Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour complaining about noise

281 replies

YoureGoingToHateMe · 08/06/2021 23:06

I have 2dc - 5yo and 8yo - and today a neighbour came over to ask me to take them inside as they were making too much noise. It was at about 6pm and they’d been playing outside for no more than 45 minutes. Dc2 is partially deaf and is currently being assessed for autism. He sings constantly, not screaming but it is loud and it’s repetitive. Generally it’s the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean while he’s in the garden, occasionally other similar tunes but always the same tune once he has started iyswim.

Neighbour claims it has been going on for hours (it hadn’t, it was definitely around 45 minutes, that she is unable to open the windows in her house as it means she can’t hear her tv/ radio: husband talking and that it had been going on all summer, she just couldn’t stand it anymore and unless I did something about it she would be reporting me to the council.

This neighbour is a second home owner, she only came down around a month ago and is generally here 3-4 days a week. Both our gardens are fairly large and have tress planted down the side. I’ve hopefully attached a diagram as it’s hard to explain that she’s not our direct neighbour but also is, if that makes any sense at all.

I don’t doubt she can hear him while she is in the garden but there is absolutely no way the noise is drowning out her tv etc as she’s claiming. It’s also only been going on for the last couple of weeks as the weather has been so awful lately that we’ve barely been in the garden anyway. The most we’re ever in the garden is a couple of hours a day and most of that time I’ll be out there with them anyway and when I’m there I always make sure dc2 is keeping noise down and distract him from his otherwise constant singing. For the last couple of weeks they’ve been going out for half an hour or so after tea while I’m inside clearing up. It’s never later than 7pm and never before about 10 in the morning.

I explained to her that dc2 was partially deaf and being assessed for autism. She said that’s not her problem (fair enough but I was just trying to explain why he does it) and that next time she heard it she would be recording it and making a noise diary as she had seen suggested on the council website.

AIBU to let dc play in the garden despite knowing how much noise dc2 makes while I’m inside?

TL:DR neighbour expects me to keep my admittedly noisy child quiet while in the garden even though it’s only ever for short periods of time during the day

Neighbour complaining about noise
OP posts:
BakedTattie · 09/06/2021 09:13

You definitely need to gag your child.

Or the neighbour.

You pick Grin

Lulola · 09/06/2021 09:13

I think your kids would like a garden drum kit!

TillyTottenham · 09/06/2021 09:14

According to my council loud singing does qualify as a noise nuisance.
I sympathise with both sides here.

thedancingbear · 09/06/2021 09:15

She's an arsehole. Tell her to fuck off.

Clymene · 09/06/2021 09:16

I'm always amazed by the number of people on MN who have zero tolerance of SEN and yet claim to work with people with additional needs in a professional capacity.

Seems a weird choice of career for someone with zero tolerance for disabilities

Blindstupid · 09/06/2021 09:19

Ignore your part time neighbour. Let her report you, nothing will be done as you’re not actually causing an issue. Special/additional needs or not - makes no difference - your children can play in the garden for 10 hours a day if they want, they can make children's noise for those 10 hours, it’s not anti social, it just isn’t to your neighbours liking - well tough shit for her I say, stupid woman.

KarensGobbyChops · 09/06/2021 09:21

I've heard it all now.

So 'resentment' of a second home owner must be the cause of OP daring to allow her DC to play for a limited time in their own garden, god forbid singing in the sunshine ConfusedGrin.

Dizzybrunette445 · 09/06/2021 09:22

If she can't handle a bit of noise than maybe she should've bought somewhere in the country with no neighbours. But no, she chose to live there. Tough tits

Hont1986 · 09/06/2021 09:22

I never understand why people use the standard of "well I'm allowed to do it" rather than "is it kind?"
The noise is annoying. You say he doesn't do it if you're outside with him, so he can control it. Make a new rule where he has to come in if he sings for more than 10 minutes or however long.

Richter235 · 09/06/2021 09:22

@Waspsarearseholes
Did you really read my comment that way?!

Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 09/06/2021 09:23

Make sure you keep your own diary of when they’re out, you shouldn’t have to but incase she embellishes hers you have your own proof.

Clymene · 09/06/2021 09:25

@Hont1986

I never understand why people use the standard of "well I'm allowed to do it" rather than "is it kind?" The noise is annoying. You say he doesn't do it if you're outside with him, so he can control it. Make a new rule where he has to come in if he sings for more than 10 minutes or however long.
The OP's son is also allowed to enjoy his garden. He enjoys singing. Tolerance goes both ways.

