Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that I have finally experienced the dreaded arse daggers?!

252 replies

Confrontayshunme · 08/06/2021 20:02

You tried to warn me, MN, but in all my nearly 40 years, I have never felt anything like it. To quote Supt. Hastings "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey!"

Was trying to supervise 20 children and thought I would scream or fall down and actually writhe on the floor. I did feel like I was being stabbed, so at least the name is right.

Honestly, I almost asked a coworker to cover for me, but I thought she would laugh if I said I was dying and my bum hurt.

Then, 10 of the longest minutes of my life later and they just stopped. What the hell?! Will they come back every time I have a period? Why now at almost 40?

I have so many questions and the internet is not helping.

Give me your worst arse dagger stories...

OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 09/06/2021 07:19

@JetBlackSteed

Javelin Arse describes it perfectly. I got it every period when in peri. I found, eventually, that shuffling to the loo and trying to do a massive poo (while gripping the edges hard) and bearing down sort of gets rid of it quicker. It stopped as suddenly as it started and I've not had one in years now, but for me definitely period related.
Yes, I find straining as if pushing a fart out helps. I guess if the sphincter is in spasm doing so might stop the spasm??
BlackAlys · 09/06/2021 07:23

@RamsayBoltonsConscience

The second you feel it starting down some painkillers! I've had it so bad it's woken me up. I've tried waiting it out but that's horrific, ibruprofen was the only cure for me. I have a Mirena so thankfully don't get them anymore Grin
Ibuprofen takes about 30 mi utes to be effective and I find mine ebbs away after about 20 minutes. Paracetamol acts within 10 minutes so is quicker.

I also get woken by the pain at night and it has been mostly a night occurrence for me. It quite literally reduces me to tears.

I've had one or two attacks in the day - one was on a sponsored walk that I was leading across unknown mountain terrain. I ended up leaning on a farmers tractor wheel, white and clenched in agony whilst the party of 16 I was with, milling around like sheep waiting for me. A few anxious walkers were trying to rub my back like I was in labour but there is quite literally nothing anyone can do about it.

I dread having this attack in a classroom - it's totally debilitating and I'd have to lie and call it period cramps or something, because saying "it's my javelin arse" would be unthinkable!

BlackAlys · 09/06/2021 07:29

@takeabrolly

God I've found my tribe. I've had these pains for years. I'm well in the menopause and although they aren't so frequent I do still get them. Only ever had them in bed and (obviously) woken up in agony. I can barely breathe through it. I'd love to know what it is. I get several attacks for a few weeks then nothing for ages. I get up, walk about, stretch, curl up but nothing helps. Then it stops. My mum's friend suffers from this and she keeps icepops for this very reason. My sympathies to those of you who get them at work
What does she do with her ice pops?!
Hemlock2013 · 09/06/2021 07:36

I’ve had this too, but mine seems to have progressed into something slightly different. I’d be interested to hear if anyone else gets this too. Not shooty pain but a severe dull ache up the bum, often at night, bearing down on the loo helps but it wakes me up and is awful! It’s been since having kids, not shooting pain anymore but dull ache instead… just as intense though. Anyone have this??

TolkiensFallow · 09/06/2021 07:38

Omg this happens to other people!!!!! It’s not just me!!!!

sashh · 09/06/2021 07:46

Mine went when my periods did.

I remember once when I was 11 or 12 standing next to a male teacher as he was marking some work and talking to me and thinkin, "You have no idea how much pain I'm in now"

I have no idea what you are talking about

Pray to every deity you can think of and a few you can't that you do not know this evil.

To explain, if any is needed, it is an acute sharp pain many women experience on their period and feels exactly as you would imagine a javelin being stuck up your bum.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 09/06/2021 07:52

It's only happened to me once but, yes, it's rather painful! I was on the loo when it happened, thankfully, rather than out of the house. I went all hot and clammy and thought I was going to faint, so I can see why it could almost cause a car crash when driving 😬

ChompStompRoar · 09/06/2021 07:54

Fanny daggers!!! Actually it could be bun related. So sudden, unexpected and painful!!! Literally stops me in my tracks and double over in pain 🙈

Geamhradh · 09/06/2021 07:56

@Hemlock2013

I’ve had this too, but mine seems to have progressed into something slightly different. I’d be interested to hear if anyone else gets this too. Not shooty pain but a severe dull ache up the bum, often at night, bearing down on the loo helps but it wakes me up and is awful! It’s been since having kids, not shooting pain anymore but dull ache instead… just as intense though. Anyone have this??
There are two similar but different javelin arses- proctalgia fugax and ani levator, might be the ani levator one Mine have got worse since menopause, no endo, no nothing. My doc told me it's more common in men in her experience but men are less likely to go to the doctor with a pain in their arse and tend to mention it in passing rather than go specifically.

That's interesting about paracetamol. I always tend to reach for ibuprofen for stronger pain, so automatically did that. I'll keep the paracetamol by the bed from now on!

