Should partner top up lost tax credits?

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To keep it brief, my partner of three years moved in to look after me after a major op. I've got one teen ds.
I've stopped my wtc, which was approximately £600 a month.
Finances are separate. He was earning £45,000 when he moved in. Now has another job earning £25,000.
I'm se, earn about £12,000.
I pay the household bills, approximately £350.He buys the food, about the same amount. (House owned by me outright).
Should he be reimbursing me my lost wtc? Some of it? All of it? Thoughts please?
I'm feeling a bit hard done by tbh but don't want to fleece him. I sometimes think why should I be worse off because he moved in? Or am I being a money grabber?

@Summersnake

Omg You own a house outright And get £600 tax credits … Wtf That’s rediculous

The whole tax credits system was ridiculous You can own a house outright and get a lot of tax credits. As a single parent you could work just 16 hours a week and get topped up right up until your kids leave education at 18 !! You could have as much in savings as you want and only needed to declare anything over £300 interest per year. No wonder they are in the process of being replaced.

Just tell him it's time for him to move out again.......

As a single parent you could work just 16 hours a week and get topped up right up until your kids leave education at 18 !!

Similarly, a two parent family could work one full time job between them and also get topped up. They get called ‘working families’. Single parents are called ‘scroungers’

@Getawaywithit

As a single parent you could work just 16 hours a week and get topped up right up until your kids leave education at 18 !!

Similarly, a two parent family could work one full time job between them and also get topped up. They get called ‘working families’. Single parents are called ‘scroungers’

Yes true - that is very wrong too.

@Danni91

This has to be the most ridiculous question I've read on AIBU. Since you can't actually be so silly you must be being nasty. OP gets £1000 a month and pays £350 on bills. She has a teenage son. You're suggesting she's not going to miss £600 a month and she's just mentioning it to be petty. Come on now.

Op even if you did kick him out you would not be able to re-claim tax credits it would be Universal credit and with no housing costs you would only get around £176 a month in Universal credit.
Just letting you know this as I wouldn't want you to think that you'd be able to get the same amount again if he moves out.

@Getawaywithit

As a single parent you could work just 16 hours a week and get topped up right up until your kids leave education at 18 !!

Similarly, a two parent family could work one full time job between them and also get topped up. They get called ‘working families’. Single parents are called ‘scroungers’

That's not true any more either. On the old style WTC you could do this but on UC you are expected to work 30 hours a week minimum once your child turns 12.

[quote SleepyPartyTime]@Danni91

This has to be the most ridiculous question I've read on AIBU. Since you can't actually be so silly you must be being nasty. OP gets £1000 a month and pays £350 on bills. She has a teenage son. You're suggesting she's not going to miss £600 a month and she's just mentioning it to be petty. Come on now.[/quote]
I didnt say she wouldn't miss it, i asked if she needed it.

She had an extra £600 a month, she owns her house her bills are £350, he moved in and took over the £350 shopping - shes now £250 down from before he moved in.

Shes still has £600+ spare monthly, plus his spare money too which im assuming is jointly spent on going out.

I think thats not an awful position to be in, so i don't understand the reasoning for him giving her £600 a month on top of that to replace what she feels is lost.

Maybe she will come back and say shes got a mammoth debt or financed cars or elderly parents to pay for but im guessing that she wont...

Don't see why you took offence to anything I said tbh

For couples on Uc though there are very little requirements for both parents to be working. As long as the main earners earns over around £600 ( not sure of the exact amount but it is very little), the other parent gets put in the light touch group and has virtually no work seeking requirements. So lone parents need to be seeking work looking to aim for 30 x nmw, yet a couple can have one parent meeting that requirement and get heftily topped up with no requirements for the other parent to be looking for work. It is still a crazy system.

Of course he shouldn’t reimburse you for your lost tax credits. You either live together as a couple, or you don’t.

I’d say ask him to move out as you don’t really want him there.

I think the bigger issues is whether you want him living with you permanently, to be honest. If you actually did, rather than it just having happened, then I think you would feel better about the financial issues. Whereas it seems to me that circumstances have led to this situation and actually you are in effect £250 a month worse off.

If you have a teenager, something else to throw into the mix is that presumable the child element (don’t know exactly how this works over time) may come to an end relatively soon, whereas the relationship will continue. So if you want your partner to keep living with you, see my first point, then it makes sense to have a conversation about your disparate finances and decide how to pool them. The only question I would have is whether he would then have any entitlement to your house, probably you want to make sure that is just yours.

A minefield. But yes, in the cold light of day, him moving in has cost you £250 a month, which presumably means in practice less money for your child?

That's not true any more either. On the old style WTC you could do this but on UC you are expected to work 30 hours a week minimum once your child turns 12

Fully aware. But like I say, one thing to be a single parent, quite another to be a ‘working family’.

OP do you have a will? If you live with your partner for more than 2 years he could make a claim on your estate (including your house) and you4 DC would lose out.

No he doesn't owe you your benefits back. It was a mutual decision and you knew this would happen.

I was a renter working around the kids and getting 720 roughly in WTC a month this money although I was grateful for it felt like a weight on my shoulders and I wanted to be self sufficient , when my partner moved in it went and we went all 50 /50 with the Bill's however i had lost a large amount of my income so i found a better paid job . I always wanted to be self sufficient now i am , i didn't see my partner as a cash cow either mind you , it's far better to try and have your own cash op especially when you suddenly lose the WTC when then kids come of age , your in a good position as a home anyway , just enjoy your relationship you both are contributing equally judging by your breakdown of who pays what how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot here '?

I love they people who know they ABU never enable voting 😆

YABU, you knew you would stop them and still made that decision. He’s just been forced to take a 20K pay cut. You want more money? Get a better paid job 🤷‍♀️

Wtaf? My dp tried this with me when I first moved in. I told him absolutely not and it made me re think being with him. He was actually slightly better off with me paying half bills council tax but was fixated on the tax credits.

And your dp moved in to do you a favour!! Stop bring so grabby, apologise and hope he forgets you asked

If you want to split tell him. If not talk about what is fair