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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sitting sobbing at work

165 replies

sleepismyhobby · 16/06/2021 02:33

A bit of background I'm a agency nurse and go around different nursing homes and hospital wards .
I'm working in a place I've never been before and I heard sniggering going on between the Care staff. This male carer came in and said have I ever heard of Austin powers as I look like him!
I told him he was really rude he's now went back to his unit . I'm sat in the nurses office sobbing , I've been having real self esteem issues lately due to putting on some weight during look down. And to be told I look like a character with bad teeth was the final straw ( I look nothing like him )

OP posts:
blubberball · 16/06/2021 04:04

The fuck is wrong with people?!

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. Some days stuff like this can be water off a duck's back, and you can respond appropriately. Other days it can be the straw that breaks the camel's back on top of everything else you've got going on. Definitely report, and I hope he gets a bollocking. What scum!

sashh · 16/06/2021 04:26

Report.

Request not to work there again.

He won't last if they can't get agency staff.

Blossomsbloom · 16/06/2021 04:43

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger
I think he was joking
It's not a joke, don't make excuses for rudeness.
pull yourself together and go check on your residents
Could you be any more patronising?

IAmDaveTheSerialShagger · 16/06/2021 05:08

@BettyBurntBuns ok I am not sorry Biscuit

RosieLemonade · 16/06/2021 05:39

That's rubbish. My sister is size six and tiny with an elfin face and one of her students said she looked like Gaston!

HOkieCOkie · 16/06/2021 05:54

What a horrible person, there is no justification for that kind of nastiness. Hope you report him.

NameyNameyNameChangey · 16/06/2021 06:07

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

I think he was joking, pull yourself together and go check on your residents.
Only it's not funny and has made OP feel like shit (understandably) So not really a "joke" it's just being nasty for no reason.
frumpety · 16/06/2021 06:07

They are clearly struggling staffing wise if they are needing to use agency staff, can't imagine why ?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/06/2021 06:13

I was a nurse. Quite honestly there is no way I'd be sitting there crying Id have wiped the floor with the. And reported them to management. You can do this if you are agency as you wl never have to go back there. You should report them. People like this shouldn't be looking after venerable people.

Peachee · 16/06/2021 06:15

There really are some mindless tools around. I agree with op treat yourself after your shift or after you’ve had a sleep. You are doing a tremendous job xx

Bluntness100 · 16/06/2021 06:19

God this shit stings op. And stays with you. The issue is him not you,

Years ago I was at an event, having a great time with some friends, laughing and dancing. This woman my age at the time, mid twenties, who I’d never met before, stood up and walked over the hall and stood next to me, I turned smiled and said hi and she said “ you do know you look like boy George don’t you?”

I was honestly stunned. I responded, “ you do know boy George is a man don’t you” and she gave me this cats arse smirk and nodded yes, so I asked her why she’d felt the need to stand up and walk a hundred feet over to me. a complete stranger, to tell me that, ans she just stood there like a total lemon staring at me.

My friends got upset on my behalf, and told her she was out of line and to fuck off, but she just stood staring at me, clearly to see if I was upset. But I just stared back confused and asked her why she felt so driven to insult a total stranger

I clearly don’t look like boy George, other than long day hair, (😂) the issue was hers and hers alone, and that’s what you need to remember. The issue is his and his alone. Don’t make it yours. The reason it stayed with me was because it was just such an odd thing to feel driven to go snd insult someone.

He’s a bully, the issue is his report it and let someone else deal with him. Because you won’t be the first or the last he’s tried to bully. It will be someone else tomorrow

SilenceTime · 16/06/2021 06:38

"I look like Austin Powers? Oh well, at least I am not a massive wanker like you".

thelegohooverer · 16/06/2021 06:43

Please report him if you can op. People like him should not be working with vulnerable patients. If you report him, it might be part of a pattern, or might cause someone to keep a closer eye.

I’ve had a vulnerable elderly relative hospitalised twice during this pandemic with no visitors allowed and what happens in hospitals with no oversight is chilling.

I know I’m massively projecting. But people who take pleasure in hurting others should be called out.

