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Original poster

To use ‘Rose’ as middle name for my rainbow baby?

229 replies

Qu33nSt3ph13 · 16/06/2021 10:05

I lost my precious first born Ella-Rose October last year, now 22 weeks with our rainbow baby boy!

Would Rose work as his middle name? Please be nice, but don’t feel obliged to say yes just because of the situation :-)

Thanks

OP posts:
WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 16/06/2021 11:20

Haffiana and others, you must feel big and clever to be getting a kick out of being rude and dismissive to a bereaved mum online? Jeez, humans can be horrible.

Two of my friends gave their dc a middle name to honour their mums who died when they were young. It’s not replacing, it’s honouring. Your point of view is weird.

riceuten · 16/06/2021 11:20

I think you should call your child what you want.

ChikiTIKI · 16/06/2021 11:21

I'm sorry for your loss. Also congratulations on your pregnancy. I have not read everyone's replies but have you thought about Ray for a middle name?

A ray of light comes after a storm. It's what makes the rainbow. I think it's a bright, hopeful name and it's one I have thought of using if I ever have a boy.

Anna727b · 16/06/2021 11:21

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Congratulations for this pregnancy!

I don't think 'Rose' is a suitable name for a boy. Briar or Elliot (as mentioned above) would be more appropriate if you want him to have part of his sister's name) but otherwise you could just let him have his own identity and instead talk to him about his sister who was lost.

Remember though that he might find talk of his sister very upsetting and be unable to manage his feelings about it unless you are in the r right place to support him so it might be better for him to have some distance from it at least until he is old enough (7+) to understand.

Overdueanamechange · 16/06/2021 11:22

Another no from me. I am so sorry for your loss, but delighted for you on your pregnancy.
Think about the name Jared as a tribute. From t'internet it comes from the Hebrew meaning "descent", but is also suggested to mean "ruling", "commanding" or "rose".

ChikiTIKI · 16/06/2021 11:22

Can I also add. I don't see why a boy couldn't have a flower name as a middle name. Flowers are not only for females.

Blanketpolicy · 16/06/2021 11:22

Sorry for your loss.

A previous boss of mine had a son with a Maria as a middle name (a Dutch tradition, can't remember if it was a family name or religious one or a bit of both). The poor lad was teased mercilessly about it in school when friends found out and was called Maria in the playground regularly.

I would also think carefully about why you plan to use the name and how your child will feel in the future about having the name and if it is for you or for them. Would you yourself as a child have wanted to be given the name of an unknown sibling who had died, would you feel pressure to replace that child? Is giving a child a middle name that every time they heard/saw/wrote it or they, or others around them, are reminded of your previous sadness a good idea.

It sounds lovely, in theory, to give the name as a memory for you of your lost child on the other hand your baby Rose's name is precious and already claimed by her.

TurquoiseDress · 16/06/2021 11:23

Good luck with the pregnancy OP

Sorry but Rose just does not work as a name for a boy!

Hollywolly1 · 16/06/2021 11:24

Congratulations on your pregnancy and so sorry for the loss of your first babyFlowers.
I totally understand why you want to use the name Rose but your son im sure will be very proud to carry his sister's name ,like being afraid to use that name IN CASE a bully comes along.
Are bullys not seen as extremely weak character's by now.I actually think it's a really cool name.

Ilovenutellaaaaa · 16/06/2021 11:25

Personally if it was me I would use a name that sounds similar...eg rose/Ross....Elliot/Ella

I googled and there actually are baby boys named rose and Ella, so you could use it as there are others who have named their baby boys that..

Or you could Google for the masculine form of rose or ella and see if you like that name.

If it's just as a tribute to his sister and you are set on using her name why not give it as a second middle name ?

Congratulations on your rainbow babyGrin

Also remember he is YOUR baby, so regardless of what is said on here, call him whatever YOU want, and if your heart is set on including his sister's name then do it

Hollywolly1 · 16/06/2021 11:25

Just another idea op you could use it as a third name as a lot of people have 3 names

ohsuzannah · 16/06/2021 11:26

My father's middle name was "Evie" for exactly that reason. It embarrassed him his whole life. I'm afraid I wouldn't do it.

