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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should partner top up lost tax credits?

169 replies

greenorangeblue · 11/06/2021 08:54

To keep it brief, my partner of three years moved in to look after me after a major op. I've got one teen ds.
I've stopped my wtc, which was approximately £600 a month.
Finances are separate. He was earning £45,000 when he moved in. Now has another job earning £25,000.
I'm se, earn about £12,000.
I pay the household bills, approximately £350.He buys the food, about the same amount. (House owned by me outright).
Should he be reimbursing me my lost wtc? Some of it? All of it? Thoughts please?
I'm feeling a bit hard done by tbh but don't want to fleece him. I sometimes think why should I be worse off because he moved in? Or am I being a money grabber?

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 11/06/2021 10:27

This is the exact reason I never moved a man in with me when I was a single parent with 3 kids. I would have lost £900 a month and given him the financial power.

Sad that the government are able to pay more than a family unit.

No your fault, and I would absolutely do the same, it’s there to be claimed, it’s perfectly legal.

Pity two working adults have less cash than one working adult in the same position.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/06/2021 10:27

OP you're getting a bit of a bashing on this thread and i'm sure some of it is down to pure jealousy .

As I said earlier, this is the exact reason i never moved a man in with me. I just dated. Why would you put yourself in a position where you were worse off. I have never understood the mumsnetters obsession about having to live with a man.

Nobody loves you more than a man who needs somewhere to live. Also, why has he changed jobs from one paying £45k to one that pays £25k? Thats really really odd.

RikkiTikkiTavvi · 11/06/2021 10:27
Biscuit
HeckyPeck · 11/06/2021 10:27

If you actually want him to live with you, this is how me DH and I work out costs. He has one child.

Work out each person's % of income. For you it would be 32.4% and DP 67.6%

Then add together joint bills. For you £700

Each pays proportionately to their income so you £226.80 and DP £473.20.

I know you have a child and he doesn't, but that's not something I take into account personally even though DH and DSD both eat more than me 😁 That being said I also add in food for my pets I had before DH so it probably balances out.

From a rough calculation and not taking pensions into account that would leave you with £748.20 and DP with £1246.95 after joint bills.

TableFlowerss · 11/06/2021 10:28

@Snoozer11

It's outrageous that people who work can receive £600 per month from the state.
Hmm well maybe if they made the minimum wage higher folk wouldn’t need top ups!
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/06/2021 10:30

@Summersnightdream

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe - you say that with a smiley emoji like you're proud? There is nothing to be proud about in your circumstances. You make a living from handouts rather than working for it. Disgusting. Reminds me of the girls in school who couldn't wait to finish school so they could start having babies and getting benefits.
I worked as well @Summersnightdream. In fact, I was one of the few single parents at my workplace who worked full time instead of only 16 hours a week because my tax credits would have been reduced. So what I did instead was work full time, pay the difference into my pension to leave me with 16 hours worth of pay, then still get the same amount of tax credits. My lazy collegues only worked 16 hours and wouldnt ever pick up an extra shift if someone called in sick.

It paid off because I moved up the ladder and got promoted and earned more money so that when all the child related money stopped when my kids were 18, I was in a position to support myself and have ever since, without government/child support handouts.

DrCoconut · 11/06/2021 10:31

People who are commenting about being entitled to WTC while owning a house? How would selling the house, burning through the money on rent and then needing housing benefit in older age help?

June2021 · 11/06/2021 10:31

@Cocomarine

And how much are you paying him for personal care? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sounds like you didn’t think it through at all.

Indeed.

OP also has a home owned outright. He gave up a better paid job to care you you and now earns less and you are whinging about losing tax credits! You don't need benefits anymore now your joint income is better.

Why are you together?

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 11/06/2021 10:32

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

And for those saying “wtf that’s ridiculous” about home earners being entitled to tax credits - we cost less that those who are renting, and claiming the housing benefit portion of wtc

I’ll try again:

And for those saying “wtf that’s ridiculous” about home owners being entitled to tax credits - we cost less than those who are renting, and claiming the housing benefit portion of wtc

What a silly comment You might cost less in that sense but you are hoarding vast amounts of money in the equity your houses are accruing vastly in excess of the inflation rate. Owning a property, especially outright (which indicates that either you bought many years ago when property was very cheap or that you inherited money that you didn't earn) is an incredible asset and makes you part of the class that most benefit claimants will never enter. By all means claim any benefit you're entitled to but don't claim you are doing the government a favour by not claiming housing benefit towards rent!
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 11/06/2021 10:33

@Summersnightdream

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe - you say that with a smiley emoji like you're proud? There is nothing to be proud about in your circumstances. You make a living from handouts rather than working for it. Disgusting. Reminds me of the girls in school who couldn't wait to finish school so they could start having babies and getting benefits.
Child maintenance isn't a 'handout'
grapewine · 11/06/2021 10:33

You don't want him there so should ask him to leave. You can't ask him to top up your benefits.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 11/06/2021 10:33

well maybe if they made the minimum wage higher folk wouldn’t need top ups!

