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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS 21 sharing a room with us on holiday

475 replies

locko55 · 10/06/2021 17:42

Me, DH and DS 21 are going on holiday for a week next month, we have always shared a triple room on holiday, the room has 3 single beds in it. I just wondered recently whether this is not appropriate given that DS is an adult now. DH likes to book a triple room as it is cheaper. DS has never said anything against being in a triple room with us but maybe he doesn't want to complicate matters and just puts up with it.

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 11/06/2021 19:23

No idea how that’s weird. He’s your son. If he was a random 21 year old maybe, but your own son?!!

PixieDust28 · 11/06/2021 19:24

No, it's weird.

TheChosenTwo · 11/06/2021 19:24

Jesus, we have paid for additional bedrooms (so just larger properties) in self catering houses for the dc since they turned about 5! I wouldn’t want to share with any of my dc now and nor they us.
Even in hotels they always had their own (interconnecting) room.
Whatever suits you i suppose, I wouldn’t choose to myself though, no.

VinceBitMe · 11/06/2021 19:30

Is he hard of hearing or do you have speech impediments? If not then trying forming the words: do you want your own room? And then see what he says.

Et voila, your answer!

Susieg733 · 11/06/2021 19:30

Wow! Never considered family rooms to be an issue. We are going skiing at New Year, hotel only does family rooms, so one bunk and 2 single beds in each room. We are mum, dad, ds 18yrs and dd 14yrs. We are all sharing and think it is completely normal, as will all the other families in the hotel.

Nearly47 · 11/06/2021 19:32

TheChosenTwo young children might require a separate room mor because of different bedtimes. I hated having to go bed early ir stay in the dark the kids up. But now mine are 14 and 16 we stay all in the same room for a short break without problems. At night we all talk, watch TV together and go to sleep. If it is a longer stay we usually get self-catering with two rooms.

cappuccinoandcats · 11/06/2021 19:34

No 😂

mam0918 · 11/06/2021 19:36

My DS is just in his teens and Im starting to think about adjoining rooms rather than shared ones... a 21 year old is wierd.

I mean I have shared a room with my mam at like 17 but certainly not my dad by that age.

impossible · 11/06/2021 19:37

I don't see the problem with ds sharing room unless he's uncomfortable with it. Otherwise, why not? Nice a family remain close.

LowlandLucky · 11/06/2021 19:40

What is the issue ? Two years ago i shared a triple room with my Son and Daughter, they were both over 25. Only complaint was from my Son, he said the room stank of perfume.

mylifestory · 11/06/2021 19:45

I thought everyone shared a room on holiday otherwise costs wd double, not being stingey at all. If there was a 22 year old daughter wd she have to have her own room too therefore tripling the cost?

Barney60 · 11/06/2021 19:46

At 21 id think it was odd, in fact id feel odd at 16, but if your all happy then thats fine, have you asked your son if hes ok with it?

SadieCow · 11/06/2021 19:55

@SleepingStandingUp is there a reason you find that enjoying sex on holiday is so odd?

As I've said previously, I enjoy wine on holiday, sex on holiday, lie ins on holiday.

I really don't understand this "ewww" attitude.

But each to their own?

And as your quote of

You're far more contemptuous of people having a priority for holiday that isn't sex though. It's perfectly fine to not take the adult children on holiday.

I'll remind you of this poster

Fucking hell don’t people ever just not have sex for a week? Christ alive. We’ve had all sorts of times when dh and I haven’t had sex for weeks at a time - when my Mum was dying of cancer, when I was struggling with disabilities, when our son was diagnosed with autism and it was stressful, when we’re just too knackered, when life gets in the way etc etc- we’ve been happily married for nearly 14 years. And we still have a lot of sex but there are times when we don’t and that’s normal! And going on a holiday and sharing a room for a week you’d just not and not worry about it surely?!

She's not contemptuous?

