To use ‘Rose’ as middle name for my rainbow baby?

[Qu33nSt3ph13]

I lost my precious first born Ella-Rose October last year, now 22 weeks with our rainbow baby boy!

Would Rose work as his middle name? Please be nice, but don’t feel obliged to say yes just because of the situation :-)

Thanks

When I was at school a girl had the puss taken out of her for her middle name which was Enid. Imagine if it was a boy with the middle name Rose. Why saddle him with that? Every time someone asks him why his middle name is Rose he has to say he is named after his dead sister. Don't you think that will make him resentful? This is just one of the worst ideas ever please don't do this

Aha i read to fast and I see you are having a boy. I agree maybe altering the name slightly would be a better idea. Ros or Ross or Thorn?

Only because he’s a boy so it makes it a ‘thing’ that will draw attention to it.

I’m very sorry for your loss, but no, I wouldn’t do this. One because it is a girls name, through and through, and two because I think it would be a burden to your son to be named so directly for a lost sibling. He’s his own person, and that may make him feel like he’s ‘just’ a replacement. I am quite sure that this isn’t the case but he may feel that way.

No I wouldn’t, purely because he is a boy and I gave my son a name that is traditionally a girls name as a middle name and he is 9 now and hates it so we are going to look into changing it

I remember a boy at school who had the middle name ‘flora’ which was a family name. He was always teased about it. I’m not sure how I would feel carrying my siblings name either. Is there something similar that reminds you of rose but isn’t?

No. I think Rose would be a double burden. Labelling his place as a "rainbow" baby and lumping him with a girl's name.

Rose can also be a surname so not entirely a girls’ name. However I don’t think I would.

How about Ellis? Or Rhodes which means ‘garden of roses’? Or Ross as suggested earlier?

I wouldn't x

Could you find a male variation? That would be a nice nod, without giving a girls name to a boy (which would be really hard for them). I do think it may contribute to feeling like a replacement though, sorry.

Well this went well lol 😂

First of all I’m not labelling him a ‘rainbow’ baby or will treat him as a replacement.
I mean one day clearly it’s going to come out, since we have a few bits and pieces / memories of her around the house.
And it’s not physically possibly for him to be alive if she wasn’t, not that I would tell him that, but he may work it out.

Perhaps I worded my question wrong because I’m not asking for opinions on using his dead sisters name as so kindly put for his middle name.
More whether it would be ok to use Rose on a boy.

Trust me if this baby was a girl, wouldn’t ask Rose would be the middle name and I’m quite happy with that decision.

I think keeping their names separate is actually a better recognition of Ella-Rose as a whole member of your family, IYSWIM. And no, with kindness, not Rose for a boy.

As I said my son hates his female middle name so no don’t use it. Ross sounds like a better compromise

Crossposted with your last OP, apologies.

The male version of Rose is Royce. I choose family names as middle names. I don't think it's fair to tie a child to a deceased sibling and even more unfair to give them a an opposite sex name. My Grandmother did it with my Uncle, his middle name is Ave. He hated her for it. People assumed it was different in France, he had a French surname and French speaking origins, but he still didn't get away with it.

Yeah! Probably, he will grow up knowing about his sister anyway :) I just miss her sometimes

Your child deserves not to being a living headstone to your loss.

As a child that was concieved because of the same circumstance its wierd enough knowing I wasnt the 'original', that im techincally a replacement and I wouldnt be here had my brother not died without then being forever reminded of it in my name which is MY personal identity.

Remember and love your lost baby (it never goes away) but also remember THIS child is completely seperate from than and deserves to be viewed entirely on his own.

Alright so my other idea is him having the same initials.

Because we like the name Ezekiel, so what about an R middle name? Or is that a no go too…. Thanks 😊

First of all I’m not labelling him a ‘rainbow’ baby

Except you did, in your OP! I'm very sorry for the loss of your firstborn, OP, but I'm a hard no for giving your son a female middle name. He will get mercifully teased at best and bullied at worst, at school and beyond.

I lost my DS three years ago and currently pregnant with his little brother, so I understand the complexities of a rainbow pregnancy. In my case, my rainbow baby is going to have his older brother's name as one of his middle names. I don't see it as "saddling" him with anything or making him feel like a replacement. More a connection to the brother he will sadly never meet.

Had we been having a girl, we would have used a female form of our late son's name for one of her middle names. His name was Robert, so her middle name would have been Robyn.

So, in this case, I would find a male name related to your DDs name and use that. You can also always have more than one middle name if you would like.

In addition to currently experiencing a rainbow pregnancy, I am also a Rainbow baby myself. My parents lost their child at 16 weeks gestation and never knew the baby's gender or named them. I feel weird not really having a connection to my older brother or sister.

@mam0918

Your child deserves not to being a living headstone to your loss.

As a child that was concieved because of the same circumstance its wierd enough knowing I wasnt the 'original', that im techincally a replacement and I wouldnt be here had my brother not died without then being forever reminded of it in my name which is MY personal identity.

Remember and love your lost baby (it never goes away) but also remember THIS child is completely seperate from than and deserves to be viewed entirely on his own.

Thank you for the insight of your own personal experience.

@Qu33nSt3ph13

Alright so my other idea is him having the same initials.

Because we like the name Ezekiel, so what about an R middle name? Or is that a no go too…. Thanks 😊

Of course this is fine, and a nice subtle link between them.

it's not physically possible for him to be alive if she wasn't

That was the case with me and my older brother. I did work it out and honestly it's not a comfortable feeling. As a grown up I can rationalise it because, of course, it is incredibly unlikely that any given person is born at all but as a teen I did spend a lot of time wondering which one of us my mum would have chosen. I am glad I dont share his name.

How about Ezekiel Briar . Briar is a form of Rose and means health

@saraclara

First of all I’m not labelling him a ‘rainbow’ baby

Except you did, in your OP! I'm very sorry for the loss of your firstborn, OP, but I'm a hard no for giving your son a female middle name. He will get mercifully teased at best and bullied at worst, at school and beyond.

The way some of the comments read is that he would be known in ‘real life’ as a rainbow baby. I was just given the back story & plus rainbow 🌈 baby sounds sweet.

But yup marked it off the list now. Got it.