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Original poster

To use ‘Rose’ as middle name for my rainbow baby?

229 replies

Qu33nSt3ph13 · 16/06/2021 10:05

I lost my precious first born Ella-Rose October last year, now 22 weeks with our rainbow baby boy!

Would Rose work as his middle name? Please be nice, but don’t feel obliged to say yes just because of the situation :-)

Thanks

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 16/06/2021 12:10

Sorry, no. I think it's slightly odd to give the new baby the first child's middle name, but even more so when that name doesnt work for a boy really. If you are determined to reference your first child can you adapt it to Ross or Rowan or something?

RuthW · 16/06/2021 12:10

What about Ross?

Longtimeagonow46 · 16/06/2021 12:11

Rose is a beautiful name but I wouldn't use it as a middle name for a boy, sorry. But it a lovely thought. Sorry for your loss and congratulations on the upcoming arrival Flowers

SleepingStandingUp · 16/06/2021 12:11

@EmeraldShamrock

but have you thought about Ray for a middle name?

A ray of light comes after a storm. It's what makes the rainbow. I think it's a bright, hopeful
That is a lovely name with the explanation behind it.

This is lovely, Ezekiel Ray works really well
me4real · 16/06/2021 12:12

Rosenkrantz. Grin

ChaosTrulyReigns · 16/06/2021 12:17

Very sorry for your loss of Ella-Rose Flowers

Would you consider Ezra for your son's middle name?

It had the essence of Ella-Rose, with the Z as a nod to Ezekiel that you like?

OccasionallyFlagging · 16/06/2021 12:18

Just NO, for reasons which have already been made clear.

Change your own name by deed poll to include her name, or create something like a special rose-garden with little fairy houses to remember Ella-Rose by.

NanooCov · 16/06/2021 12:18

Apparently Royce is an old English name meaning rose / rosy. Might be a nice alternative.

Nomorepies · 16/06/2021 12:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Flibbitygibbit · 16/06/2021 12:19

Elliott Ross ? Elias ? Sorry for your loss and good luck with your pregnancy

AryaStarkWolf · 16/06/2021 12:21

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Oh - thank you *@AryaStarkWolf* - I appreciate you explaining it for me.
No worries
mrscatmad31 · 16/06/2021 12:21

My brother was given our deceased grandmother's name as a middle name (changed to the boy version) he has always hated it and omits it from paperwork because he sees it as a girl's name. I was a 'rainbow' baby and I have my deceased sister's name as a middle name, I don't mind too much but It does come with baggage really, especially as my other middle name is my mother's and she has also now passed away

Charmatt · 16/06/2021 12:21

My OH was told he was only conceived because his older brother died and they wanted 2 children (he has an older sister). I'm just glad he didn't also have his name as a middle name as it would be a reminder of his parents feeling that they wanted his brother instead.

While I don't think that this is what you think at all, I know the impact it has had on my OH, especially as his mother has brought up the subject when they have had disagreements.

PoppenhuisStories · 16/06/2021 12:21

I say this as gently as possible. Please don’t include a nod to your lost child in the name of your next child. I can see why it is meaningful for you, but please don’t saddle a child with the weight of their sibling they never knew.

I know quite a few people who have siblings who died when they were young or before they were born and all of them feel the presence of the sibling they barely remember or never knew in their family. This is generally not regarded as a positive thing as for them there is no emotional connection with the sibling. It’s not the same as a grandmother and it’s disingenuous to suggest it is, clearly the gravity attached to a lost sibling is different to a grandparent. A friend had the middle name of her deceased sister, it has been a real issue for her.

Please grieve yourselves and don’t involve any new baby.

MustardRose · 16/06/2021 12:22

How about planting a rose bush in your garden when he's born?

Willwebebuyingnumber11 · 16/06/2021 12:22

What about the initial “L” for Ella for his middle ?

So James L Bennett for example ?

Or Ellis?

Sorry for your loss and congratulations on your pregnancy.

Divineswirls · 16/06/2021 12:26

Congratulations Thanks

All I can say is your DS won't like being named after a sibling who has passed away, it's weird, more so that it's a girls name.

Also do not refer to him to his face as your rainbow baby. Just keep that term to yourself privately in your head.

Lolamambam · 16/06/2021 12:26

@IndigoHexagon

I wouldn’t personally, even as a middle name give a boy such an obvious girl name. I’d use a variation though - maybe Rosen / Rowan / Roe.

Congratulations on your rainbow x 🌈

This is a lovely sentiment. He might feel he has to justify why he has (traditionally) a girl’s middle name to people, so I wouldn’t. Congratulations and wish your family all the beat xxx
Divineswirls · 16/06/2021 12:27

@PoppenhuisStories

I say this as gently as possible. Please don’t include a nod to your lost child in the name of your next child. I can see why it is meaningful for you, but please don’t saddle a child with the weight of their sibling they never knew.

I know quite a few people who have siblings who died when they were young or before they were born and all of them feel the presence of the sibling they barely remember or never knew in their family. This is generally not regarded as a positive thing as for them there is no emotional connection with the sibling. It’s not the same as a grandmother and it’s disingenuous to suggest it is, clearly the gravity attached to a lost sibling is different to a grandparent. A friend had the middle name of her deceased sister, it has been a real issue for her.

Please grieve yourselves and don’t involve any new baby.

This. Very much this.
BreatheAndFocus · 16/06/2021 12:31

Sorry for your loss Flowers but I wouldn’t give a boy the middle name Rose. However, I do think it’s a lovely idea to give a slightly adjusted version of the name. I think Ambrose is nice because it clearly contains the name Rose, and also sounds a little like “And Rose” so kind of focuses on the Rose.

saraclara · 16/06/2021 12:33

@PoppenhuisStories

I say this as gently as possible. Please don’t include a nod to your lost child in the name of your next child. I can see why it is meaningful for you, but please don’t saddle a child with the weight of their sibling they never knew.

I know quite a few people who have siblings who died when they were young or before they were born and all of them feel the presence of the sibling they barely remember or never knew in their family. This is generally not regarded as a positive thing as for them there is no emotional connection with the sibling. It’s not the same as a grandmother and it’s disingenuous to suggest it is, clearly the gravity attached to a lost sibling is different to a grandparent. A friend had the middle name of her deceased sister, it has been a real issue for her.

Please grieve yourselves and don’t involve any new baby.

Perfectly put.
TeamNegan · 16/06/2021 12:36

What about Rosen? I think it’s traditionally a surname but I think it’s cute! Sorry if it was already suggested, I only read half the thread.

I like the connection to his sister personally, I think it’s lovely. Congrats on your baby Flowers

Anndie · 16/06/2021 12:37

Another vote for 'no' I'm afraid. My son's middle name is Leslie after his paternal grandfather - he hates it because his friends teased him about it when he was at school, despite it being the masculine spelling of the girls' name Lesley. He has even as an adult talked about changing his name by deed poll and removing that name.

Many congratulations on your rainbow baby!

Patapouf · 16/06/2021 12:37

No. Rose does not work for a boy, even as a middle name.

You might be seeing him in the context of being your 'rainbow' but he is a person in his own right and deserves his name without linking it to the sibling he won't meet. You don't want him to feel he's in her shadow.

I wish you well for the rest of your pregnancy 💐

Scrumbleton · 16/06/2021 12:39

So sorry for your loss and congratulations on your rainbow baby
It’s another no from me I’m afraid - mortifying for him at school etc - how about a port-mantras of Ella Rose - Rowell - massculine, honouring his sister, pretty cool but not too out there. Also like Rowan