QueenoftheFarts · 11/06/2021 19:55

Not sure I would enjoy this for a holiday, never mind what my 21 year old thinks, no way I'm sharing a room with two toxic farters when I'm on my holidays . That said, on the competition circuit for their sport, we often book a family room at a well known motorway hotel and all bundle in together.... saves a fortune... but that's not a holiday..... and I can deal with snoring and farta for one night...

BRDouble · 11/06/2021 20:13

Not strange at all. I loved going abroad with my parents between 14 and 23, and shared a room on many occasions Grin It’s just a base to sleep and usually nothing more!

Duemarch2021 · 11/06/2021 21:01

I don't see why it's classed as inappropriate as people say its your son! But nah not the beat experience for any of u is it... can he get a room next or near to yours and your husbands? Im assuming he'd rather that but feels too rude to ask if you're paying

Honkyzeke · 11/06/2021 21:15

If the 3 of you are comfortable with it, then who cares what anyone else thinks?! Go for it and have a lovely Holiday!

3CCC · 11/06/2021 21:20

The way I was sold it was crappy holiday to Newquay with your mates it will involve rain and a tent.

Or somewhere more exotic like the Caribbean but you'll have to share a room with your parents

Should add I'm a bit of an introvert and don't fair well in large groups of acquaintances

Leontine · 11/06/2021 21:58

I think it’s weird but many people in my family don’t so it’s always seen as me being awkward.

TheChosenTwo · 11/06/2021 22:00

@Nearly47 definitely, when they’re young it was a risk of disturbing each other really, and to be honest now they’re teens they all appreciate their own space. We wouldn’t sleep all in one room at home together, we’d find it quite bizarre, we all need our own space to be honest.

Leontine · 11/06/2021 22:01

Oh and I should say it’s not that I think it’s inappropriate, it’s just that I think holidays should be better than your everyday life and as I don’t share a room with anyone at home, having to do so on holiday wouldn’t appeal to me at all.

SkedaddIe · 11/06/2021 22:03

@Loubylou79

Can all the people saying this is 'inappropriate' please tell me why??
They read too much Freud at uni.
NerrSnerr · 11/06/2021 22:07

It's not inappropriate in my eyes and in an emergency I'd share a room with my parents but I wouldn't enjoy it. I wouldn't feel like I could could fully relax. Saying that, I wouldn't expect my parents to take me away at that age and if they offered but I had to share a room I wouldn't go.

stackemhigh · 11/06/2021 22:08

If it were inappropriate, you wouldn’t do it an emergency either. These are cultural mores, this would be perfectly normal in many cultures.

Abraxan · 11/06/2021 22:09

@Skyla2005

Why does he want to go on holiday with his parents !
Not everyone's children don't enjoy holidays with their parents.

Dd is 19y and we are going in holiday together in October, if restrictions are lifted, otherwise it will be moved to next year.

Strangely enough she quite likes a week or two away with us when we are paying and staying in higher rated accommodation and eating at nicer restaurants than she would with friends.

This time it's back to Orlando for theme parks - her choice.

She's still hoping we can do out China and Hong Kong holiday at some point together, or the one we;'d planned for last summer to Canada, Hawaii and New York.

Just because she still enjoys a holiday with her parents doesn't mean she isn't enjoying holidays with friends as well.

Oh, and she sometimes shares a room with me and her dad. It's a lot cheaper and a lot of US hotels rooms especially have two double beds and are often shared by two couples. the latter I find strange personally, but not sharing with our own child, even now she's grown up. It doesn't bother her either. Sometimes we have separate rooms or adjoining rooms, or self cater in an apartment/house. But sometimes we share.

As for sex - we can manage to go without for a week or two. It's not like we aren't able to indulge as and when we like when we are at home. Often after a day in holiday exploring, especially if on a theme park holiday, at night we just want to crash tbh anyway, our holidays are rarely just sitting relaxing by a pool - we are usually in the go most of the day.