Disabled people shouldn't have to shut up and be locked away because some neurotypical people don't like it.

KarensGobbyChops · 09/06/2021 09:26

@Tinkywinkydinkydoo

Make sure you keep your own diary of when they’re out, you shouldn’t have to but incase she embellishes hers you have your own proof.
I agree with this.
Richter235 · 09/06/2021 09:27

Such an aggressive comment.

CeliaJ · 09/06/2021 09:27

I think there is fault on both sides. Your neighbour is being unreasonable. It's perfectly normal for children to play in their own garden and a certain amount of noise is inevitable. So long as it doesn't go on until late in the evening, your neighbour has no choice but to put up with it.
At the same time, all parents have a duty to make sure their children don't cause too much nuisance for other people. You know your son has a problem and you state he is noisy when you are not in the garden with him. Is this his way of keeping your attention? You need to try to distract him in some way so that his noise does not reach unreasonable levels.
A little flexibility and understanding is needed on both sides of the fence.

ArrrMeHearties · 09/06/2021 09:28

It's not like it's 10/11pm at night it's 6pm which is dinnertime for a lot of people and with the nicer weather might mean a bbq or sitting outside to eat. Your ds is allowed to play and sing in his garden and while he might be a little louder due to his deafness thats okay he is allowed to enjoy himself in his own garden

Hont1986 · 09/06/2021 09:28

My child enjoys singing too, but I don't allow her to sing the same song loudly outside for 45 minutes straight. Having some consideration for neighbours doesn't equate to being 'locked away' Hmm

Osrie · 09/06/2021 09:30

SOME People will find it difficult and I must admit I need a break from loud noisy screaming children three doors away! Would never complain though it’s part of life. Sound does travel. But part timer lucky only children being children. Tell her it’s a free country, she is allowed to complain and children are allowed to be children!

WyldStallions · 09/06/2021 09:36

@Richter235

Ah, I have even more sympathy for her now. There’s just no good outcome here, she’s going to have to suck it up as you can’t silence a but it must be miserable for her. And it’s pretty uncool of you to judge her for her poor choice of location… Shes actually paid a premium (I know because I have similar) and ended up with less.
My nasty neighbour has a house at the side at right angles to ours, and the far end of his very long garden is behind mine and my neighbour's very tiny gardens. We both have kids. Nasty neighbour spent 12 months building a garden office right behind our gardens, sawing and banging and we put up with it. Then he started working in his garden office and complains when our kids play out or our dog barks because he's WORKING don't cha know.

Well he chose to put his office in the part of his huge garden where he abutts the back fence of two families with kids and a dog. Our gardens are a quarter the size of his and our kids are allowed to use them. He can fuck off.

Caroline88h · 09/06/2021 09:36

@Billybagpuss

Buy him a drum
Haha love this idea 💡 Grin
dottiedodah · 09/06/2021 09:37

I think she is being unreasonable here.The thing is though 45 minutes around Supper Time can be annoying .Can you go out with DC at all .I feel for you as I dont think you are in the wrong here ,just sometimes a compromise is better than All Out war with NDN.

randomkey123 · 09/06/2021 09:37

You may well have become accustomed to your DC's level of noise but it may be quite loud to others? And as someone who has noisy neighbours themselves, it can really grind you down listening to noise that you have no control over.

Iceybirb · 09/06/2021 09:40

Totally got the pirates theme stuck in my head now. Good tune.

Tell her she should think herself lucky it's not baby shark.

Wheresthebeach · 09/06/2021 09:41

Let her crack on. The kids are allowed to be in the garden and you've not left them out making a racket all day. I'd be firm or you're going to be apologising for every time you go in your garden.

I get the noise is irritating...we have neighbours (terrace) who's kids play instruments. 3 hours a day and we hear every note. We do have to turn the TV up to cover the noise. Its a pain, and I keep praying they'll take up sport instead, but hey, it's life.

Caroline88h · 09/06/2021 09:41

When on mumsent you realise how lacking in empathy many adults are. If only the world had more understanding folk who had a bit more patience. I know many will disagree with me. Children are only labelled good if they are quiet it seems Hmm

Swipe left for the next trending thread