How did you change since having a child? (If you have)

[Ifboriswasnoris]

I was thinking recently how I’m tougher/harder since having my Dd, 3. I used to be more self conscious, now I can easily talk to anyone. I look worse, and definitely used to be more confident about my appearance, but it’s almost like some confidence came from somewhere and I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore, anyone else feel like this?
I also worry less about everyone else, I used to worry to the point of upset about my parents etc, now I don’t that much.,which makes me feel awful. It’s like I literally don’t have space for anything to worry about, unless it involves Dd.
I’m softer deep deep down, but mainly just in regards to her.
Motherhood is weird!
How did/has it changed you, if at all?
And why am I so tough now 🤷🏻‍♀️

I became way more assertive.

@Elephant75 think you owe the OP an apology...

Absolutely no interest in work

More organised. Less interested in work also, which is why I had my second 18 months after my first. They're all teenagers now. Now I'm more interested in work.

I dont care if a PP judges the childfree. I judge parents all the time, usually spectacularly self absorbed and not worth hanging round with until the kid/s get into their teens.

@CorpusCallosum Ahh that’s lovely 🥰

@SquirrelFan Oh no 😔yes, I can relate to some of that, depending on my mood/day. I’m more confident in a ‘Don’t give a crap/assertive way’ but not in that free, good looking, energetic younger self way.
I have massive anxiety about Dd and the future and mine and my dps health, that I never really had before, I work really hard to try to shove it right down.

@ChocolateCakeYum Yes, assertive is the word, wonder what makes that happen and why 🤷🏻‍♀️

Interesting so many saying zero interest in work. Most of my friends retained their interest, so I’ve always felt a bit odd in that respect.

@Sausageroll67 Can the thread stay about what I asked, I’m really interested in it,
Not sure why a pp said it

Fewer panic attacks
More stressed / busy
More organised

I've developed more hobbies and interests too, but they're not child related and that might have happened naturally with age.

I'm not sure how I changed since kids really, in a way I 'planned' some of it, in terms of winding down going out and stuff in the year or so before we planned on starting a family.

I have been a bit better at standing up for myself but TBH I think that's more middle age than having kids.

@ConstantlySeekingHappiness

I become quicker to judge people without kids

What exactly do you judge them for?

Why ?

I have accepted chaos (I have 3 dcs)

I have accepted that my drink and food will sometimes be cold, I have to wear my hair up because it gets in the way even though I look rough with it up, etc etc. All that adds up to giving less of a shit about things I think!

[quote Ifboriswasnoris]@Sausageroll67 Can the thread stay about what I asked, I’m really interested in it,
Not sure why a pp said it[/quote]
No worries, just felt the need to respond to that attack with one myself.

even though I do feel that way

@Sausageroll67 It’s ok, I get it!

I've gone from mega career focused to a bit ambivalent. Like, I'll go to the next level but not fussed about becoming a director.

I'm softer and more caring my far.

I do sometimes look at people without kids and think "what do you do all day??!" m

I became quicker to judge people without kids

Imagine coming on here, a site where lots of women battling with infertility come to for support, and actually admitting you judge women for being childless.

Have a fucking word with yourself.

@optimistic40 Great about the fewer panic attacks 💜interesting as more stressed though, which I am too..but a different kind of stress

Correction - reread the post and she said she judges people more who are childless, rather than judging for being childless. Still really fucking bad though.

I do sometimes look at people without kids and think "what do you do all day??!"

Did you know that women without children can be just as busy as women with children? It’s not that hard to imagine.

Yes, I imagine that many women who don't have kids still have busy lives! My friends without children have jobs, families, friends. Yeah, I've personally been busier since having kids - but I'm also 40 now instead of in my twenties... and a single working parent.

One close child-free friend said she sees herself as just as busy as I am, but more involved in things that she wants to be doing whereas mine is more dull stuff Won't be the case for everyone, obviously!

[quote Ifboriswasnoris]@optimistic40 Great about the fewer panic attacks 💜interesting as more stressed though, which I am too..but a different kind of stress[/quote]
Yes, it's odd. Maybe having the extra stuff to do makes me appreciate my spare time more and not get so panicked.

Or maybe it was hormonal?

In became a worrier once I had children. Even when there is nothing to worry about I still worry. 18 years later I realise I will never be worry-free again.

@SquirrelFan

Less attractive no libido phobia of heights escalated health anxiety escalated self-confidence eroded by never feeling like I'm handling difficult children well more frightened of everything Less kind, more protective of me and mine.

Just an all around worse person!

This is also me