People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

[JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil]

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

What a bitter, jealous comment!

And what about the people who don't have time on their side? what about those, like my DH, with a terminal diagnosis? Are we allowed to feel a little upset that, on top of covid delaying his diagnosis and therefore any chance of survival, that we couldn't have the wedding he wanted?

I had the exact wedding I wanted and the exact memories I wanted. It may not be the worst tragedy of the pandemic, but I can understand why someone would be upset if they were denied the same thing, even if it is necessary.

I do wonder why they don't get married at a registry office and hang on for the big party.

(Disclaimer, never been married, never likely to marry and don't even know 30 people).

@SarahBellam

I think it has made weddings far better. They’ve got completely out of hand. Back in the day they were a local celebration for family and local friends; now they’re overwrought masterpieces with idiot things like favours, massive flower arrangements, sweet trucks (WTF), and they go on and on FOREVER. They’re just exhausting - hours spent hanging around, talking to people you don’t know, have no interest in, and will never meet again, stupid shoes, a ridiculous dress…God, some parts are nausea inducing. When I think about how much money and time and brain space I spent on my wedding I could puke. The marriage certificate is the important thing. Everything else is just the window dressing.

So you had it, but no one else should have it. Riiiight.

Fwiw we haven't spent much on our wedding at all, there will be no massive flower arrangements or sweet carts but apparently I'm still not allowed to be upset about it.

But it is melodramatic to say they can’t move on in their life etc. If you want to be married you have been able to do that at various periods in the last 15 months. The big celebration can wait, if necessary.

As with everything COVID things are just different, and we have all learned to have to adapt.

YANBU. this whole "what about weddings" crao has been driving me barmy. Especially the melodrama that some brides (why is it often the brides?) are spouting. It's not "insta perfect", but the day is hardly going to be ruined.
Tbh I'm surprised some are still engaged. If my fiance were more het up over singjng/dancing and no. of guests than actually getting married (you can always have that big celebration on an anniversary or something), then I dont think I'd be engaged to them much longer.
I also have personally been more inspired by the people whose reaction to the pandemic is "wow, life is short and unpredictable, anything can happen. I dont want to waste another day not being your husband/wife..let's get married now!". I know it's not for everyone but I've attended some zoom weddings at some of the most restricted points of the pandemic that were absolutely magical (one couple had been together decades and suddenly realised how important this was to them, and wanted her parents to be able to witness it before their health declined).
I know its judges, as people can do what they want, but I'm also allowed to have an opinion...but all these couples going on about some beach of human rights for not being able to have their "magical" day exactly how they want it, sound the least "magical" to me. You cant buy "magical" from a venue or a band....

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.

It's also distinguished between those who have a little bit of understanding and those who can't wait to get their spiteful oars in at the first opportunity.

@ineedaholidaynow

But it is melodramatic to say they can’t move on in their life etc. If you want to be married you have been able to do that at various periods in the last 15 months. The big celebration can wait, if necessary.

As with everything COVID things are just different, and we have all learned to have to adapt.

We haven't all learned to adapt because a lot of us got the wedding we wanted before covid. Some of us are having do adapt and when we are struggling with that we get insulted and called princesses and told we only care about the party.

It's vile.

I feel very sorry for people who have had their wedding plans disrupted so often. But if it was me I would get married regardless as soon as churches/venues allowed. Too many people are all about being a princess for the day which really isn't the point.

I have been married almost 7 years now but I can see this is a spiteful post aimed towards brides to be. My df has terminal cancer now but I look back on my wedding with fond memories, my df walking me down the aisle the father daughter dance before he got poorly. I have photos of it to look back on . I can completely see why so many brides are frustrated no singing dancing or mingling doesn't sound very joyous wedding.

@LilMidge01

YANBU. this whole "what about weddings" crao has been driving me barmy. Especially the melodrama that some brides (why is it often the brides?) are spouting. It's not "insta perfect", but the day is hardly going to be ruined. Tbh I'm surprised some are still engaged. If my fiance were more het up over singjng/dancing and no. of guests than actually getting married (you can always have that big celebration on an anniversary or something), then I dont think I'd be engaged to them much longer. I also have personally been more inspired by the people whose reaction to the pandemic is "wow, life is short and unpredictable, anything can happen. I dont want to waste another day not being your husband/wife..let's get married now!". I know it's not for everyone but I've attended some zoom weddings at some of the most restricted points of the pandemic that were absolutely magical (one couple had been together decades and suddenly realised how important this was to them, and wanted her parents to be able to witness it before their health declined). I know its judges, as people can do what they want, but I'm also allowed to have an opinion...but all these couples going on about some beach of human rights for not being able to have their "magical" day exactly how they want it, sound the least "magical" to me. You cant buy "magical" from a venue or a band....

You can get "magical" with all your loved ones there by weirdly you've ignored that bit. Wonder why.

@AuntieStella

I've just been a saddo and checked. Weddings were banned at the start of the first lockdown, but were permitted to resume in June 2020. Weddings in extremis began before that, but I can't find the date.

They then shut down again throughout November, reopened in December for a week before some areas went to tier 4, then they shut down again until 12th April (England). Even then there was a big debate as you could hold a wedding from 12th but most venues weren't allowed to open until 17th May to do them (later overturned)

@megletthesecond

I do wonder why they don't get married at a registry office and hang on for the big party.

