids to put up with the same crap that we had to in school.

@PracticingPerson can’t quite believe that I’m analysing cartoon boobs on mumsnet… but personally I’d say they’re just normal standard stick figure boobs. To show that it’s a girl stick. They are not comedy big, are they.

OP hasn’t returned to say whether her DD is repeatedly targeted by the “artist”, or if this is a one-off incident. Or even whether other silly drawings of other things/people were being done in the same lesson or not. I think the context is key here.

Whilst it's not pleasant, to me that's certainly not a bullying incident at all.

I was bullied at school. Relentlessly.

To me that picture is not bullying.

What else was on the picture? It just looks like a stick figure girl to me, yes it has boobs but they just look like normal stick figure boobs to me

Was it done by a friend or someone who has form?

Is there context to the picture perhaps? You don't have to say on MN, but my worry would be that a picture of DD had been sent around or something like that.

On its own, no I don't think the picture is bullying. But there maybe more to it

As it's been brought to your attention I presume your DD is upset?

I would say it's not very nice. A note going around to everyone about your DD and her personal features, and of something which she could be insecure about and still learning to accept.

I think given the current well-publicised issues of the way girls are treated in secondary schools and the incessant sexual comments and harassment that 90% of girls reportedly have experienced, I would definitely take this further. It may not be bullying if it's a one-off, but if it makes your DD uncomfortable then those who did it need to know that it isn't acceptable. I would definitely be making an issue of it if it was one of my DDs.

I hope those saying it's fine are not the parents of teen boys

I'd say it was bullying as it was done with the malicious intention to cause distress, at 15 whoever done it may see it as 'banter' but in a couple of years time these people could be out in the workplace, doing that there could be instant dismissal. At 15 they need to start understanding the consequences of actions. Complain to the governors if you get nowhere with the school.

@lavenderlou

I think given the current well-publicised issues of the way girls are treated in secondary schools and the incessant sexual comments and harassment that 90% of girls reportedly have experienced, I would definitely take this further. It may not be bullying if it's a one-off, but if it makes your DD uncomfortable then those who did it need to know that it isn't acceptable. I would definitely be making an issue of it if it was one of my DDs.

I hope those saying it's fine are not the parents of teen boys

I agree. I'm always shocked by how many parents tolerate low level shit behaviour. No wonder so many kids are low level horrid.

How is this not bullying? It's a picture being passed around a bunch of 15 year old (presumably to have a laugh at) saying it looks like OP DD. Bullying isn't just verbal or physical!

If students think they can get away with this, what else will they think they can get away with.

YANBU OP school should nip this in the bud immediately.

It's bullying if it belittles someone and makes them feel shit about themselves

If this wouldn't be acceptable to us in the workplace, why is it acceptable for it to happen to our daughters in school?

YANBU