Frownette · 16/06/2021 06:46

Perhaps they have stupid dares with agency staff

Teacupsandtoast · 16/06/2021 06:48

Hope you're ok and you're reporting his behaviour this morning. Just remember what a tiny penis-ed 'man' he is if this is the way he asserts his masculinity

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 16/06/2021 06:51

Well, given that the absolute foundation of a joke is that it's funny, it wasn't a joke. And anyone who bases their comedy arsenal on an Austin Powers reference is the very tiresome sort of person who still does 'bits' from 'Little Britain', 'The Office' and those Budweiser ads of 20 years ago. We don't have to worry about those sort of people. They've got problems enough.
Worth pointing out, too, that the only person who thinks you're overreacting has a username which alludes to the hilarious subthread (I think the OP was along the lines of 'Tell me your deepest darkest secret') about the volume of people fucking 'Dave from work'. Definitely don't need to worry about what whey think.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/06/2021 07:00

spiteful, bullying and uncalled-for remark. Please report him. If he is behaving this way towards you he will be similarly disrespectful towards vulnerable patients.

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger - This isn't just a bit of silliness between long-standing colleagues which has accidentally gone too far. This is deliberate and brutal attempt to upset and undermine someone. You might be comfortable being spoken to like that - that's your choice - others aren't. You're dismissive "Oh it's nothing" attitude is exactly how people like this vile man get away with misogynistic behaviour, and why good people leave the profession.

Grimacingfrog · 16/06/2021 07:03

@LobotomisedIceSkatingFan

Well, given that the absolute foundation of a joke is that it's funny, it wasn't a joke. And anyone who bases their comedy arsenal on an Austin Powers reference is the very tiresome sort of person who still does 'bits' from 'Little Britain', 'The Office' and those Budweiser ads of 20 years ago. We don't have to worry about those sort of people. They've got problems enough. Worth pointing out, too, that the only person who thinks you're overreacting has a username which alludes to the hilarious subthread (I think the OP was along the lines of 'Tell me your deepest darkest secret') about the volume of people fucking 'Dave from work'. Definitely don't need to worry about what whey think.
Totally this!

Usually I enjoy the odd sub thread, but that one was one of the least funny ever. Shows the level of 'humour' of the poster and the bloke in the OP.

The guy was a nasty bully, OP. I totally understand why you were upset. No one likes to be insulted about their looks. But it was just to get a cheap laugh, and says way, way more about him than you.

TortolaParadise · 16/06/2021 07:09

@sleepismyhobby I hope you are feeling ok. Just checking in with you.

Brefugee · 16/06/2021 07:11

As pp said if they're using agency staff, they need help. Can you tell your agency that that you don't feel that they should be sending any of their employees there until their own staff have some training about how to behave?

FWIW: it's not a joke, and it's not funny. The kind of person who would make "jokes" about people's appearances has made a funny choice of employment to go into caring.

Clarice99 · 16/06/2021 07:16

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

I think he was joking, pull yourself together and go check on your residents.
It's only a joke when both parties find it funny and the OP clearly did not find it funny. Because it wasn't funny, in the slightest.

The man is a bullying fuckwit who has no right to make nasty comments about someone's looks/appearance.

OP, it's not you, it's him. He's an arsehole.

Flowers
HOkieCOkie · 16/06/2021 07:17

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger not a joke when it hurts a persons feelings.

ChewtonRoad · 16/06/2021 07:19

sleepismyhobby, the male carer has shown you who he is - believe him. It wasn't a joke or (vom) bantz, it wasn't funny, and his behaviour needs to be reported.

tensmum1964 · 16/06/2021 07:29

@IAmDaveTheSerialShagger

I think he was joking, pull yourself together and go check on your residents.
Seriously you think this is funny?? What a complete arse you must be. Mind you, your mn name says it all.
Bluesheep8 · 16/06/2021 07:30

People like this shouldn't be looking after venerable people.

This would be my concern. And should form part of your complaint. I'm so sorry that someone doing such a vital and important job has to deal with bullying like this Flowers