Should partner top up lost tax credits?

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To keep it brief, my partner of three years moved in to look after me after a major op. I've got one teen ds.
I've stopped my wtc, which was approximately £600 a month.
Finances are separate. He was earning £45,000 when he moved in. Now has another job earning £25,000.
I'm se, earn about £12,000.
I pay the household bills, approximately £350.He buys the food, about the same amount. (House owned by me outright).
Should he be reimbursing me my lost wtc? Some of it? All of it? Thoughts please?
I'm feeling a bit hard done by tbh but don't want to fleece him. I sometimes think why should I be worse off because he moved in? Or am I being a money grabber?

For those saying he should be contributing more - why? I understand he is the higher earner but there are two of the OP (her and her DC) and one of him. Plus it's not like shes struggling on the money she has. Plus she has the long term investment of owning the house outright, whereas he doesn't.

They currently split expenses 50/50. That seems more than fair

I think it would sound very tight and U to ask him to cover your lost WTC. He moved in to provide free personal care, and is contributing significantly by paying £350 for food. You own the house outright so only have to pay bills?

I think YABU. He moved in to care for you. He contributes the same amount for food as you do for bills. There's no mortgage.

It's pretty messed up you own a house outright and you are given 600 per month by taxpayers

It sounds like you maybe don’t want to live with him and were happy with things as they were. Isn’t that the conversation you need to be having?

Ex-DH moved in with me when I owned by house outright, and thereby I lost widow’s pension. We had separate finances due to children of previous marriages. He had previously paid rent, so his outgoings fell considerably. He transferred me a monthly amount that meant both of our incomes rose by the same amount (i.e. we split the difference).

If our joint incomes had been lower we would have both taken an equal hit.

Of course he shouldn't be expected to pay your lost tax credits. He's contributing fairly to the course holder budget. And if he was paying minimal rent previously, it possibly costs him more now to feed the three of you than feeding himself and paying the minimal rent he was paying previously.

I don’t even get 600 CFC/wtc for 3 kids & I earn a little bit more than you, however I don’t live in my own house. I think you’ve got it pretty good op. Yes you are down £600 for one child? But you’ve gained help and support and he does pay for stuff like food. I think going forward you need a better split of bills according to your earnings.

You don’t move someone in to pay for your child though or cover what you lose. So you need to ask him to move out or suck it up and re jig your bills

@Wishitsnows

It's pretty messed up you own a house outright and you are given 600 per month by taxpayers

Would it be better if it had to be significantly increased and paid in rent to a landlord instead because the op couldn't afford to keep her house?

This is such an odd way to have a relationship. Surely you should discuss finances before deciding to move in together?

Start at the beginning, with what you both have/earn now (forget the tax credits they are unimportant and gone) and work out how much each of you should pay towards household bills etc. Then put the money in from your salary each month to cover your share and keep the rest to yourselves.

I wouldn’t replace your WTC. It’d be different if he wasn’t contributing at all, but it sounds like he is paying his way?

But it also sounds like you don’t really want him there, and wanted him to move out again after you’d recovered?

Do you see this as being serious enough to live together and mix finances? Do you want it to be?

It’s coming across as very cold and transactional and while it’s a good idea to approach money logically rather than emotionally, I wonder if that’s an indicator that actually you don’t want this.

Omg
You own a house outright
And get £600 tax credits …
Wtf
That’s rediculous

@Wtfdoipick that’s not the only option though. What about a 12 month discard period to cover temporary changes in circumference, followed by a second charge being put against a property, to the maximum of 30% of value. Said charge being repaid into the benefit budget. Or throw in whatever detail you like. You can’t eat bricks, so I’d never propose own house = no benefits. But... in principle, it’s crackers to me that you can own a property outright and claim benefits.

No of course he should not reimburse you for lost benefits! I’d be ending the relationship if I got wind that was what you are thinking.

You are presumably saving some money now as he shared the bills including the fixed overheads?

I think you need to look at your living situation and finances more holistically, and how you want to live, rather than ‘what does he owe me’.

You could start a household account and each put money into that to run the house, food etc.

Look at what proportion of variable costs are down to you and your kids (more guys etc), and decide whether to contribute to the house account in equal amounts, or split according to your relative income, or according to how many people.

It is a tricky area.

Do you actually want to live with him as a family?

So you want your new partner to pay back to you the money you were getting from the state rather than you earning the money yourself?

But back to the OP... you don’t actually sound like you want him there, regardless of the money situation, the way you describe that he “didn’t leave”.

I personally think it’s fine for a unmarried cohabiting couple to have separate/different amounts of money, if they have different salaries or outgoings. Especially where one has children and the other doesn’t. I don’t see why they should have to subsidise another - though if they want to, that’s fine of course. But where one has caused the drop in income (the tax credits situation) then I think it’s fair to take steps to level the situation.

But it sounds like this was just ill thought out from the start and you don’t want him there anyway - get rid.

It sounds like you are now a couple living together and sharing costs. What happened to you benefits should be neither here nor there in how costs should be split. I suggest that costs be split in proportion to income, but (a) house maintenance costs are yours, not joint
(b) the notional rental value of the house is treated as a cost you are paying on behalf of both
(c) the notional rental value is treated as an income you alone are receiving

So if he earns 25K, you earn 12K, joint actual outgoings are 8K, and say it would cost 9K to rent the house if you didn't own it, then:-

(a) you are regarded as having income of (12+9) = 21K
(b) joint outgoings are (8+9) = 17K
(c) your share of that is 17K * 21/(21+25) = 8K
(d) you already paid 9K "rent" by supplying the house, so he needs to give you 1K and pay the 8K joint bills.

Under the figures his contribution would increase from 4K to 9K, so the increase of 5K is in the same ball-park as the benefits you've lost.

This is just what I think is fair, whether he can be persuaded to see it that way is another matter. In general people find it very hard to understand things when understanding them would cost them money.

Maybe ask him to move out, get your wtc back and then live happily ever after with it, alone!

Your poor partner, used as a carer whilst it suited you, now done with him as a carer, you want the money back.

Wow!!

Also, it's possible that he may legitimately be better off if he can live where he lived before, in which case that's what should happen.

Ask him to move out, or reimburse you then apply for uc because both of these will have a same result of him moving out.

I think he should be paying towards the cost of house upkeep, whether that's by going halves in stuff that needs fixing or replacing or by paying a token rent of say £250 a month. Houses are expensive to run, things break, more people using them wears stuff out quicker. Those costs shouldn't all be on you if he lives there too.

No he shouldn’t be expected to top up your wtc. And perhaps you should have discussed and agreed the finances before he moved in - surely you knew it would affect what you were entitled to? 🤷‍♀️

You're having a laugh.

What did you discuss before he moved in?

You need to communicate.