Should partner top up lost tax credits?

[greenorangeblue]

To keep it brief, my partner of three years moved in to look after me after a major op. I've got one teen ds.
I've stopped my wtc, which was approximately £600 a month.
Finances are separate. He was earning £45,000 when he moved in. Now has another job earning £25,000.
I'm se, earn about £12,000.
I pay the household bills, approximately £350.He buys the food, about the same amount. (House owned by me outright).
Should he be reimbursing me my lost wtc? Some of it? All of it? Thoughts please?
I'm feeling a bit hard done by tbh but don't want to fleece him. I sometimes think why should I be worse off because he moved in? Or am I being a money grabber?

Also ThisIsStartingToBoreMe you seem to be quite chuffed with yourself for paying most of your income into a pension so you could scrounge as much as possible from the government. Don't be proud. Seriously, that's just cringy as fuck

You're fully recovered now and you should be on an equal footing now, with household chores and finances.
Given that he is earning twice what you earn and that your income has gone down considerably due to the loss of benefit, I think it's very reasonable to have a discussion with him about having a more equal financial arrangement as it doesn't seem fair that he has a lot of disposable income and you have very little as a result of him living with you.
It's about having a fair and equitable relationship. I'm not suggesting that you both end up with the same disposable income, just something a lot fairer. Bear in mind also the need for ongoing repairs and maintenance to your house, as it doesn't seem that tthese have been considered
I would rethink living together if he wanted to maintain the current financial status quo.

There is nothing to be proud about in your circumstances. You make a living from handouts rather than working for it. Disgusting. Reminds me of the girls in school who couldn't wait to finish school so they could start having babies and getting benefits

ODFOD. Erm....she said nothing about her work status. I work full and have a disabled child in the mix as well as being a single parent. I receive a considerable sum each month in tax credits. I am not disgusting - I work incredibly hard. And I didn't have babies to get benefits. I had babies in marriage. Interesting, however, that you have nothing at all to say to the man who upped and left his disabled child, have you?

@Summersnightdream

Also ThisIsStartingToBoreMe you seem to be quite chuffed with yourself for paying most of your income into a pension so you could scrounge as much as possible from the government. Don't be proud. Seriously, that's just cringy as fuck

It's to fund care in my old age @Summersnightdream.

How will you fund yours? or will the government be paying for it

For those moaning about benefits....you are welcome to take minimum wage jobs so that you too can live "the high life" on benefits.

What, you don't want to?

Didn't think so.

The benefits system supports me and my family at the moment .....disabled child and SE husband whose work was severely affected by the pandemic. Happy to swap places with you perfect folk claiming nothing because YOU DONT NEED TO. Come next live a life reliant on benefits because it's a breeze....honest

I've been a higher rate tax payer in the past and oddly enough the last thing on my mind was that a minimal proportion of it went to support families on low and minimum wage jobs. Funny old life innit.

@Getawaywithit

There is nothing to be proud about in your circumstances. You make a living from handouts rather than working for it. Disgusting. Reminds me of the girls in school who couldn't wait to finish school so they could start having babies and getting benefits

ODFOD. Erm....she said nothing about her work status. I work full and have a disabled child in the mix as well as being a single parent. I receive a considerable sum each month in tax credits. I am not disgusting - I work incredibly hard. And I didn't have babies to get benefits. I had babies in marriage. Interesting, however, that you have nothing at all to say to the man who upped and left his disabled child, have you?

She has quite literally said she put the majority of her income into a pension so she could claim as many benefits as possible. If that's not working the system I don't know what is?

Also, I think you're projecting a bit here. I have no issue with people claiming benefits who actually need it. I take issue with people like the OP and whatever the other scrounger is called who play the system. Playing the system is nothing to be proud of, it is immoral and gives other benefit claimants a bad name

@Crappyfridays7

I don’t even get 600 CFC/wtc for 3 kids & I earn a little bit more than you, however I don’t live in my own house. I think you’ve got it pretty good op. Yes you are down £600 for one child? But you’ve gained help and support and he does pay for stuff like food. I think going forward you need a better split of bills according to your earnings.

