Sitting sobbing at work

[sleepismyhobby]

A bit of background I'm a agency nurse and go around different nursing homes and hospital wards .
I'm working in a place I've never been before and I heard sniggering going on between the Care staff. This male carer came in and said have I ever heard of Austin powers as I look like him!
I told him he was really rude he's now went back to his unit . I'm sat in the nurses office sobbing , I've been having real self esteem issues lately due to putting on some weight during look down. And to be told I look like a character with bad teeth was the final straw ( I look nothing like him )

Oh yes that thread where people were telling really sad and awful secrets and some people thought it was funny to harp on about shagging Dave from work and took it way beyond when it was ever even slightly amusing.

Hmm, I didn't read that thread, so I wasn't aware of this. I wonder if I should change my name early so I don't look like an idiot.

That's just awful. Nasty man. It says more about him than you. Speaking as someone who was bullied and still suffers with low self esteem years later that kind of nasty comment is just not acceptable.

I’m glad you’re going to report him, OP. That takes courage. He’s presuming that you feel too humiliated to tell anyone. I’m not usually in favour of trying to get people sacked, but I genuinely fear for anyone helpless in his care. I hope you can impress this on his employers.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

Sorry to be harsh but I am the same age as you and also a nurse, I have had more insults working in this profession than anywhere else, if he is a carer pull him to one side, reprimand him then document the incident, but with respect stand up for yourself.

You aren't sorry though are you? And just because this profession has more insults than anywhere you've worked, that does not make it ok. Being so dismissive of it and "oh haha aren't I so cool thinking you taking the piss out of me is funny" is why people think it's ok to carry on doing it

Sleepismyhobby, I recently stayed with a relative dying of cancer, who lived alone and didn’t want to go into hospital. With help from professionals, the extended family took care of her and made sure she was never alone.

I have been grieving over things I could have done better, and wondering if she would have had more competent care in hospital or a home. Your experience makes me so relieved that she died at home as she wished.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger has form for these kind of comments, across many threads.

They frequently appear, say something contrarian or diminishing to be OP & enjoy the attention they get.

Puerile.

OP hope you're doing ok this morning & the rest of your shift was ok. That was horrible & incredible in a workplace. I see you were both calling him out, and reporting it. Good. 💐

I just dont get this, I have read many times on MN about the fact that this sort of bullying and nastiness goes on amoungst care staff and always has done, I understand that sometimes black humour will help after a very difficult situation, but really!, why does the type of 'humour' the OP has been subjected too be acceptable?, this is a professional work place and the professionals are allegedly 'caring' for extremly poorly and vunerable people, it shows a total lack of caring, empathy and kindness that should be a given in a caring profession, its also rude, childish and stupid - report it OP and dont let it go until you get an apology!

Just got in spent 5 hours waiting on an ambulance for a resident with suspected sepsis. I will never set foot in that place as long as I live!
I was trying to give handover time dayshift nurse a very serious handover about a very ill resident and she kept interrupting me speaking over my head with the carers and asking me to repeat what I just said !
It's no wonder the male carer was so rude when the nurse in charge acts like that.
I'm away to bed now as working again tonight but thankfully somewhere nice.
I'll email my manager when I get up. Thanks for all the kind and helpful replies

Him "have you seen Austin powers cos you look like him"

You "have you seen Shrek?"

I wonder whether @IAmDaveTheSerialShagger is the arsewipe the OP encountered last night.

I hope you are OK, OP. I'm glad you will report him. Tell your agency that you don't wish to go back there due to the apparent culture of bullying and that the behaviour of the staff (the childish sniggering and the supposed "joke" at your expense) gives you cause for concern about the residents.

I'm afraid I don't share the faith of some that he wouldn't bully the vulnerable residents given half a chance. He is a bully, and bullies like a power trip. They are weak people and it gives them a sense of power.

Don't worry OP, this guy must have a real inferiority complex, maybe because as a nurse you are superior to him, probably wanted to bring you down a peg or two. I would try and take all their names and put in a formal complaint to their managers and tell your agency not to send you there again. And even if you look like Austin powers, so effing what, you don't exist to look pretty for some inferior beta males.

So sorry you had to experience these nasty people op. Please report them. It's so scary to think they are in charge of vulnerable people. If they can do this to you so brazenly I can't imagine what they do the poor people they care for.

Some folk are arseholes pure and simple OP.

You met one last night.

I’d be reporting it. Good luck.

Completely unprofessional of him and crossing a boundary. I would raise this with his boss as this is unlikely to be an isolated incident.

You are a caring and hard-working nurse, how dare he speak to you like that. I hope you can try not to think about it, what a bully. I think I'd write to HR, he really overstepped the line.

Bluntness has the answer: "That's rude. Why would you say that?"
Stops them in their tracks.

OP, that place has a toxic culture, it's clear, and it always comes from the top. You are privileged to be able to decide never to go back; the residents can't.

Hes obviously a nasty person.Youll be leaving soon so try not to give it any more headspace.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

Sorry to be harsh but I am the same age as you and also a nurse, I have had more insults working in this profession than anywhere else, if he is a carer pull him to one side, reprimand him then document the incident, but with respect stand up for yourself.

And also with respect, if this is an indication of your general attitude then you should be nowhere near vulnerable patients

Sorry to hear of the rudeness, OP. Some people have no manners.

I was once told by a then-colleague that I had an invisible 'S' on my head for 'single' as no one would ever find me attractive.

I'm glad you're out of that hellhole OP :)

He was very rude and nasty. And if he can act like that to a nurse, one wonders how he behaves to the patients.

Saying something is just a joke doesn’t make it ok. Is a racist joke ok? No. And a nasty “joke” about someone’s appearance is still bullying.

Men have used the “just a joke/banter” line forever to try to make women put up with harassment and undermining nastiness - we don’t have to go along with it.

OP what you said about triggering resonates with me - I was badly bullied too. It can be decades ago and you can be a strong professional person but things can sometimes just get to you. I understand why you had a cry but I’m glad you’re not taking it lying down and you feel better.

And there's nothing wrong with you; there's something wrong with that nursing home.

Vicious and so unnecessary. You're doing an amazing job in the most wretched of times. Thank you.

People like your tormentors do not belong in the care industry (or possibly even any people-facing role). I hope they have to face the consequences of their BS and face the consequences for their cruelty.

Stay strong. xx

This has really annoyed me. It's the sort of thing boys in school would have said not a bloody grown adult at work. Prick.