To use ‘Rose’ as middle name for my rainbow baby?

[Qu33nSt3ph13]

I lost my precious first born Ella-Rose October last year, now 22 weeks with our rainbow baby boy!

Would Rose work as his middle name? Please be nice, but don’t feel obliged to say yes just because of the situation :-)

Thanks

For a name that actually won’t be used much so of little consequence to a child who could hate it but would bring huge comfort to OP why is it an issue to use ‘Rose’

@Whinge

I was asking for opinions but at the end of the day it’s my choice.

I understand this, but please remember that although you and your partner have the final choice in the name. You're not the one who has to live with the name. If you use Rose then there's a good chance your son will have quite a difficult time if other children / adults find out. Of course no one should be bullied or teased because of their name, but it would be naive to pretend it doesn't happen.

Yep that’s a fair comment, I have decided against it. I just thought that comment was pretty rude.

Must be my pregnancy hormones giving me crazy ideas! Haha

How about Ambrose as a compromise?

@Qu33nSt3ph13 what about using the name of a type of rose to honour her? I did a quick Google on names of roses. And have so far seen roses named Lincoln, Korbin, Alec, Alfred and Abraham. www.greeneroses.com.au/greeneroses/rosepages/rose_alphalist.php

@HolyMilkBoobiesBatman

I wouldn’t use Rose for a boy as PP have said. You could perhaps use ‘Ellis’ instead of Ella?

I think of you want to use the initials E R then I would probably stick to that for any future children so it becomes a ‘family thing’ like how some siblings all have the same initial. That way it becomes less about this child feeling like a ‘replacement’ and more about a connection for all the children.

Can’t do that as have a step daughter :-) and wouldn’t want her to feel left out haha

I wouldn't use the name 'Rose' as part of your son's name, if it were up to me; no. As others have pointed out, he'll be a person in his own right (as well as your precious Rainbow Child) who surely deserves the respect of his own name. Plus... 'Rose' is very much a feminine name and he will be teased when (and it's a "when", not an "if") his mates at school find out about it. No teenage boy is going to appreciate his parents gifting him a girl's name as part of his own, regardless of the "why" they did so.

Having said that, though, I have a great-aunt whose given name is Rose - but who is known as Roe. Which is more masculine. So, like others, I think if you're determined to commemorate Ella-Rose in your son's name, that would be a good compromise. But as others have said, more eloquently than I, above... Ella-Rose may not be with you physically, but presumably you think/talk about her - surely she should be permitted the gift you gave her of her very own name in the family?

Your beautiful daughter will always be your much-loved child and all who knew about her will always remember her. Your son will grow up knowing about his sister. Why does any part of his name have to be a tribute to her? He is his own person, as she is in your heart. Personally, I wouldn’t want my child to feel like they have to live up to the legacy of a sibling they never met and so would steer clear of deciding his name based on any similarity to his sister’s. But I’ve not been in your position, so maybe I would feel very differently.

In respect of Rose as a middle name, please don’t. I had the same middle name as my dad but with the female spelling. I was teased mercilessly through childhood for having a “boy’s name”. When I’m asked for my full name now, I try and avoid giving my middle name. I hate it.

Or a masculine version of Ella. Masculine variants: Ellar (Scottish) Ellard (German), Ellary (Teutonic), Ellasar (Biblical). Or a boy's name that has the same meaning as Rose or Ella. Our boys all got middle names that are the names of a moon in our solar system.

@LittleMimi

I think the same initials or using a male version similar to Rose for a middle name work. I believe the majority of middle names are in honour of a relative so I don’t see the automatic assumption that the child is a replacement and not an individual anymore than someone with their grandmother’s name as a middle name should be expected to be like her.

Also I wish some people would realise there’s a person at the other reading these messages and you can get your point across without being so rude and insensitive.

Well that’s what I thought most middle names originated from, just seems in this case it’s frowned upon 🤷‍♀️ but most people I know have middle names to remember another usually passed away relative…

And yeah luckily I can take these comments x but wow.

@Tal45

There are a gazillion different roses with different names - a quick google search came up with ones called Lincoln, Joseph and Eden - so what about picking a name from a rose as a link?

That’s a really awesome idea! Many thanks, an it would be a connection that no one even needs to know!

Thanks for all the suggestions of equally sounding names IE Ross, Ellis, Elliot but I was either going to use Rose or something not even related as I don’t like any of those names. But thanks

I used to know a guy called Stacey and honestly nobody said a word. To be fair he would have flattened them
Some people her speaking in a cold, insensitive cruel way.
I'm sorry for your loss op, I think you should choose whatever makes you happy.
Incidentally I also knew a boy called Sheba.
There's room in the world to be a little bit different

I think that using the same initials is perfectly fine, and a much better idea than using one of her actual names.

Ezekiel Raphael would be lovely.

My first born son died at 6 months old. His name is my daughters middle name.
It’s not to “replace”, it’s to honour. My son’s middle name is my partners dads name!

In Tamora Pierce's Magic Circl books, a character has to choose a name for himself. He really likes roses but knows he can’t choose that
So that at least partly explains where these ideas come from. I hope some authors are a bit less hidebound (if these are old books forgive me; I don't know them).

Must be my pregnancy hormones giving me crazy ideas! Haha
It's not crazy, OP. Please don't think that. Ignore people on here shutting your ideas down.

@contrary13

I wouldn't use the name 'Rose' as part of your son's name, if it were up to me; no. As others have pointed out, he'll be a person in his own right (as well as your precious Rainbow Child) who surely deserves the respect of his own name. Plus... 'Rose' is very much a feminine name and he will be teased when (and it's a "when", not an "if") his mates at school find out about it. No teenage boy is going to appreciate his parents gifting him a girl's name as part of his own, regardless of the "why" they did so.

Having said that, though, I have a great-aunt whose given name is Rose - but who is known as Roe. Which is more masculine. So, like others, I think if you're determined to commemorate Ella-Rose in your son's name, that would be a good compromise. But as others have said, more eloquently than I, above... Ella-Rose may not be with you physically, but presumably you think/talk about her - surely she should be permitted the gift you gave her of her very own name in the family?

🌹 thank you 💕

Your beautiful daughter will always be your much-loved child and all who knew about her will always remember her. Your son will grow up knowing about his sister. Why does any part of his name have to be a tribute to her? He is his own person, as she is in your heart. Personally, I wouldn’t want my child to feel like they have to live up to the legacy of a sibling they never met and so would steer clear of deciding his name based on any similarity to his sister’s. But I’ve not been in your position, so maybe I would feel very differently.

I agree.

I really like Ambrose as someone suggest earlier

@IntermittentParps they’re not all that old, and she’s actually not at all hidebound! I explained it badly, he chose Briar because he preferred the sound over Rose, rather than because he "couldn’t" use Rose. Anyway, it might be an idea the OP likes!

A friend lost her dd a couple of months after birth.The dd she had afterwards had the same middle name in her honour

I wouldn’t.

I went to school with a boy whose middle name is Mary and he had bullied horrifically because of it.
(Well, he was bullied horrifically because bullies are shits and the school didn’t deal with them, but his name was the thing they targeted).

chandyleer, I see, that's completely different then!

@Haffiana

Would you give a child the name 'Rainbow Replacement'? Or just 'Replacement' for short?

If yes, then crack on.

Ok will do 👌

How about Eros as a middle name? all the same letters and meaning the God of Love - seems more appropriate than Rose imo.

Elliot is a nice compromise. Congratulations on your pregnancy.