Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People complaining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding

679 replies

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 15/06/2021 07:44

Am I the only person who’s getting a bit annoyed with all the people whining about ‘not’ being able to have a wedding?

They can get married and the limits of max 30 will go but guests have to socially distance, there will be limits on singing and you can’t have international guests.

Yes you can’t have 100 people hugging but people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

There was a woman complaining on the press conference that she’s being prevented from moving on with her life? Another was saying not being able to get married is giving her mental health issues. How? She can still get married, it may not be the Insta wedding she expected but the legal bit can still happen. Have the party bit later.

I feel a lot more sorrow for people trying to organise funerals who can’t have all the guests they want.

OP posts:
InnaBun · 15/06/2021 09:02

What's with all this "princess for a day". What about the Princes (in a heterosexual marriage). It's about the couple.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 09:03

In the scheme of crap happening because of this pandemic it just isn’t a big enough deal to get so upset

Sorry but who the fuck are you to declare that? Do people tell you what it's okay to be upset about and what isn't?

No. Didn't think so. Biscuit

WettyHainthrop · 15/06/2021 09:03

@SofiaMichelle

What a shitty thing to say. Just because you had a small wedding with no friends...

Oh the irony...

Pray tell, where is the irony?
Hankunamatata · 15/06/2021 09:03

It's the woe is me reporting on TV that's annoying me

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 09:03

@bruffin

OP and everyone else who's equally delightful...how do you feel about Jewish teenagers who are sad about missing out on their bar or bat mitzvahs? Yes and DD only gets a virtual graduation this year,
The news should cover these as much as weddings.
InnaBun · 15/06/2021 09:04

@Hankunamatata

It's the woe is me reporting on TV that's annoying me
Agreed, if there are circumstances like terminal illness then I understand a bit more.
LateAtTate · 15/06/2021 09:04

It’s not just the wedding itself it’s the planning! A lot of people have put money into things - and if you’re busy and have put a lot of time and effort into planning it’s a waste and extra stress. Especially when football matches etc have been allowed to go ahead
Also people criticising those who want a big wedding sound bitter and jealous. If the couple can afford it and want to why not?

SofiaMichelle · 15/06/2021 09:04

The vast majority agree with OP, according to the vote.

But there's much more noise from those who disagree.

It says it all...

tentosix · 15/06/2021 09:05

I do understand it as the loss of that once in a lifetime (hopefully) celebration, has been pared down so much and will never be the day you wanted.

I don't have much sympathy with bridezillas though in general who micromanage and stress over every detail, to the exclusion of actual joy.

LateAtTate · 15/06/2021 09:05

Also the news covers things likely to appeal to a certain demographic and chose whiny people on purpose 😂

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 09:06

@SofiaMichelle

The vast majority agree with OP, according to the vote.

But there's much more noise from those who disagree.

It says it all...

Says it all?

Or we are just sick of being insulted by miserable spiteful nasty posters who call us princesses?

I'm sure you wouldn't stay quiet if a load of hypocrites who had what you wanted told you to get over not having it and called you names.

Kokosrieksts · 15/06/2021 09:06

I voted YABU. Signing a legal document in front of a few witnesses and a real wedding with dancing and sharing the day with all your friends are two very different things. People have all rights to be upset.

bridgetreilly · 15/06/2021 09:06

people have always been allowed to get married throughout the pandemic.

This is actually not true. For the first 3-4 months no weddings were permitted at all.

Jennyfromtheculdesac · 15/06/2021 09:07

@RosieGuacamosie

YANBU - the pandemic has distinguished between those who want to be married vs those who want to be a special princess centre of attention for the day.
With a limit of 30 we wouldn’t have been able to invite all of our family members, let alone any friends. Some of our family would have been gutted not to be there. It’s not just about the bride.

And have a heart for the people who work in the wedding industry and will still be impacted by the ongoing restrictions, DJs and bands in particular. This is people’s livelihoods, it’s not just a party to them.

namechanged984630 · 15/06/2021 09:07

I assume the OP was allowed to get married normally pre-pandemic and therefore has no empathy 👍🏻

InnaBun · 15/06/2021 09:07

Getyourarseofffthequattro

Weddings are allowed now. Just no dancing etc.

