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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being a dick to ask for the money back?

427 replies

Youresogolden · 09/06/2021 13:30

Went out a few weeks ago for mums play date/brunch. I ended up paying for a friend there as she forgot her purse, big confusion as paid for her drink but then she took the change given by the waiter (which was mine) so she owed me £10. She texted later laughing about her mistake and saying we’d have to meet and she’d give it to me. I said no worries etc and left it at that. We’re due to go for another play date/brunch with lots of mums on Friday, arranged by her as she lives nearby. Would I be being a dick to text beforehand asking if she could give me the tenner so I can get brunch for Dd and myself? Or should I wait to see if she offers to pay for it..? She’s very scatty, disorganised and forgetful, so she may have forgotten..just I’m quite skint this week and it would help?

OP posts:
BorderlineHappy · 12/06/2021 11:47

She took your money,she stole the change.
Scatty my arse its a ploy and you fell for it
Ask for your money @Youresogolden.

MimiDaisy11 · 12/06/2021 12:57

It's good you're texting now but I really didn't see anything wrong in a reminder beforehand. To me and lots of people £10 isn't nothing and it's also the principal of it. I would be mortified if I'd done what she did. I once met up with a friend and realised I'd forgotten my bank card and I was so embarrassed to ask them to pay me. As soon as I got home I transferred the money to my friend who had paid for me.

SunshineCake · 12/06/2021 14:47

Why, again, all the talk of saying she's skint, has bills, is short to justify why she's asking for HER OWN MONEY BACK?!

Original poster
Youresogolden · 12/06/2021 15:48

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

Now its pissed me off!

She bought a bigger brunch than me, complete with booze whilst I went for a cheaper option and fizzy water

OP posts:
viques · 12/06/2021 15:52

@Youresogolden

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

Now its pissed me off!

She bought a bigger brunch than me, complete with booze whilst I went for a cheaper option and fizzy water

I’m glad you texted, I think it is clear she had no intention of ever paying you back initially. Well done for calling her out.

I hope she is now shamed into paying you, most people would be so embarrassed they would be selling their granny to raise the funds, but I have the feeling that this one has a very brass neck.

SunshineCake · 12/06/2021 16:02

You definitely can't let this go now. Cheeky cow.

SleepyPartyTime · 12/06/2021 16:05

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

What a cheeky cow, Don't let it go. IT's not even like you lent her this money (which would be bad enough) she basically bloody stole it from you.

DoubleTweenQueen · 12/06/2021 16:23

@Youresogolden You should tell her you understand, however you're all finding money right at the moment! And you can't afford to write off £10 (that you hadn't agreed to lend her in the first place!)

I would ask her to transfer it to you straight away. I think you need to be firm.

DoubleTweenQueen · 12/06/2021 16:23

*tight, not right

ny20005 · 12/06/2021 16:24

She clearly had no intention of paying you back 🙄

gamerchick · 12/06/2021 16:34

@Youresogolden

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

Now its pissed me off!

She bought a bigger brunch than me, complete with booze whilst I went for a cheaper option and fizzy water

Yeah you're not getting and were never getting it back.
rookiemere · 12/06/2021 16:45

I misread it, I thought she genuinely intended to pay you back, but saying you can't pay someone a tenner when you've been out for a meal the day before- nah, that doesn't fly.

Thiscantreallybehappening · 12/06/2021 16:46

I agree with others, she is a cheeky cow. I think she knew exactly what she was doing when she took your change too, I really don't think that was an accident. She saw an opportunity to basically steal your money.

I would also text her and ask her to transfer you the money straight away. Either that or decide to write it off but if you are ever in that situation again with her be firm and say "ha ha no, I can't pay for your drink, last time not only did I help you out by paying but you took my change too and never paid me back" .

OhRene · 12/06/2021 16:49

Damn. That's money is as good as gone OR, you'll be made out to be a rude, nasty woman picking on her and giving her a hard time over a few pence like some tightarsed bitch to your mutual pals.

Send her your PayPal details and tell her brightly that it's easier for her if she pays you this week, before you next meet up because you don't want to cause any embarrassment for her getting handed it in front of people. After all, you hate that kind of thing. So awkward, right?!

If anyone does say anything (if she starts bitching) tell them clearly, she asked you to pay for hers, then pocketed your change before you could.
Lending money is one thing, but no one can think someone nabbing the change of a tenner is okay. That's forcing you to lend. Aka, stealing.

OhRene · 12/06/2021 16:52

Please don't let this go, on principal alone!

Don't be worried about upsetting people. Take your cue from her. She gives zero shits about upsetting you, why shouldn't you afford her the same curtesy?

Snog · 12/06/2021 16:55

I would be quite happy to be reminded about the tenner as I'd hate so much to forget and leave a friend out of pocket after they had done me a favour.

IsabellesMissingSock · 12/06/2021 17:01

I don't think you will be getting the money back, unfortunately.

WestendVBroadway · 12/06/2021 17:07

Well if she is skint she should not be going out for boozy brunches. She sounds like a bloody chancer!

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 12/06/2021 17:16

Please don't let this go. It'll eat at you and it's unfair. Text her back saying ' actually it's just easier if you PayPal me now rather than wait. Thanks! Here're the Details...

Mellonsprite · 12/06/2021 17:18

@Youresogolden

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

Now its pissed me off!

She bought a bigger brunch than me, complete with booze whilst I went for a cheaper option and fizzy water

In this case I think she also nabbed your change on purpose. She’s a sneaky one Hmm
MimiDaisy11 · 12/06/2021 17:23

Maybe I'm more cynical than most but I'm really not surprised at her response. She had and has no intention of giving you the money back. The next time you meet no way is she going to offer you the money.

You're either going to get it through constantly bringing it up or you're just going to have to let it go.

billy1966 · 12/06/2021 17:25

@Youresogolden

I texted last night and she replied late this morning saying she was sorry, she totally forgot but is also really skint and will try to get it back to me as soon as is possible

Now its pissed me off!

She bought a bigger brunch than me, complete with booze whilst I went for a cheaper option and fizzy water

No surprise there, it just didn't strike me for a second plausible to take the change from a tab without having paid.
TellingBone · 12/06/2021 17:58

Some of us said you'd feel like a mug if you didn't ask for it. How much more of a mug do you want to feel?

diddl · 12/06/2021 18:02

Of course it's no surprise.

She stole Op's change & Op said absolutely nothing!

30degreesandmeltinghere · 12/06/2021 18:19

Ask her on fb. She has no shame. Buying a nice lunch with basically your tenner!