Sitting sobbing at work

[sleepismyhobby]

A bit of background I'm a agency nurse and go around different nursing homes and hospital wards .
I'm working in a place I've never been before and I heard sniggering going on between the Care staff. This male carer came in and said have I ever heard of Austin powers as I look like him!
I told him he was really rude he's now went back to his unit . I'm sat in the nurses office sobbing , I've been having real self esteem issues lately due to putting on some weight during look down. And to be told I look like a character with bad teeth was the final straw ( I look nothing like him )

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

I think he was joking, pull yourself together and go check on your residents.

Not kind. If you choose to normalise this kind of behaviour from other staff, that's your problem, not OP's.

OP just wanted to say it’s ok to be upset by something that was said. Ignore the ‘pull yourself together’ crap. We can be sad but also be professional and stand up for ourselves. As complex beings we have the capacity to do a mixture of things. But by denying the hurt feelings we do ourselves no favour.

Hope the rest of your shift was ok!

If I were you I'd be tempted to report this place to the cqc tbh, sounds appalling, and as you've said, you won't be going back and I'd bet any decent carers or nurses have left because of the culture - leaving behind the ones you've encountered.

This is why care needs a massive overhaul and the bloody cqc need to get their fingers out of their arses and actually do things to stop this kind of crap going on.
Not to diss your job, because agency nurses and carers are a Godsend when you have issues with sickness and holiday cover, but IME somewhere that needs them very regularly is somewhere that struggles to keep it's staff - and there's a reason for that.
Right now people are far more bothered about carers having a covid vaccination than actually being good at the job. Well I'd bet this guy's been vaccinated! And he's still an arsehole, and fills the 'criteria' for being able to work with vulnerable people.

I've left similar places because there were cliques and people who actually wanted to do the job we were supposed to and care for people were mocked and belittled. I reported, never heard anything. The only way to tackle these places is for us good ones to report, and keep reporting, and for the governing bodies and society to start bloody listening instead of taking the easy option and allowing these places to continue to operate.

I hope your shift tonight goes better!

What a nob! Hope you are feeling better OP.

You're doing a great job and deserve respect.

It's fine to cry, he hit your sore spot from being bullied years ago.

Let's hope he gets some karma down the line.

Well done for telling him he was rude, OP. Too many people (myself included) would have laughed it off to cover embarrassment despite feeling shitty about it - meaning he'd have gone and done it to someone else. More people need to be held accountable for their misbehaviour.

Hopefully you've spared someone else from his shittiness.

I would think he said this as a power trip. He enjoys making people feel bad. It’s a very mean thing to say and he knows it. Try to rise above it and remember his opinion of you is not important to you.

@Toilenstripes

You can change your looks, he can’t change his evil soul. Tell him that. Then treat yourself after your shift. 💐

Find your thick skin and laugh at his idiotic comments. Workplaces are full of brainless morons. Look at mine

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I was a nurse. Quite honestly there is no way I'd be sitting there crying Id have wiped the floor with the. And reported them to management. You can do this if you are agency as you wl never have to go back there. You should report them. People like this shouldn't be looking after venerable people.

A lot of solidarity coming from nurses on this thread Maybe the OP was so shocked, she needed time to process it? And I take it venerable people was an autocorrect?

Former teacher here. A kid once told me I looked like Nanny McPhee. It really upset me.

I am sorry this happened. It really hurts. Please make a formal complaint against this horrible man.

If he says anything else look him up & down, raise eyebrow & -ask him how old he is? & that you know 8 year olds that wouldn't say such silly things
(some people are idiots)

When I was a kid I was plain and gawky and I overheard an unkind remark where a woman on the bus compared me to my pretty younger sister. My mother failed to respond and the incident stayed with me. Later I lamented to my grandmother that it was unfair that I was "ugly" and my sister was so pretty.

My grandmother was a very straightforward woman who did not mince words. She told me that I was not "ugly" but plain, and explained that plain meant ordinary. She then went on to say that many of the great actresses of the day were, in fact, quite plain without their makeup, fashionable clothes and props. But their greatest talent was that of their ability as actresses to make people believe they were beautiful.

If my gran had been in charge of the nursing station that night she would have remarked cuttingly that someone whose appearance is not conventionally attractive still had the power to make the best of themselves. However someone who made such remarks would always be ugly inside

My grandmother was a very wise woman.

I’m so sorry, what a childish and shitty thing to say to you.

I haven’t read all the replies, but I hope you put in a complaint to the manager and I would suggest copying in your agency too. Ask how they deal with bullying and and don’t let them brush it under the carpet!
I’m also an agency nurse and although I’ve not had any direct nastiness like you, there’s always an element of us being lesser nurses than permanent staff! They really shoot them selves in the foot as shifts end up not getting covered in places where it’s common place!

Luckily OP isn't going back tonight. It does raise concerns about the residents

What the fuck? 100% report him! In what world is that acceptable?? He sounds like a nasty sort.

@memberofthewedding your grandmother was wise indeed. So true.

There are 'beautiful' people who are ghastly, and 'plain' people (I count myself proudly amongst this tribe!) who are beautiful in the all the ways that matter.

I know what I'd rather be.

Night shifts are not the easiest, and having to work where you don’t know the set up and staff can be really tough.
Hope you get a good rest. You don’t have to go back, so because of his stupid behaviour the home have lost a nurse.
I always tried to be decent to agency staff.
I wanted them to return as we were so short staffed.

You will never look like Austin Powers and he will always be a massive knob head. People definitely know he’s a massive knob head.

Glad you’re going to escalate it (about both him and the home in general). It sounds terrible.

I think he was joking, pull yourself together and go check on your residents.

Joking is not an excuse for nastiness. And OP should complain, most of all to protect the welfare of the residents. He was horrible to her, but she can leave; they can't.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

Sorry to be harsh but I am the same age as you and also a nurse, I have had more insults working in this profession than anywhere else, if he is a carer pull him to one side, reprimand him then document the incident, but with respect stand up for yourself.

How do you know what OP's age is?

He’s an absolute prick for starters I wouldn’t tolerate that but that’s me I joined a job at 18 and a half that was male dominated, had to learn very quickly to stand up for myself and give as good as I got. i would have said something like thanks for noticing Austin gets loads of fucks and I’m going to give you one the house fuck off.

Hope you’re ok, the human race can be so mean, he was out of order and rude.

If it's any consolation, I was once told by an idiot at work that I looked like : 'A cross between Myra Hindley and Hattie Jacques'.
I took his lunch box out of the fridge, and used a bicycle lock to fix it to the water pipes.

He got his lunch box back after 3 cups of tea, and an apology.

What a rude, pathetic bunch. Sorry you’ve experienced this OP.

I'm currently an agency nurse and have worked in places where permanent staff don't like agency staff as they get paid a lot more than them (and especially a nurse v a carer) therefore they are rude/offhand etc. Inform the home manager of the incident in writing and also your agency. Please don't let some idiot upset you like this (I know that's easy for me to say), it says more about him that anything else. I also doubt he's Brad Pitt himself!

Crikey, is he 15 by any chance? What an idiot, he sounds like a horrible school kid. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you at all, everything wrong with him.

That's horrible, OP. He had no right to say that to you, or indeed to anyone else. I have every sympathy for you needing, on your break, to tell someone what happened - and that's exactly the sort of thing MN is for!

It's also quite worrying. If he feels perfectly relaxed about attempting to bully you, a fellow professional who can walk out at any time, he probably feels even more relaxed about bullying the care home residents, who are dependent on his care. He really does need pulling up, and I hope your complaint about him gets some traction.