TheKeatingFive · 15/06/2021 09:07

Lot of smug people on here who managed to get the weddings they wanted, low key or otherwise, sneering at those upset that can't.

I know right? The sheer nastiness of people is eye opening.

TooOldandTired · 15/06/2021 09:07

@Melitza

My dd ended up with a 15 people no reception wedding last year after rearranging thinking things would improve. Her sibling couldn't go due to his local restrictions. We stood outside afterwards, had a quick drink, no food. Photos with masks. No hugging to congratulate dd. We made the best of it for dd sake.

Perhaps I'm not grateful enough and should count my blessings.
The truth is I could easily sit and cry over what we didn't get.
I feel that I missed out. My dd is happy though, at least she tells me so.

You can be annoyed all you like but until it happens to you then you have no idea how it feels.

Sorry for you and your DD. I am amazed at the lack of sympathy on here. You can have empathy for more than one set of people. I feel sorry for people who can't have proper funerals. I feel sorry for people (including myself) who haven't seen family in a year and half. I feel sorry for people who had babies and can't see as much of their family and friends, for kids and teenagers who are losing out on so much, for people in their 20's stuck at home and trying to work in a tiny bedroom. I can also feel sorry for people who have had their wedding plans disrupted and it's not as easy as just pop down the registry office and have a party later, lots of people have paid for venues and can get their money back. And so what if they want a big wedding and to be a princess for the day, that doesn't make you better than them because you have different priorities. I think what the pandemic has shown is how well the SS would have thrived in the UK (with the number of people reporting neighbours to the police) and how lacking in empathy the country is.
bridgetreilly · 15/06/2021 09:07

Which means that quite a lot of the people currently upset did actually have to postpone their wedding, and chose to delay it for a year in the hope they would be able to have the day as they originally planned it. And now they find they can't, just a few weeks before it's due to happen. I think they're allowed to be disappointed.

Workyticket · 15/06/2021 09:08

I really hope nobody wasted a space at a 30 person wedding on some of you lot. Fuck me!

Registrars offices were SHUT for months - even if our very modest venue had been open we couldn't have got an appointment for our banns to be re-read

The registrars weren't doing ceremonies so even though Boris said you could get married - we absolutely couldn't!

This thread is vile - i hope all of you bitching about people wanting to celebrate turn down future wedding invitations

I wouldn't want you at mine

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 15/06/2021 09:08

@InnaBun

Getyourarseofffthequattro

Weddings are allowed now. Just no dancing etc.

Yeah, so not the wedding people have planned. That is quite literally the point people are trying to make.
CornishGem1975 · 15/06/2021 09:09

I want a 'party' for my wedding. So shoot me.

Throughout the pandemic we've had milestone birthdays in lockdown, our kids have left schools without any celebration, we have family members and friends who have also had key events in their lives that we've missed. All of that deserves celebrating and I don't care who thinks I am selfish and spoiled for wanting it.

For me, a wedding isn't just about 'two people', especially when there are children involved. It's about family. It should also be a fun and joyous occasion. No singing, no readings, no speeches (unless short and outside) no dancing, socially distancing and wearing face masks, no mingling with guests...sorry, but that doesn't add up to a nice relaxed event to me, regardless of numbers!

Mrgrinch · 15/06/2021 09:10

The UK is a multicultural society. Have you considered that this affects people differently? We're gypsies and it's hard enough to plan a wedding already without all the rejection due to racism.

Add in big families and restrictions and it's just impossible.

mam0918 · 15/06/2021 09:10

People have NOT always 'been allowed to get married during the pandemic'

What an ignorant comment that shows you DONT understand, it was stopped completely through all the full lockdowns so for the majority of the last year you couldnt get married in any way at all.

Only exception was if bride or groom where predicted to die within the next few days where a special licence could be granted (which doesnt include 'terminal illness' only deathbed marraiges) for the legal part only.

Also rule of 30 doesnt apply to registries where its rule of distancing, most can only fit 10 people max. which usually includes bride, groom and registrar.

MilduraS · 15/06/2021 09:10

For some people, saying their vows surrounded by family and friends is a massive part of the wedding. It wasn't for me but I understand people who do feel that way.

I got married overseas with just my DH and have had complete strangers tell me I was selfish to do that to our families. Now people who want to do the opposite are being told they don't need a big wedding with all their family and friends. It's impossible to win.