DS 21 sharing a room with us on holiday

[locko55]

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.

At 21 he may be an adult but he's still your child. It's not weird or inappropriate and anyone that thinks that has issues

Nor read all responses - but don't see the problem. You are sharing a room not the flipping bed - no big deal at all. Seriously 🙄.

As for the 'omg what about sex' brigade - do people only save up the sex for holidays. Geez.

If you are all comfortable with the arrangement, then it works. Ask DS if he wants to stick with the usual plan or would prefer his own room this time?

TheChosen Two, my teens love spending time with us when on holidays. We had attached rooms once but ended up me sleeping with one and my husband with the other. They like each others company but they want to talk to us. I find that it's more me and DH that want our space so we end up going to some sort of self catering, airbnb when on holidays longer than a weekend. But our holidays always have been about spending time together. Go out all day and chill ou in the evening together watching TV, chatting, order room service, etc .

@stackemhigh I said it's not inappropriate but I wouldn't enjoy it so wouldn't choose to do it on holiday.

[quote NerrSnerr]@stackemhigh I said it's not inappropriate but I wouldn't enjoy it so wouldn't choose to do it on holiday.[/quote]
Oops sorry NerrSnerr, need my glasses!

What's wrong with sleeping in the same room with a family member? Presumably no one is starkers or having sex.

We do this all the time OP - it's TOTALLY fine. I did same with my parents well into my twenties.

The weirdest thing about it is that between 3 adults not a single one of you considered conversation prior to booking a holiday

I’ve shared hotel bedrooms as an adult with father, who snored annoyingly loudly, so don’t recommend that. Also with brothers as adult, who slept quietly. Other than sleep noise, can’t see the problem. Some see the lack of sex opportunity an issue. If that is so, then sharing is not so good. Maybe save it til you’re back home?

Sorry my mistake, it hasn't even been booked. Yeah, it's a non issue, just talk about it, you don't need the opinions of people here as all family dynamics are different

Perhaps DH needs DS as an excuse?

@legotruck

The weirdest thing about it is that between 3 adults not a single one of you considered conversation prior to booking a holiday

Maybe they are talking about it now as break is next month...

@llizzie

Perhaps DH needs DS as an excuse?

So nasty.

My mum and I couldn't afford seperate rooms so we shared. I also like my parents as people so enjoy going on holidays with them. I see zero issues.

Perhaps DH needs DS as an excuse?

What does this even mean?

I must be in the minority as I really don't see any problem with it. Wouldn't have batted an eyelid at sharing a bedroom with my parents at 21. And I find it more odd that people find it "weird". It's your child

Not read the full thread si might already have been asked..... as you've always had DS in your room am wondering a) whether you never had sex on holiday or b) had sex with DS in the room.
Not asking you to answer, not passing any judgement. Just wondering because neither would have worked for us.

Re current situation: I can imagine sharing a room with an adult child for a night if we needed to be somewhere and couldn't afford a second room. Beyond that, not for me.

@3CCC what makes you think this is not a "crappy" trip to Newquay and a trip to the Caribbean?

OP doesn't indicate its foreign travel and given current guidelines I'm not sure they'll be booking the Caribbean for next month?

More likely they're booking Newquay, don't you think?

Just because the parents are paying (albeit the DF is already showing "mean" tendencies) doesn't mean it's a luxury holiday somewhere does it?

@StoneofDestiny

As for the 'omg what about sex' brigade - do people only save up the sex for holidays. Geez.

Geez, no we don't only have sex on holiday, just that we generally have more time and space for sex on holiday. So we have more sex on holiday and enjoy our own space.

I also don't only drink on holiday
I also don't only lie in on holiday
I also don't only read on holiday
i also don't only time waste just on holiday, as in wandering round town stopping for coffee, sun bathing, visiting museums

However, I enjoy doing ALL those things more on holiday, because I am ...... on holiday!

But I am obviously a part of a "brigade"

[quote SadieCow]@SleepingStandingUp is there a reason you find that enjoying sex on holiday is so odd?

As I've said previously, I enjoy wine on holiday, sex on holiday, lie ins on holiday.

I really don't understand this "ewww" attitude.

But each to their own?

And as your quote of

You're far more contemptuous of people having a priority for holiday that isn't sex though. It's perfectly fine to not take the adult children on holiday.

I'll remind you of this poster

Fucking hell don’t people ever just not have sex for a week? Christ alive. We’ve had all sorts of times when dh and I haven’t had sex for weeks at a time - when my Mum was dying of cancer, when I was struggling with disabilities, when our son was diagnosed with autism and it was stressful, when we’re just too knackered, when life gets in the way etc etc- we’ve been happily married for nearly 14 years. And we still have a lot of sex but there are times when we don’t and that’s normal! And going on a holiday and sharing a room for a week you’d just not and not worry about it surely?!

She's not contemptuous?

[/quote]
Where have I said holiday sex is eww? Or that it's weird to enjoy it? I said it's fine you wouldn't do it cos of sex, it's fine someone would cos they're happy to not have sex if it means the kids can join the holiday. Both of those options are fine. But that's the point, neither are odd or weird or wrong.

a 21 year old is wierd. I mean I have shared a room with my mam at like 17 but certainly not my dad by that age. I do wonder what people think will be happening on the room, if someone will be sneaking peaks, wandering around naked etc. It's perfectly possible to maintain privacy whilst sharing

stackemhigh

Why nasty? I meant that, and it was not meant to be nasty.

There has to be a reason why DH insists on sharing room with his DW and DS. It is most unusual: that is not family life. People need freedom on holiday. Perhaps the parents want to make sure the DS does not enter into temptation.

Remember the TV series 'Sorry' where the middle age man was still smothered by his mother, not allowed to go anywhere without her permission: he had his own room though.

There is a temptation for parents to tie their children down. It is particularly common with sons. Some parents cannot bear their sons to meet women, who might marry them and take them away! There is even an 'empty nest syndrome'. A son of 21 should be living on his own with his own life so that he will learn to look after himself.

I think it's great. If their son is 21 it's highly likely that sex isn't as frequent as it used to be or that their relationship is firm enough to go without for a week. For those who think it's cramping the son's style we don't know what sort of holiday it is, if it's a city break or an activity holiday then the son is not going to be out clubbing and picking up girls, or boys.

We're going on a family holiday later today I'm sure DD would have been happy to share with us as she's not been able to afford a holiday for over 10 years. We're sharing a "villa" on a smart campsite so it's not an issue though.

If the family dynamics make this work than its not weird. Some families are closer than others.

It’s strange that the question here is simply “am I unreasonable to sleep in the same room as my child and husband”

It’s alarming that this has triggered a question, and more alarming that people seem to think there is a problem here,

Sharing a room with your family at any age, is not a problem, NO YOU ARE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE! Anybody talking about activities, age and weirdness need to reflect on why they would presume anything other than a small family sharing a room 🤔

Please don’t ever question if this is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ again. I’m sure there are more pressing concerns a parent can address with their child than weather or not he should be sleeping in your room for a small period of time on holiday?

As long as he’s happy, emotionally supported and spending time with his parents ( which I get the impression he is on all 3 fronts) than you keep being the fantastic parent that you are.

Too much judgement in this world