Page 6 | Aibu how seriously should the schooltake this?

a8mint · 2021-06-18T04:44:49+00:00

This picture of Dd 15 was passed around the classroom with her name on. Dd is upset but the school are not treating it as a bullying incident just general 'off task' behaviour and she is yoo sensitive. I am not sure. I think the boobs make it bullying Yabu - bullying incident Yanbu-bullying incident

lavenderlou · 18/06/2021 20:55

Returning to this thread and am staggered to see the number of posters who think the OP's DD needs to shake this off! No wonder the sexualised treatment and harrassment of girls has become endemic. Apparently girls should just put up with treatment like this. Makes me very worried about my DD, who is about to start secondary school.

It doesn't matter if it is bullying or not. It is a serious incident. In a workplace it could easily be considered sexual harassment. Teenage girls should not have to put up with it!

Completely agree. Incidents like this occurring with teens at secondary schools should be treated with the same seriousness as they would be in a workplace.

Original poster

a8mint · 18/06/2021 21:48

Sorry for messing up the voting options
Thank you all for your input

OP posts:

Mollymalone123 · 18/06/2021 21:54

Bullying is repetitive behaviour towards someone- so unless this sort of thing happens to your DD on a regular basis -it is not bullying- just v immature teenagers pratting about- best to ignore it and tell her not to dignify it with a response

Hankunamatata · 18/06/2021 22:16

Was the pictured intercepted by a teacher? Was anything said?

NotAnotherPushyMum · 18/06/2021 22:21

It’s sexual harassment and the passing it around was intended to humiliate. It’s completely unacceptable. Not bullying necessarily unless it’s part of a wider pattern of behaviour.

ScottishNewbie · 18/06/2021 23:32

Bullying. And I would also be concerned at the graphic nature and how the classmates view her and how that will impact her self esteem and interactions with peers

Firingpingpongs · 19/06/2021 09:40

Need more backstory. Was it boys or girls who initiated this? Were they her friends or classmates? Has anything happened before? You can’t make a judgement on this alone without knowing more details. If you take this further then any teacher worth their salt will be asking all these questions so you need to be clued up first.

Bullying is horrible and wrong but the focus is so much on what it is that there is little teaching on what it isn’t. Some kids are accused of bullying when it really hasn’t been intentional and they are just a bit ignorant of what is and is not right or proper.

Sometimes things are said or done that make someone else feel a bit shit but it won’t have been intentional and when explained the initiator may be genuinely horrified that something was taken in the wrong context and be genuinely sorry.

Yes you are right to speak up if it concerns you but there has to be more context given here before voting in the poll.

OpalBerry · 19/06/2021 13:31

Your DD's upset because she knows her classmates and knows they were being unkind and making fun of her. If it was a good friend who she jokes with and they do things like this to each other in a good natured way it would be fine, but she was upset because she knows she was being made fun of

elenacampana · 19/06/2021 13:44

I think it’s very unkind OP, verging on cruel. When I was at senior school in the late 90s, a girl who had been giving me a really hard time took a chance on a day I was off sick to pass a note round my class saying ‘Who hates Elennacampana?’ It felt like bullying then and it still does now at 34.

To anyone saying ‘laugh it off’. No, I don’t agree at all. It’s a horrible way to be treated at school and I do think they should be coming down hard on this type of behaviour. It’s taken years of counselling and therapy to overcome what my school years did to me.

Hertsgirl10 · 19/06/2021 21:17

Ffs no it’s nothing bullying. Can we stop creating victims of nothing please.

Lancrelady80 · 20/06/2021 00:41

It's hardly nothing! It's demeaning, humiliating, very mean and could be considered sexual harassment. It's certainly highly sexualized and massively inappropriate. . These are 15 year olds, not babies. They know about this stuff. They know it hurts. They know it's offensive. It's intended to hurt, to offend, to demean.

In and of itself, although viciously mean, it's s not bullying - although it could be part of an ongoing story or the beginning of bullying. But quite frankly, does that matter? The teen responsible (and all those involved) needs coming down on like a ton of bricks, even if it is an isolated incident.

Hertsgirl10 · 20/06/2021 09:05

@Lancrelady80

It's hardly nothing! It's demeaning, humiliating, very mean and could be considered sexual harassment. It's certainly highly sexualized and massively inappropriate. . These are 15 year olds, not babies. They know about this stuff. They know it hurts. They know it's offensive. It's intended to hurt, to offend, to demean.

In and of itself, although viciously mean, it's s not bullying - although it could be part of an ongoing story or the beginning of bullying. But quite frankly, does that matter? The teen responsible (and all those involved) needs coming down on like a ton of bricks, even if it is an isolated incident.

It’s a stuck man.