DinaofCloud9 · 16/06/2021 11:28

Please don't give a boy the middle name of Rose. It's cruel and it's not you that has to live with it.

Kids do know their friends middle names despite what a couple of posters are saying Hmm

sbhydrogen · 16/06/2021 11:28

If your baby was a girl then I would say absolutely use Rose as a middle name as I think it's a touching tribute, but I'm afraid it doesn't work for a boy.

Could you find a related name?

TheVanguardSix · 16/06/2021 11:30

Jesse

The hymn "Es ist ein Ros entsprungen" ( A rose sprung up) describes a rose sprouting from the stem of the Tree of Jesse, a symbolic tree that depicts the descendants of Jesus. It is a life-affirming hymn and a very beautiful one.

ProbablyGryffindor · 16/06/2021 11:31

Sorry for the loss of your daughter OP, and congratulations on your pregnancy. We had our son last year after a couple of early losses, and I like to think of him as our rainbow baby. I’ve never used the phrase out loud, but he brings joy after some difficult times. It feels lucky to see a rainbow, and I feel so lucky to have had him. Some of the responses on here are thoughtless.

I think it’s lovely to link your baby boy with his sister. I personally wouldn’t use Rose as a middle name for a boy, but I would use Rosen or a name close to your daughter’s initials. I can’t see why giving your children names that link them together is a bad thing. Both your daughter and your son are important, why can’t they share a name. Best wishes with the rest of your pregnancy, I hope you can decide on the perfect name for your baby boy.

TheVanguardSix · 16/06/2021 11:32

The hymn itself. Have a listen.

PattyPan · 16/06/2021 11:33

What about Phoenix? Or Anatole which is a male name meaning dawn so like coming out of the darkness into the light?
Rose is just the girliest name I can think of so your son really wouldn’t thank you. Like in Friends where Chandler is embarrassed that his middle name is Muriel!

GuildfordGal · 16/06/2021 11:34

I know a man in his 70's with the middle name Ro. Just a thought!

babbaloushka · 16/06/2021 11:35

Congratulations OP, fingers crossed for a safe delivery of your little one. Love PP's suggestion of Anatole, I know one and think it's a fantastic name. There are lots of suggestions for good names that aren't Rose but have a connection with your little girl, I hope you can find something you like that is still meaningful.

Bagamoyo1 · 16/06/2021 11:35

Definitely not Rose, as others have said, due to it being a girl's name. I had a friend at school who's middle name was Graham, after her stillborn older brother. She was teased a lot.

The issue of tribute names is difficult isn't it. My DS's middle name is my brother's name (my brother committed suicide as a young adult, long before DS was born) - it's a perfectly nice and popular name, but I sort of regret it now. It's led to my DS asking about his dead uncle, drawing parallels between them, wondering if they'd have got on etc. It all feels rather morbid now. I actually wish I'd kept the memory of my beloved brother separate from my DS's fresh new life. Whilst we may feel that passing a name on is the ultimate tribute, it can sometimes feel a bit negative.

Footloosefancyfree · 16/06/2021 11:40

I might get linched for saying this I don't like the term rainbow baby. My own DM had a stillborn before me and me or my siblings and we were never referenced as rainbow babies we were own individuals in our right. We of course asked questions about our siblings and my dbro first name was used as middle name for my dbro2 as it was also a family name and he's passed it to his son but it would have been strange if it had been given to me. We are all aware if that baby lived we wouldn't have been here.

Justwantanewname · 16/06/2021 11:40

My cousin was given the same middle name as his deceased sibling. He hates it. It’s a bad idea

ihtwsf · 16/06/2021 11:43

Please don't use Rose.

Ellmau · 16/06/2021 11:43

I think it would be awkward.

I know you said you didn't like Ellis or Elliot, but I like the suggestion of Ambrose.

Sorry for your sad loss of Ella-Rose.