to be a little disappointed at what DD said

[Tradwifedd]

I was talking to DD (17 next week) today and the topic of children came up. DD said she wanted to get married relatively young and give up work and raise children. When I asked further she said she wouldn’t mind cooking and cleaning for her future DH if he earned all the money. I know DD is allowed to lead her own life but Aibu to be a little bit disappointed that she seems to be so 1950s?

It's not that it's more fulfilling @morepizza! It's that as an adult, you need to be able to financially support your life. As a human it should be a basic benchmark. It's NOT women's fault that society is structure so badly against women being able or willing to do that. The patriarchy is to blame for WHY it's not doable for many women.

There is nothing more important than my kids. But I shouldn't have to give up my safety and independence to have them.

I think it’s entirely true. One day our descendants will look at our lifestyles and marvel that children were cared for by strangers.

People are only strangers the first time you meet them

Honestly, I think future generations will think the opposite to the above poster.

[quote Sweak]@viques I hope you are joking? No one should pick their degree course based on trying to find a man with a big earning potential.[/quote]
I thought the emoji would be enough for even the hard of thinking.

I think it’s entirely true. One day our descendants will look at our lifestyles and marvel that children were cared for by strangers.

This is what I think.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

People are only strangers the first time you meet them

Honestly, I think future generations will think the opposite to the above poster.

The staff turn over in EY is about 30%

But I shouldn't have to give up my safety and independence to have them.

You're assuming that SAHMs give up their safety and independence 😂

She’s still very young. She may well change her mind.

She's 17, she'll no doubt she that as much less desirerable as she gets more life experience. I'm sure I had much lower standards at that age too.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

It's not that it's more fulfilling *@morepizza*! It's that as an adult, you need to be able to financially support your life. As a human it should be a basic benchmark. It's NOT women's fault that society is structure so badly against women being able or willing to do that. The patriarchy is to blame for WHY it's not doable for many women.

There is nothing more important than my kids. But I shouldn't have to give up my safety and independence to have them.

What's un safe about looking after your own kids? Maybe I'm more likely to step on lego? And what's happened to my independence? Do I need a permission form to pop to the beach with the DCs? Should I get written consent everytime I use my bank card? Do I need DH to wipe my arse and clean my chin after dinner? Am I suddenly In a wheelchair?

What sort of role model are you? Have you always worked or were you a SAHM and she's following your example?

@Sittingonarock

What sort of role model are you? Have you always worked or were you a SAHM and she's following your example?

She's probably a 20 something male Youtuber posing as a mum to wind us all up.

No replies to this post and no previous, so probably.

Bless. She's 17. She knows so little.

I remember the days of my teens where I thought being at home with children would be lovely, carefree sunny days. And that SAHM must have a lovely time.

Then you grow up and realise that your own career, money and life is worth quite a lot. And marrying a rich man is all a bit Mills and Boon and unlikely. I wouldn't worry over much.

She may turn out to be a hard boiled career woman who rejects marriage and children entirely.

However - one of the benefits (imho) of feminism is that women should have the right to choose how they'd like to live their lives.

@shivawn

She's 17, she'll no doubt she that as much less desirerable as she gets more life experience. I'm sure I had much lower standards at that age too.

I'm a SAHM and can assure you that having 'low standards' had nothing to do with me making that decision.

The judgement on this thread is appalling.

@Sittingonarock

What sort of role model are you? Have you always worked or were you a SAHM and she's following your example?

What sort of role model are you?

My older DD's have lived through what could have been a worse experience if I didn't have my own income.

They both are adamant they will never be reliant on anyone financially. but both are also very passionate about the fields they want to eventually work in, I think that helps as well.

As for childcare both have had very positive experiences of childcare and we are still in regular contact with at least one of their former childminders, so that also helps.

@morepizza WTAF?? I didn't post, I was just asking OP? I didn't make any judgement, unlike you!

@morepizza you need to get yourself a job lady and stop being so bloody precious.

[quote Sittingonarock]@morepizza you need to get yourself a job lady and stop being so bloody precious.[/quote]
Hah. I have an occupation, thanks.

@morepizza

Haha yeah I bet - Holly and Phil your employers?

[quote Sittingonarock]@morepizza

Haha yeah I bet - Holly and Phil your employers?[/quote]
You're making an idiot of yourself.

You're making an idiot of yourself

She’s not alone. The judgement and defensiveness on this thread is shocking. Have paid work, stay at home, do whatever you want but don’t jeer at or judge people who make different choices.

[quote Sittingonarock]@morepizza

Haha yeah I bet - Holly and Phil your employers?[/quote]
What's the reference here? Who are Holly and Phil?

@CheeseIsATypeOfMeat Daytime tv - This Morning specifically