She's self employed. So either she doesn't make much in her business or she coincidentally earns just under the tax threshold Hmm

grapewine · 11/06/2021 10:34

Or, rather, replace what you have lost. It's either a relationship or it isn't.

Blindstupid · 11/06/2021 10:36

You’ve had a change of circumstances OP - you need to act accordingly. You’ve lost tax credits as a result - obviously and correctly. How you then choose to manage your finances as a joint couple is up to you. Everyone is different. We pool all money and everything is just joint and ours. Others are horrified by this, they do separate finances, separate bank accounts, separate bills, separate ‘own’ money - I’m horrified by this. It’s whatever suits you both, what works for you both.

Aside from this, when your dc leaves full time education you’re in for a shocker there - you lose EVERYTHING! And that’s very hard to deal with, but that’s just how it is, you have to adjust. 🤷🏼‍♀️

FinallyHere · 11/06/2021 10:36

my partner of three years moved in to look after me after a major op

sometimes think why should I be worse off because he moved in?

Do you still need post-op care from your partner ?

bigbaggyeyes · 11/06/2021 10:37

He's getting free rent
You're getting a free Carer

RandomMess · 11/06/2021 10:37

Now you have recovered from your op etc have you the ability to actually work more hours, earns more etc?

You say i you our teen DS so you were always going to lose a chunk of benefits when he left education?

NoisyNuts · 11/06/2021 10:39

OP I have a similar thread going at the moment regarding my cocklodging DP.

I’d say you’re partner is taking the piss. He no longer needs to look after you and by my calculations, he’d have about £1300 a month spare after tax deductions and food shipping.

It does sound like he’s taking you for a ride. It’s gutting when the penny finally drops, I know, I’m there.

honeylulu · 11/06/2021 10:41

I think it is hard to make a fair comment until you confirm his housing position. Is he still having to fund the costs of wherever he was living before? Or is he actually making a huge saving by living with you rent free? Or renting out his own house and getting a tidy extra income too?
The answer will influence what I think of the situation.

Also, how would you have managed in terms of care if he hadn't moved in. would you have muddled along or would you have had to bear the expense of a daily carer coming in?

Summersnightdream · 11/06/2021 10:41

I wonder if the posters talking about how they never 'moved their boyfriends in' are aware of the tests that are actually involved with deciding if they live with you. It's not cut and dry whether they love in your property. Things such as having meals in your house, staying over, holidays together, whether your family and friends consider you a couple etc are all indicators you are in a relationship. Therefore if you were investigated and they found some of the above to be true, you could be prosecuted for tax credit fraud. It's really not the case of 'oh my boyfriend doesn't move in so I keep reaping tax credits'.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/06/2021 10:44

@Summersnightdream

I wonder if the posters talking about how they never 'moved their boyfriends in' are aware of the tests that are actually involved with deciding if they live with you. It's not cut and dry whether they love in your property. Things such as having meals in your house, staying over, holidays together, whether your family and friends consider you a couple etc are all indicators you are in a relationship. Therefore if you were investigated and they found some of the above to be true, you could be prosecuted for tax credit fraud. It's really not the case of 'oh my boyfriend doesn't move in so I keep reaping tax credits'.
Yeah I did. We dated and I stayed over at his house when my kids were at their dads. Is that ok with you?
Tangled22 · 11/06/2021 10:44

@Cocomarine

Also: how fucked is our benefits system that someone can get £600 a month from the state when they own a house outright? 😳
Agreed.
Getawaywithit · 11/06/2021 10:46

how fucked is our benefits system that someone can get £600 a month from the state when they own a house outright?

Ah yeah, forgot, homeowners don't have living expenses, don't have low incomes, don't have children in childcare etc. etc. etc.

Sure, she could sell it. And then what when they money's gone?

Summersnightdream · 11/06/2021 10:47

No, it's not. Sorry, I just can't stand benefit scroungers who work the system as best they can so they can fleece as much money as possible from the government. If we all took that approach to life, can you imagine the state the country would be in? I really hope the next generation start moving away from sitting down and trying to work out the best way to play the system

LakieLady · 11/06/2021 10:50

@Cocomarine

Also: how fucked is our benefits system that someone can get £600 a month from the state when they own a house outright? 😳
You can't eat a house! Of course they should get benefits if they can't work, what do you expect them to live on?

Someone who qualifies for benefits would be getting a shedload more in benefits if they were renting: £280 a week more where I live. And homeowners have maintenance costs that tenants don't. They can't just ring the council or the HA when their boilers pack up.

If they need care in old age, they will pay for it by selling their homes, too, saving the state a lot more money.

I know it's shit that it's so hard for people to buy a home these days, but the envy of those of us who have managed to buy is really not a good look.