You don’t move someone in to pay for your child though or cover what you lose. So you need to ask him to move out or suck it up and re jig your bills

Are you getting housing benefit towards your rent as well?

If not, it might be worth looking into what you'd get under UC. Unfortunately, you can't start a claim for HB now, so it would have to be UC.

Child benefit, maintainance? He changed job because?
If you don't want him there say so. If it's going ok have a frank talk about who pays what.
Do you include child care and expenses, clothing, beer, petrol, repairs, holidays...
Your house is yours unless you give him a share or get married, likewise any savings either of you had before. Think about wills.

It was your choice to take the hit to your tax credits- that's your business. £600 is a lot of money and of course he shouldn't pay it.

Cannot believe this was not discussed before he moved in.

Playing the system is nothing to be proud of, it is immoral

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland It's common sense to try and get all you're entitled to to help your family.

Most people get some tax credits/that element of UC towards their children, even if they're earning. I know a family where both parents are earning and they still are entitled to them.

@Summersnightdream, putting money into her pension will remove the need to claim benefits in n later life. An owned house will cost less than rented accommodation and there's money for care, or to help her child be independent. Her plan will cost the tax payers less. Plus there's the advantage to society of a family being well supported and able to do better by their children.

Unstable rented accommodation isn't good for people or society. We pick up the bill somewhere along the line.

People need to get rid of their envy and reason it out.

OP, you seemed to have been rushed into living together and that is never good. This should have been worked out beforehand. It depends on were you see your life going with him because once your child is 18, benefits stop. So that's when it's financially worthwhile sharing and you can work more hours.

If there is no mortgage to pay he should split all bills with you, you could, I suppose ask him to pay some rent, but he certainly shouldn’t cover any lost wtc as you still have two incomes coming in

If the money means more to you tell him to move out

Ideally it would have been discussed before he moved in. He earns twice as much so should contribute more than you do. I’m not sure he should send you some money to make up for the lost TC but I do think he should pay some of the bills.

If you are earning £12k in the se of England, surely you can find a job with better pay?

@Summersnightdream

You could work more? To be honest, 'im earning 12k S/E' sounds a lot like 'i'm self employed and ensuring I stay under the personal allowance so I don't pay tax'

This

@Snoozer11

It's outrageous that people who work can receive £600 per month from the state.

It's outrageous that so many jobs are so badly paid that people who work don't earn enough to live and support their families on without help from the state.

You don't sound like you really want him living with you. From the sound of it he was more sofa surfing previously so I do wonder just who this current situation suits more. Ask yourself just how much you appreciate him being there and then ask him to leave.

Thing is, she doesn't need a carer anymore.
He pays £250 towards food for him as well as the OP.

Doesn't sound like they discussed him staying, he just has. Am I right in thinking he earns well? I think he's got a good deal and the OP isn't actually benefitting that much from it.

Do you want him there @greenorangeblue?

Is your teen DS thinking of going to university? If he is o would consider the impact having your partner living with you will have on his student finance.

You’re fully recovered and your child is a teen so doesn’t require childcare. You could always do more hours or get a better paid job.

I think of the move is permanent you just need an honest and fair conversation re cost of living and sharing it fairly. It is not about you losing benefits, you need to write down all your shared expenses and divide by 2 and make sure you are paying half each. You are lucky there is no mortgage to complicate the situation as it really is just living expenses. Are you maybe able to up your earnings now he is around by working some evenings or weekends?

Tbh you really need to look at increasing your income...... Its never a good idea to be too reliant on tax credits. Or other people for that matter.

If you’re paying equal amounts, but you are the only one owning the house, then definitely not.

And ditto, £600 a month in benefits for a home owner. What am I doing wrong!

He gets £1700 a month net. You get £1000 a month plus child benefits. Your children aren't his responsibility.

You want him to reverse that so you have £1600 a month and he has £1100 a month. Do you want him to pay household bills as well?

What people generally do when they move in together is discuss and agree finances before it happens. If they don't agree things then the move doesn't happen. You need to speak to him and tell him what you want. If I were him I'd run a mile because you come across as a bit of a CF.