How did you change since having a child? (If you have)

[Ifboriswasnoris]

I was thinking recently how I’m tougher/harder since having my Dd, 3. I used to be more self conscious, now I can easily talk to anyone. I look worse, and definitely used to be more confident about my appearance, but it’s almost like some confidence came from somewhere and I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore, anyone else feel like this?
I also worry less about everyone else, I used to worry to the point of upset about my parents etc, now I don’t that much.,which makes me feel awful. It’s like I literally don’t have space for anything to worry about, unless it involves Dd.
I’m softer deep deep down, but mainly just in regards to her.
Motherhood is weird!
How did/has it changed you, if at all?
And why am I so tough now 🤷🏻‍♀️

I lost my patience, everything needs to be quick as I have zero time to waste.

I become more caring to anyone younger, more protective of them as they remind me of how I hope my DCs will be treated.

I become quicker to judge people without kids. I am not proud of this though so trying to change my mindset.

@nahno123 Yes to the impatience in a way too, well I’m more stressy.

Judge those without kids, how?

I become quicker to judge people without kids

What exactly do you judge them for?

I become quicker to judge people without kids

Hmmm, as someone who has been trying to have a child for 4 years with no luck despite medical intervention, I am also wondering how you judge me and those like me?

I lost my career ambition.

I stopped caring about work

I became more stressed too. The lack of control I have in many situations, especially when trying to get out of the house on time, is very stressful. I relaxed when I decided to accept it.
I definitely look worse, which is also an age thing.
I’m less fussy about food and drink. I eat and drink quickly now and I tolerate cold food, tea and coffee quite well.

@Badoukas Yes, same here too, although I feel it creeping back in some days..did yours return?

I don’t have kids but also wondering how and why you judge people without? (Clicked on this thread purely out of interest)

@NcagainNC Same

I came a lot more patient. I have all the patience in the world for my DS.

I don't tolerate anyone's BS anymore.

I put my career on the back burner and I'd do it 1000x over for him.

I was never selfish but people always knew they could rely on me. Which they still can but there is one 'friend' in particular who looking back as always treated me like absolute dirt. I could start a whole thread on her! Once I had DS it was almost like wtf are you doing. So I'm NC with her. As a mother I sat and thought I really wouldn't want my DS to have a friend like her.

@Elephant75

I don't have kids either. You sound horrible OP.

How does she sound horrible?

@Elephant75 Wait..what? Why?

I'm similar OP, I have more confidence to stand up for myself and advocate for myself. I used to shy away from awkward or difficult situations but now I don't really care. Nothing seems as hard as giving birth and being with a baby 24/7! The flip side to that is that I find myself being very blasé about anything that doesn't involve my daughter. Work especially, I feel very disconnected when I used to care too much.

I'm also fiercely protective of my spare time. Definitely grumpier and easier to anger. I have also aged approx 83 years.

@PixieDust28 I tolerate a lot less from people too, I honestly just don’t care as much. Whereas I used to worry about what people thought of me and need them in my life much more..strange, isn’t it

Stopped any desire to have sex.

@Elephant75

I don't have kids either. You sound horrible OP.

It wasn't OP who said she judges childless people. Read properly if you're going to post bitchy shit.

@LikeTheOceansWeRise Exactly the same regarding work..I can’t believe I spent so many years worrying about work and the people there, none of it means anything now.
I am slightly worried I won’t get back to feeling any passion for work at all though 😬I don’t want to have to go to work and be hating every moment, whereas before it had meaning for me.

@00100001 Also with you on that one

[quote Ifboriswasnoris]@PixieDust28 I tolerate a lot less from people too, I honestly just don’t care as much. Whereas I used to worry about what people thought of me and need them in my life much more..strange, isn’t it[/quote]
Exactly! My mindset is if you don't like me, go. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

@nahno123 in what way do you judge those without children?

@LindaEllen Thanks 😊

No, I never said that, I was responding to a previous poster, and don’t understand the judgement 🤷🏻‍♀️
I feel envy 🤣

I found buckets full of patience when I always thought I'd be stricter 🙊 I also became kinder and learned how to be with other young children, something I'd always felt awkward about before.

I also reprioritised and now I say if something doesn't work for us (eg DM wanting a big family lunch at a fancy restaurant the first weekend out of lockdown..... with a 2yo picky eater who'd be late for a nap - nope - we had a brilliant family picnic instead). Before we always went along with what everyone else wanted whether it suited us or not. So I guess I got firmer/more assertive about what my family need which isn't a bad thing either.

I think more about my life and decisions. I make them with the mindframe of 'is this what DM would have wanted for me?' now I understand what it is to have someone pour all their love and care into you - it helps me do better 🙌

I'm also knackered all. the. time 🤣

Less attractive
no libido
phobia of heights escalated
health anxiety escalated
self-confidence eroded by never feeling like I'm handling difficult children well
more frightened of everything
Less kind, more protective of me and mine.

Just an all around worse person!