(Disclaimer, never been married, never likely to marry and don't even know 30 people).

Well, you've surely answered your own question. The short version is "because they are different people to you".

@getyourarseofffthequattro you can be a bit upset sure. However to act as though couples to be married are one of the victims of the pandemic, or that your happiness/marrying the love of your life is "ruined" by it and your wedding cant go ahead.....

I understand their upset but agree some of the language used is a bit much, if they want to get married to let them move on with their life they can do so.

@Mulberry974

I feel very sorry for people who have had their wedding plans disrupted so often. But if it was me I would get married regardless as soon as churches/venues allowed. Too many people are all about being a princess for the day which really isn't the point.

How would you have a booked a date when the register office had none? How would you have attended with only two people and two witnesses and no childcare open for your children to attend?

It's stupid to say "I would just have done it" when you have literally no fucking idea what it entailed.

[quote LilMidge01]@getyourarseofffthequattro you can be a bit upset sure. However to act as though couples to be married are one of the victims of the pandemic, or that your happiness/marrying the love of your life is "ruined" by it and your wedding cant go ahead.....[/quote]
Why shouldn't they act like that? THEIR wedding has been ruined. They can't have the wedding they planned. Stop belittling other people's feelings. They are one of the victims so stop pretending otherwise.

I mostly agree. Our wedding was postponed 3 times and all we wanted was our little family wedding with 15 people and at least a sit down meal afterwards. We were so happy when finally we'd chosen the right date and were able to do it, and it was such a special day. Was so nice to have close family together after such a difficult year and even though the limit changed to 30 we kept the guest list the same.
I think people need to be grateful of what they CAN do not what they can't.. if I were in their shoes and found out all my guests could come I'd be over the moon, whether they can dance indoors or not.

It is rubbish for them, I really feel for people who aren't able to get married in the way they would like.

Personally I would probably just get married quietly then throw a big party when we are able. But other people feel different and I think people are allowed to moan about it, even though other people have worse issues.

Weddings are often emotional.
My mates were due to get married at the end of march last year, it was pushed back to July, then October, then this April and eventually this June.
Their immediate family was over 30 and they have a couple of very elderly relatives so they were desperately trying to have the wedding before they passed.

Every time new restrictions have come into play, she's been a nervous wreck. The whole thing has been ruined for her now and she had had everything planned last year and came so close! They've ended up 'settling' for a compromise wedding which will still be lovely, but not what they wanted.

Even then there was a big debate as you could hold a wedding from 12th but most venues weren't allowed to open until 17th May to do them (later overturned)

Churches could hold weddings and fairly easy ways to arrange a wedding in your local church without needing banns read etc. And "venues" are generally for the reception rather than the wedding anyway.

I'm not saying it's not upsetting and confusing and generally frustrating for those who have cancelled and rebooked and then had to cancel again. I cannot imagine how shit it is to be watching every announcement with bated breath. But I am saying that it's been possible to get married in its simplest form for quite some time. It's been less easy to have a wedding reception which is the bit that a lot of people seem to care far more about.

I totally agree with you. It’s a symptom of people wanting the day and forgetting what a wedding is all about, ie the marriage and what follows the wedding day. It seems a bit petty to moan about this. No one is stopping anyone from getting married, it’s the party they can’t have.

I would have the ceremony and the reception at a later date. Job done.

@Mulberry974

I feel very sorry for people who have had their wedding plans disrupted so often. But if it was me I would get married regardless as soon as churches/venues allowed. Too many people are all about being a princess for the day which really isn't the point.

Agreed, some perspective and pragmatism is needed but unfortunately weddings quite often being out the very worst in people. How many bridezilla threads have their been on MN? The crazy pre wedding stuff and obligations on bridesmaids to attend a few different events and hen dos. The MIL who ruins the day. I would have thought that at least this has taken a lot of the stressful stuff away.

@BogRollBOGOF

YABU. Marriage ceremonies and celebrations involving family/ friends and the community are a part of human civilisation across most cultures and have been a part of humanity for millenia.

If your family and friends are dispersed, a wedding is one of the few occasions that pulls people together (including funerals, and those restrictions have often been inhumane).

It's wise to be married before starting a family, so yes for many it is holding life up.

Fortunately for me, I married years ago surrounded for the only time in my life by nearly all my friends and family. I can understand the hurt that couples feel having postponement after postponement, not being able to celebrate properly with their loved ones or having to slash down the guest lists and risk offending people to keep the numbers down.

Rearranging is getting harder. There's more competition for future dates and fewer venues and suppliers to provide. The ££,£££ that couples spend on larger weddings is generally spent in the British economy amongst a multitude of small businesses. Then the costs that guests pay going towards that too. The outfits boosting High St retail. I went to a minimal basic vows only service recently and while it was lovely, I wasn't remotely tempted to treat myself to a new dress for an event that lasted 15 minutes and pulled an old one out. No reception meant I didn't spend time in the area, no drinks, no hotels, just got in my car and drove off.

Well said@BogRollBOGOF

This is a horrible thread. MN mean spirited at its worseI just dont get MN hatred of weddings, if you dont like them dont go.

now they’re overwrought masterpieces with idiot things like favours
Do get over yourself. Im celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary this year. We had almond favours at our wedding, im half greek but had an english wedding Wedding favours were given out back in the 16th century in the uk, so hardly a new idea