Notagain20 · 09/06/2021 07:56

Apparently it's the impact of a full bowel and swollen uterus, there isn't enough room! So at times in your cycle it can be incredibly pain when your bowel is full. Pain unlike anything!

Have a good sit on the loo every morning when you're on your period (or if you no longer have periods when you notice the pain) and it should help

CigarsofthePharoahs · 09/06/2021 07:57

Javelin arse is such a good name. At least it's a pain I can file under "normal" and not sodding fibromyalgia. Why is the human body so bloody weird?

Mandalay246 · 09/06/2021 08:12

I'm almost 62 and still get it several times a year, usually at night. Sometimes it just goes away by itself, other times I take a couple of painkillers and that fixes it.

GoingGently · 09/06/2021 08:58

Oh my god, it is horrendous and I can't believe you all get it too!! Makes me feel like I'm dying... happens roughly about every 6 months and often at night, waking me up. Can also be brought on by sex. Unfortunately with me it normally lasts half an hour and I end up crawling on the floor in total agony. It always makes me wonder HOW on earth I would ever cope with childbirth!! When it goes it's as though nothing happened and I'm left feeling a bit traumatised by my own body! Often feel like I'm going to vomit too...seems to affect my entire digestive tract.

After suffering in silence for many years I once mentioned it to my mum and she said "oh yes I get that it's terrible, and your brother gets it too" Confused I'd thought it was maybe endometriosis but obviously not!

It is absolutely the devil's work! You all have my sympathies!

GoingGently · 09/06/2021 09:13

I think there may be two different arse pain phenomena being talked about here. I've been treated to both, but they are quite different.

One is like a lightning strike / shooting / stabbing pain that's agony but mercifully quite brief. I get these on my period and struggle to sit down when it strikes but (for me) it doesn't last long thank god.

The other is the horrendous spasm that builds slowly and has people writing in agony for longer periods of time, often 20-30 mins. It is intense and unrelenting and often strikes at night. Exactly like others have said, if you tense up against it, its grip gets worse and you just have to sort of wait it out (whilst panting and cursing god) until it decides to fuck off again. Strikes are seemingly random and can be months apart.

Both are absolutely awful. I personally would take the first flavour arse javelin over the latter, which I go cold at the thought of!

SirVixofVixHall · 09/06/2021 09:16

@Hemlock2013

I’ve had this too, but mine seems to have progressed into something slightly different. I’d be interested to hear if anyone else gets this too. Not shooty pain but a severe dull ache up the bum, often at night, bearing down on the loo helps but it wakes me up and is awful! It’s been since having kids, not shooting pain anymore but dull ache instead… just as intense though. Anyone have this??
Mine is more of a severe ache. It is intense though. I didn’t get it until after having children so I assumed it was possibly related to c-section scarring, although now that I have read it is a muscular spasm that does make sense in terms of the pain. Sometimes the pain has spread to my c-section scar, which is why I wondered. I get it very rarely thank goodness, once or twice a year.
coogee · 09/06/2021 09:22

I am certain my agony is nothing to do with my menstrual cycle.

My husband gets it occasionally.

It's definitely nothing to do with his menstrual cycle.

Hemlock2013 · 09/06/2021 09:27

@SirVixofVixHall I’m sad to say, I’m grateful somebody else gets the intense but dull ache too. I thought impacted stool or piles as it’s internal but arse related! Interesting it effects your c section scar?!

orinocosfavoritecake · 09/06/2021 09:29

@Nonmaquillee - me too! They were the worst part of labour by far.

CovidCorvid · 09/06/2021 09:35

I wish I only got them at night/in bed...I get attacks out the blue in Tesco, doing the school run, etc. I screamed in the middle of a garden centre once and had to pretend I'd seen a spider!

Beautiful3 · 09/06/2021 12:03

I rarely get these, but it seems to occur around my menstrual cycle, only if I'm constipated.

HemlockStarglimmer · 09/06/2021 14:05

I get it too. Not often and each attack has lasted less than a minute, thankfully. But I can't do anything while it's happening except pray it goes away quickly.

There was a thread about it in here a little while ago and it was a big relief to learn that although it's awful while it's happening it isn't usually a sign of something sinister.

Chillychangchoo · 09/06/2021 14:43

Gosh never knew this was a thing however I once found my mum collapsed on the floor when I was a teenager, her lips were blue but she came round very quickly. Said she had severe stabbing pains up her bum but it never did return.

godmum56 · 09/06/2021 17:44

@Notagain20

Apparently it's the impact of a full bowel and swollen uterus, there isn't enough room! So at times in your cycle it can be incredibly pain when your bowel is full. Pain unlike anything!

Have a good sit on the loo every morning when you're on your period (or if you no longer have periods when you notice the pain) and it should help

yeah.....that maybe a cause but not the only one.
spagbog5 · 09/06/2021 17:47

I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago and so have not had this since but by god I really the pain - horrific

Yespresh · 09/06/2021 17:48

Try taking Omeprazole, dont think you need a prescription for it

Swipe left for the next trending thread