Colleague altering his parts

[changingnameforthis1234]

I have a fairly new work colleague. It's a small office and we are allowed a maximum of two at a time in there due to Covid and also wear masks as we can't really keep 2 metres apart. There are often three on duty for an hour in the middle of the day and then one of us takes a break outside.
My AIBU is that every single time I'm alone with this male colleague which isn't that often, he spreads his legs and sort of alters his bits. It's hard not to be aware and im finding it uncomfortable.
The organisation is very tough on any sort of behaviour that could cause offence. Problem is I really really don't know if this is just a habit he has or if he does it in front of any male colleague.
If I mention it to another colleague and ask it's very likely they would report it to the manager.
I'm really not sure if this is being done to intimidate, is habit, or he's just a skank. He's a male in his 40's. I'm older and female. He seems ok in other ways , certainly not objectionable in any other way
So AIBU to just continue to ignore?
Btw I've name changed and do promise I'm not trolling

I do not want to know anything about my colleagues' underwear or penises, thank you very much

That In a nut shell
These are my work colleagues, they're not lovers.
It's as cringy as if your father started altering his bits while facing you

Sounds like my teen sons atm they say they are sweating their balls off from the heat. Hope they don't rearrange them in public though.

Op he may have piles?

What you are now clarifying is very different from I'd imagined from your initial post. Without seeing it's hard to know but it sounds more equivalent to hitching up a bra strap which I would do in public than sticking a hand into my bra to move a boob which I wouldn't.

And he DEFINITELY isn't scratching his arse?

He's not using his hands?! He's just shifting about in the chair? You can't complain about this...it's going to make you look unhinged. Plenty of people shift about in chairs to get comfy when they sit. He may have a bad back!

Ok, he sort of spreads his legs with his hands resting at the top of his thighs to help part his legs so his legs are wide apart ( I mean as far apart as is medically possible)
His hands remain in this position while he moves from side to side on his seat.
So I'm unhinged ?
I don't want to see someone rearranging their tackle while sitting directly
opposite me in close quarters. But maybe I need to be more cool

@changingnameforthis1234

Is he actually putting his hand down his trousers? Then not even washing his hands? Touching the phone and door handles and kettle? Sorry thought I'd made it clear that, No, he's not putting his hand down his trousers. I think that would be much more simple to deal with. He goes to sit down, stretches his legs wide out then sort of adjusts himself on his chair, he doesn't even use his hands much, sort of uses the chair to move his bits around. It's very obvious and for the poster who suggested not to look, that wouldn't be possible. Our legs are about 2ft apart, the office is tiny and he turns to face me to chat while he's doing the adjustments

Sorry but that's just non complainable. Unles he is facing you while he is using his hands imho. You can't compain about someone making themselves comfortable on a seat like that

Oh my gosh.

Sorry but that's just non complainable. Unles he is facing you while he is using his hands imho.
I'd like to think that if my knickers rode up into my vulva or rode up my bum I'd leave the office to adjust myself
I don't know why this man is doing what he's doing

He is sliding on a chair, he isn't by your own admission putting his hands in or on.
For all you know he has piles or any other medical conditions affecting that region. Not perfect, but absolutely not what you basically insinuated.

I am honestly now quite suspicious of your thread. You knew if you describe this straight away, everyone will say (wellost because for some even man breathing is wrong) that he isn't really doing anything wrong. No. You let people think all this time he is putting hands by into his trousers🙄

I didn't insulate anything
His behaviour is inappropriate. It doesn't matter if he's got piles or sweaty balls or his pants are too tight or he's pleasuring himself. It's inappropriate.
I don't like it and I didn't know what to do. I've got no one at work that I could ask if they'd noticed or was he just doing this in front of me.
Sorry that the story isn't more timtilatimg. It's probably nothing and I've totally over reacted.
I'll leave it now

Um you have no idea if it has anything to do with his bits. He's shuffling in his seat. He might just be getting comfortable on his ass. Why is that inappropriate?

Maybe his anal glands need expressing?

Honestly op, I think If one of my employees came in and accused another colleague of doing a shimmy which she suspected the purpose of which was to adjust his genitals but in no way did he touch the area either under or over his clothes . I think id be very suspicious of you!
I'm sorry this makes your uncomfortable op but I'm not sure you'll achieve anything by complaining and damage your reputation at work.

So he’s basically just wiggling about in his chair?? If so you can’t complain about this, I imagined he was fiddling about and moving his knob around with his hands.

I imagined he was fiddling about and moving his knob around with his hands. That's because what the OP implied, even the title of the thread implied it!

If someone reported their colleague for essentially shuffling in a chair and implied what the OP implied I'd think the OP was quite creepy!

I really feel for the Op as what he is doing isn't pleasant for her and especially in such close proximity. Just because he's not touching himself with his hands doesn't mean he's not adjusting his genitals, but in this case it sounds like he's using the chair and he's very close to the Op (with only the 2 of them in the room at the time). That's pretty gross, intimidating and out of order!

Op, it's inappropriate and if you don't feel you can call him out on it the next time he does it, then speak to your line manager.

@John69

Maybe he's just a super sweaty guy? Let him have a fiddle with his property. Trust me it gets very uncomfortable down there in heat.

He can leave the office to adjust himself in an appropriate place. The toilet. Not in front of the OP. Why is it always that when men behave inappropriately, women have to turn a blind eye at the expense of their own comfort? As pp have pointed out, women might have issues too eg trush, pads etc but somehow we always manage to not bother others with these issues. No wonder women doubt themselves in cases of sexual harassment at work if these kind of issues are so easy dismissed to avoid making the poor men uncomfortable

I’ve seen this happen in the workplace before. I was shocked the first time I came across it. IME men don’t realise they’re doing it at all. Doesn’t mean to say that is true with your colleague though.

I wouldn’t say anything because I wouldn’t want them thinking I was looking at them down there!

@Tanith

You are entirely justified in stopping this firmly and immediately. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to him, then report it or ask that you’re not left alone with him and why.

Would he do this in front of a customer or a manager? I’m sure he wouldn’t.

Agreed. I hardly think he could have reached 40 without having some self awareness. At best, he's being disrespectful to you.

As pp have pointed out, women might have issues too eg trush, pads etc but somehow we always manage to not bother others with these issues.

Yeah. Most of slides on a chair a bot, moves a leg etc to try and get comfy position. Also, i know we all think no one can see, but yes, others sometimes can see the weird move, but don't kniw what it is (men).

Not saying his behaviour is perfect but i can see why he doesn't think leg soread and a chair shuffle is aking to sexual harassment

I think it is complainable as it's targeted behaviour that is directed at OP only and only when there are no witnesses.

From your description, he's basically jiggling his junk at you, isn't he?

I'd phrase the complaint as;

When potential witnesses leave the office, Colleague X often turns his chair to face me, spreads his legs as widely as possible and wriggles energetically, as if drawing attention to his genital area. While doing this he engages me in work conversations, thus making it awkward for me either to look at him or to turn away. The talking makes it impossible to ignore the behaviour."

He's wiggling his junk at you, isn't he? Vile behaviour, probably designed to intimidate and disconcert you.

I wonder if he's a flasher in other situations?