To not let my son go camping on his prom night

[longcoffeebreak]

Just that really. He is 16 and wants to camp after his prom with friends in a friend's parent's field.

I think the idea stinks and that they will be drinking and totally unsupervised.

He thinks I am too strict and everyone else is allowed to go ..

I would 100% encourage my Yr11 DD to go. They've missed out on so many normal teenage experiences over the last year+ and if they get an offer for some fun, they should grab it with both hands. She's naturally cautious and sensible though; I guess it boils down to how much you trust your kid with regard to drink / drugs / sex etc

Yes, I would let my son go. This will be a memory that he will have for the rest is his life. I would have the chat beforehand though!

YABU. Let him go.

I'd let him go. Make sure he has condoms with him.

Oh definitely let him! I went to reading festival at that age with friends! If you keep him in he’ll be alienated from his mates and when he finally leaves home/goes to uni etc. he’ll be hundreds of miles away without any life experience and could get into quite dangerous situations .

And I'd be glad he was honest with you.

Prom wasn’t the issue with my ds, it was the after party.
Dh had to go and pick him up after a friend called us to say he was in a state.
There was a lot of vomit that night but at least he was safe at home where we could keep an eye on him

@ConstanceGracy

Prom wasn’t the issue with my ds, it was the after party. Dh had to go and pick him up after a friend called us to say he was in a state. There was a lot of vomit that night but at least he was safe at home where we could keep an eye on him

And he had friends who knew to look after each other and call you.

Keeping that communication lifeline going is essential during these teen transition years.

Mine are a bit younger but we are rural and this crops up regularly in older children. There seems to be a general consensus that its ok but NO fire. If there is a fire then no alcohol and a parent sleeps in a tent very nearby and in charge of making sure the fire is fully out when they go to bed. And if mixed sex girls and boys tents and ideally a parent camping (definitely under 16) but not quite as close as if there is fire.

Ridiculous. Kids have fun, let him go ffs. Hasn’t life been rubbish enough for them without spoiling the first chance of fun for over a year. Unreasonable doesn’t even begin to cover your attitude. Are you going to “supervise” him for the rest of his life?

@Blossomtoes

Ridiculous. Kids have fun, let him go ffs. Hasn’t life been rubbish enough for them without spoiling the first chance of fun for over a year. Unreasonable doesn’t even begin to cover your attitude. Are you going to “supervise” him for the rest of his life?

Don’t be an arse. Are you not mature enough to realise that not everyone parents the same? Op asked for advice, not a dressing down.

Have a sensible conversation with him about alcohol. The distinction between being merry and being so out of it that you don't enjoy yourself anyway. The distinction between letting your hair down occasionally, and dependency. Tell him a bit about you and your mum and Why you worry. Then let him go.

Oh, and be very clear that he is 100% responsible for very thoroughly cleaning any camping equipment he pukes on. Things cannot be packed away even smelling of sick.

@mam0918

Since when was this a thing?

People saying its completely normal, certainly wasnt among anyone I know and to me wouldnt be acceptible, its on par with getting drunk in the park.

I dont mind my 16 year old drinking at all but it would have to be in a secure safe enviroment with a trust adult on hand for emergancies not camping out in a field somewhere.

Also what is stopping these drunk kids having drunken ill advised sex or being taken advantage of in this senario?

Teenagers drinking and having ill advised sex has been a thing for a very, very long time, I can assure you. They often want to get away from so-called 'secure, safe' environments for a reason, it's part of growing up.

Teens also camp out alone at the age doing DoE, but I'm so sure they never, ever drink or have ill-advised sex in such settings, oh, no!

I lost my virginity in the safe, secure environment of my own home. Was it ill-advised? Not to me, I was rather hot to be rid of it.

Are you not mature enough to realise that not everyone parents the same?

I’m 67! 🤣

I've known 16 year olds who've hiked round Europe and you don't want him to camp in a friend's field.

I'd let him go. But my 16 year old DS goes camping with friends regularly already. Yes,they have a few ciders, but no harm has befallen them and I'm actually in awe of how mature he is compared to me at that age.

Honestly, it’s a worry how the kids of these uptight, must supervise parents are going to cope at uni without mummy making their decisions.
My eldest went to uni at 17, more than capable of managing on her own. It seems to be a MN thing where 16-18 yr olds are managed like primary aged kids and have to seek permission from mum for everything.
My DD15 is very independent and responsible as are her friends, I trust her to make good choices.

@Blossomtoes

Are you not mature enough to realise that not everyone parents the same?

I’m 67! 🤣

My best friend had extremely strict parents, and she was the only girl. Oh, the lies my friend used to tell them. They'd often have no idea where she was. First time she got drunk it was at a party at our house. Her folks knew she was coming on a sleepover, but not that my parents, who went to the same church, were out of town and we were left with one of my older sisters. Friend's older brother couldn't resist coming along for the party. We took turns cleaning up his drunk sister/my friend in between having sex with each other (ah, the days, when multiple sex in a night was a thing ).

Anyhow, anytime she was out of their site she was usually the drunkest person there and smoked so much grass I thought she was going to join a reggae band.

My mum was strict, I lied to her all the time! I would tell him your worries, tell him the history with your mum if he's not already aware (or tell him again!) and tell him to learn his limits because you want to be able to trust him and not have to spend all night worried sick about him
anytime he does something like this.

@littlebillie

My friends DD did this a few years ago. Her Dad sat in the car in the field all night to make sure she was okay

This is absolutely tragic. 😆

I’d rather not go if my dad was going to insist on sitting in his car, internal light on, glasses on the end of his nose, pretending to read a novel while watching over everyone…

I think if it's a friend's parents' field then there will be known adults fairly near by should there be any problems .

that poor teen with her dad watching from the car .... the shame. That’s the sort of thing people talk about years later . I’d rather not go!

@BigSandyBalls2015

that poor teen with her dad watching from the car .... the shame. That’s the sort of thing people talk about years later . I’d rather not go!

Awful, isn’t it? The humiliation is dreadful. It’s like some parents were never teenagers.

Ours all went to Glastonbury straight from GCSEs. They were with a lot of friends and older siblings. We lived nearby & had plenty of friends working there so help was on hand if needed.

I think I'd be more worried about drunken sexual activity than anything else.
How many are going? Doesn't potentially sound very safe for girls.

^^This!
Drinking by itself is not an issue, but a crime can easily happen.