Bringing wine to a dinner party etiquette

[WellLarDeDar]

I was brought up being told that if you go to someone's house for dinner you take something nice like wine or flowers etc because it's good manners. If I took wine to someone else's house I would expect them to either store it and have it when they felt like it, or pop it open and we drink it together.

DH and I were trying to make friends in a new area and invited a couple over for dinner - I met the husband through work, we got along really well so I invited them both over. The wife came in and handed me a bottle of wine and I was like oh thank you would you like a glass (yes obviously), went to the kitchen and poured four glasses of it and handed them out and great. Throughout dinner we were opening more bottles (provided by us) and then afterwards we settled in the lounge and the wife went 'oh I'd like some of our wine now.' and made a comment about our wine being sweet. Admittedly I do love Riesling and it is sweet but I had this sinking feeling... because we'd already drunk it together and she obviously didnt realize and I suddenly felt like a naughty child that had eaten all of someone else's Halloween candy and had that dreaded stomach pit feeling when you've just been caught out and have to own up. It was super awkward and I said 'i think that's all gone, we drank it all' and she went '...oh' and the look on her face...I could be wrong but we got the impression that she brought the wine for her and my colleague to drink...but not for me and DH and we shouldn't have drunk it :S she spent the rest of the evening furiously texting and not talking and I felt so embarrassed

Was I really rude to have poured DH and I a glass? I get at a big group bbq or house party people sometimes bring their own stuff but I didnt think that would be the case for a small four person dinner party. If you're over for dinner and hand me some wine I'm gona say let's all have a glass :S Crap. I'm 30 and feel like I have no idea how to adult!

She was rude. You were fine.

She was rude - probably embarrassed that she'd drunk so much that she couldn't remember that you'd already drunk the bottle she brought. My rule is that if the guest has bought a very nice bottle, then it's polite to open that one, unless it needs chilling or time to breathe. I usually give people the option of opening their bottle or something I've chosen.

I once was very embarrassed when the bottle of red I'd bought was opened by the hostess and put on the table. I took a sip, only to realise it was corked. I didn't know everyone else well enough to make a joke and luckily everybody else didn't seem that bothered and glugged it down quite happily.

Taking your own bottle home is definitely rude because the wine is meant to be a thank you for the food.

It annoys me if I bring something nice and we never drink it

If it annoys you, you obviously didn't intend it as a gift for the host. Dont you think it's a bit rude not to give the host a gift to thank them for cooking etc?

If the only reason you bring a nice bottle is because you expect to be able to drink it, that's pretty damn selfish.

If want to drink your own wine then bring two, one to share one as a gift

Unless there is some kind of wildly different etiquette in other parts of the country, I'd say you were being polite and she was being rude.

I think if someone had said that to me, I'd just say "we drank it earlier" and if they reacted the way she did it'd just seem weird and honestly laughable.