Aibu how seriously should the schooltake this?

[a8mint]

This picture of Dd 15 was passed around the classroom with her name on. Dd is upset but the school are not treating it as a bullying incident just general 'off task' behaviour and she is yoo sensitive. I am not sure. I think the boobs make it bullying
Yabu - bullying incident
Yanbu-bullying incident

I don’t like it. It’s the boobs. So NOT bulling but bang out of line.
I was at school (not co-Ed) 30 years ago and I would have been mortified, ashamed and embarrassed.
Not on, In my opinion.

I didn’t think stick figures had boobs is it ok to draw a stick figure willy too.

If she’s upset she’s been made into a figure of fun by her classmates then it’s bullying in my opinion. But I’d probably let it go, making a big issue of it could result in her becoming a target….

Agree with pp need to know the context really, were they all partaking in these stick figures. At 15 you’d think they’d be a bit old for it.

Tell her to draw a stick figure with a tiny dick and pass it around saying its the boy.

@Morgan12

Tell her to draw a stick figure with a tiny dick and pass it around saying its the boy.

What boy?

Put the drawing to one side. I think I'd start by going over the schools anti bullying policy. I suspect it will include some language about if someone has been made to feel uncomfortable within the school environment etc etc. Use that wording.

Then ask them to justify in writing why the drawing and then the passing around of the drawing and presumably the reactions of others and your daughters feelings about it don't constitute bullying.

YABU

If she is upset, it had her name on, and it was being passed around, it is bullying.
Why pass it about unless it was to make her feel bad/ uncomfortable?

You’ve potentially made this a hell of a lot worse for you daughter given how many threads end up in the daily Mail!

I am think this is unpleasant and whoever did it was attempting to poke fun a bit. It's the lips, which look like they have lipstick put on badly and the boobs. It warrants punishment, but I think as a one off out of the blue incident, it is not worthy of a total bollocking.

I think I would be having a really open chat with my daughter about what is going on. Tell her you won't do anything she doesn't want. I hope she is OK op.

@Itgetsthehoseagain

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I would really like you to read your message back to yourself and really think about what you have written. In a week where we have a report telling us that our daughters are being subjected to sexual harassment every dat at school you are saying that she should be pleased that people perceive her as having a nice rack. If we wonder where the problem starts I think your post sums it up in one statement. For f*ck sake why are we teaching our daughters that they should be glad for the attention their bodies receive or flattered when people notice them. What next. ....they should be glad that someone pinched their arse because it was clearly peachy, or happy that someone put their hand up their skirt because they clearly fancied her Part of me prays you don’t have daughters but I am even more afraid that you might have sons and be passing on these Neanderthal attitudes to them. Instead of wasting time on Mumsnet can you take some time to educate yourself? Perhaps you would like to to start by visiting the website “everyone’’s invited” to get a real insight into what girls are facing at school.

A one off incident is mean. If it’s part of an ongoing pattern then it’s bullying.

Initially I thought the bottom half included a skirt. But it's not a skirt is it. It's pubic hair.

Still think this is okay, pps? I don't.

@a8mint

This picture of Dd 15 was passed around the classroom with her name on. Dd is upset but the school are not treating it as a bullying incident just general 'off task' behaviour and she is yoo sensitive. I am not sure. I think the boobs make it bullying Yabu - bullying incident Yanbu-bullying incident

You are NOT being unreasonable this is sexual bullying. They haven’t drawn a stick person they’ve drawn a picture with a girl with boobs and pubic hair and the aim is clearly to humiliate her because she is a girl/woman. This needs to be taken further (not targetting individuals) by talking to the class about appropriate boundaries. Why should a girl be humiliated because of the way he body is developing? It wouldn’t be tolerated if it was a racial cartoon or a fat cartoon why should we accept it because it is misogynist. I would be taking this up with SLT and I would suggest if you need support you contact the everyone’s invited website or everyday sexism

Strange replies OP. If this happened in my class the person responsible for drawing that and passing it around the class would be referred for bullying.
The drawing itself isn’t nice but it’s not off the scale awful. The ‘gang/group mentality’ is the problem here. I’d expect the ‘leader’ (the person who passed their drawing around) to be punished.

@FedUpWithBriiiiick

If this wouldn't be acceptable to us in the workplace, why is it acceptable for it to happen to our daughters in school?

YANBU

Exactly.

A one off incident is mean. If it’s part of an ongoing pattern then it’s bullying.

This is often said. However, in most workplace policies, bullying can occur even when it is one incident.

Regardless, it's unacceptable demeaning behaviour that cannot be tolerated.

@saraclara

Initially I thought the bottom half included a skirt. But it's not a skirt is it. It's pubic hair.

Still think this is okay, pps? I don't.

I thought underwear.

Even so I still think it’s bullying.
Not sure where people get the idea that ‘if it’s a one off it’s not bullying’ from.

Your daughter feels bullied and/or harassed. That should be the test that determines the school response.

Yes we might have laughed it off when we were 15, but that is not how the OPs DD feels.

It’s unacceptable behaviour. It’s not bullying (at this point). They are different.

If this has upset OPs add enough that she has told OP, I'd guess that it's likely that this is the most recent incident, but that there have been other incidents recently that weren't mentioned because they felt too minor on their own - whispers behind her back/ talking stopping when she goes into a room.

The problem with teen bulling is they can be very good at making sure they have plausible deniability.

Obviously OP's DD is the only one who can say if that's the case though.

Does no one remember being 15? It’s a silly incident that most 15 year olds would laugh off - or do the same thing back, and do a drawing of the culprit.

yes, i do remember. I hated my huge chest and this would have set me off in a spiral of depression and self-loathing - as anyone who knew me would have known. And with that in mind this is bullying.

But sure, everyone, laugh it off and in 20 years the daughter will be posting here about how her male colleagues were giving female colleagues marks out of 10 as they leave a teams meeting and she won't see that for the harassment it is because she is being taught to put up with it from an early age.

@Tangled22

YABU and I think you’re not doing your daughter any favours by making a big deal of this. She needs to toughen up a bit. It’s a stupid stick drawing that doesn’t look like anyone in particular (if it had been drawn with a hooked nose, fat body, wonky teeth etc then that would be bullying). She should have just laughed it off.

This.